(Closed) TWO bachelorettes and a shower…. invites and not overwhelming guests HELP!

posted 4 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

have one bachelorette. make the trip to vegas just a fun trip to vegas for whomever would like to come. don’t make it a bachelorette.

Post # 3
Member
687 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

I second 

View original reply
ttw16 :  the Vegas trip sounds fun but expensive, so propose it as a trip but don’t make it a bachelorette or else people might feel too pressured to go. One bachelorette plus a shower is already plenty of pre-wedding festivities!

Post # 4
Member
7559 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

 As soon as you call it a bachelorette party, people feel obligated to come. Go thru this forum and see allllll the complaints about excessively expensive bachelorette parties. Skip the trip to Vegas or make that a regular vacation where the pressure on others to attend is lower. Have your local bachelorette and local shower. That will seem a lot less manageable for the guests.

Post # 7
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Edited to reflect your most recent update: yes, I think it’s a good idea to make it very clear that you are only asking them to come to one. I also wouldn’t expect too many people to jump on the Vegas bandwagon.

Post # 8
Member
1219 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

View original reply
littlecats :  i like the idea of doing one invite or at least inviting everyone to all 3 but asking them to choose which they want to attend.

Post # 10
Member
486 posts
Helper bee

Won’t the shower be a bit weird with just 3 older women and your MOH? Maybe just skip the shower. 

Post # 11
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee

I had a friend do a Vegas trip and a local party and it was a total non-issue. Her sister organized Vegas and made it clear that they were going to celebrate and would love to have anyone who was able to join them – she did not however ask anyone to share in the bride’s expenses or anything else so while it was “a bachelorette”, it was really more a fun girls weekend for anyone able to make it.

The Maid/Matron of Honor then organized a really laid back in-town bachelorette – pedicures, dinner and dancing – with people coming to whatever part they wanted to (for example, the non-partiers just joined for pedicures etc).

I think the key to all of this being okay was that no one felt obligated in anyway – no one was expected or asked to pay for things (though of course, people bought drinks etc) and those hosting looked after the brides expenses. This way the guests really felt like they were being invited to celebrate with the bride, rather than just chip in for her good time.

Post # 12
Member
13649 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Traditionally, inviting people to more than one pre-wedding event, especially of the expensive or gift giving variety, is considered an imposition. When one is an expensive destination trip you are already there.  

Unfortunately, I don’t think there is a very gracious way of inviting people and turning around to tell them they don’t need to attend. The prerogative is always with the guest. 

Once you label something as wedding related, people will feel pressure to attend no matter what you say. 

Post # 13
Member
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

View original reply
pancakes11 :  what I was thinking! 

The topic ‘TWO bachelorettes and a shower…. invites and not overwhelming guests HELP!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors