Post # 1
My first fitting for my wedding dress was a few days ago (only the 3rd time I’ve seen my dress). I invited my mom and grandma to share in part of this special process. I also invited two of my bridesmaids one of which is engaged herself.
During my appointment the two bridesmaids conspired to try on wedding dresses even though it was my appointment. No sooner did I take off my wedding dress then they took over my dressing room to try on dresses. My engaged friend was literally in front of the mirrors in her first dress while I was trying to pay for my veil.
By the time my friend came out in her second dress I was so hurt that I felt physically ill. Yet I didn’t want to make and scene and was so shocked I couldn’t bring myself to say anything to them at that very moment. The next day I told one of the girls how poor taste I thought it was that they tried on dresses at my appointment and it hurt my feelings. She didn’t really apologize or admit what they did was wrong. She simply said their intent wasn’t to hurt my feelings. I’m trying to let it go but everytime I think about it I get furious and I really want them to understand how rude their actions were.
Has anyone else had this happen? Am I correct to be upset that my friend took over my special day to try on dresses for herself?
Post # 3
One of my BM’s is engaged, and getting married just a few months after me. We actually scheduled our appointments together so that we could try dresses on together… so I don’t see what the big deal is, but it’s something that we had BOTH talked about and agreed upon. I thought it was fun, and it really added to our experience to go through it together.
Post # 4
I would absolutely be annoyed….that’s just strange to me.
Post # 5
I think you’re overreacting.
Post # 6
The other piece to this story is my friend who tried on the dresses is very competitive with me (no clue why). So, the first dress she tried on naturally was the same designer and style as my actual wedding dress. It was a total mind $#%! to watch someone in a dress just like mine right after I tried mine on. And no, this was not planned by me to have a dual appointment which is why I felt so uncomfortable.
Post # 7
I think what they did was in very poor taste. But if they truly didn’t know it was upsetting you, just let it go. It’s not worth ruining friendships over.
Post # 8
I can see if it was during the time you were trying on dresses, but you had finished and were paying for a veil correct?
Post # 9
It’s weird, but I’d take your friend at her word that it wasn’t intended to hurt you…they probably didn’t even think about it. They probably thought that because they waited until you were done that it was enough, and for many people that would be fine, but I can certainly see why it would be hurtful since you invited them to be with YOU. Now that you’ve told them of your feelings though, the only thing you can do is let it go…by the time she has her fitting she’ll probably feel some real regret.
Post # 10
They were just trying to have a good time. I am not sure why this would provoke such a strong emotion from you.
Post # 11
I would be a little annoyed, but probably only because I would want them to give me feedback on what I was trying on. They were probably just caught up in wedding excitement and it appears as if they didn’t realize it would be a problem for you.
ETA – just caught that this was a fitting, not a dress shopping. Then I think it’s even more appropriate for them to try on dresses. I didn’t really think the fitting was that big of a deal, I went to my first one by myself.
Post # 12
Your special day is your wedding day, not the day of your fitting.
Post # 13
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
I would be annoyed– not so much that she did it, but that she didn’t tell me in advance that it was planned.
Honestly, I understand your frustration, but you should let it go. She wasn’t trying to step on your toes, but we all live busy lives, and she probably just thought “Hey, I’m here, so why not?”
With everything else you’ve got on your plate with the wedding and the rest of your life, is this really something that’s worth spending energy on?
Post # 14
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
At first I thought they were trying on dresses while you were dress shopping, which really wouldn’t have been appropriate. If I understand your post correctly, you were finished in the dressing room when the girls tried on dresses. You already had your dress- it was a day to show what you’d selected, not to get opinions on what dress to choose.
I’m having trouble understanding why this upset you- “my friend took over my special day.” This was a great opportunity for them to start looking for their dresses since they were already at a bridal store, and could get feedback from other friends. I agree with Beckster329 – “Your special day is your wedding day.”
Post # 15
Thanks for your comments everyone. These girls are notorious amongst our group of friends for being “thunder stealers” which is why I think I was taking it so hard. I just couldn’t believe they couldn’t let me have one day to myself since they always turn the attention on themselves no matter where we are. Reading everyone’s comments make me realize that this is in the past now and I don’t want to lose good friends over it and my wedding day will be my special day no matter what.
Post # 16
If they had done this while you were still searching for your dress and needed their help in trying on and considering dresses, I think that would have been very inappropriate and quite annoying.
The fact that they did this after your fitting, and while you were waiting to pay for your veil, doesn’t really bother me. However, it likely DID bother personnel at the store, who may have had plans for putting another bride in that fitting room, since your friends did not actually have an appointment. I know at my bridal salon, once you had purchased your dress, you could no longer book appointments (for fittings) during what the salon considered “bridal appointment times” (which translated into peak times for prospective purchasers to look for gowns.)
I would chalk this up to two friends who wanted to capitalize on the fact that they were in a bridal salon, with gowns to try on, and nothing constructive to do while they were waiting for you to finish your fitting and make your veil purchase.