(Closed) Two Brides – One Appointment

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

One of my BM’s is engaged, and getting married just a few months after me.  We actually scheduled our appointments together so that we could try dresses on together… so I don’t see what the big deal is, but it’s something that we had BOTH talked about and agreed upon.  I thought it was fun, and it really added to our experience to go through it together.

Post # 4
Member
1769 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I would absolutely be annoyed….that’s just strange to me.

Post # 5
Member
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think you’re overreacting.

Post # 7
Member
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think what they did was in very poor taste. But if they truly didn’t know it was upsetting you, just let it go. It’s not worth ruining friendships over.

Post # 8
Member
4275 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I can see if it was during the time you were trying on dresses, but you had finished and  were paying for a veil correct?

Post # 9
Member
1628 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It’s weird, but I’d take your friend at her word that it wasn’t intended to hurt you…they probably didn’t even think about it. They probably thought that because they waited until you were done that it was enough, and for many people that would be fine, but I can certainly see why it would be hurtful since you invited them to be with YOU. Now that you’ve told them of your feelings though, the only thing you can do is let it go…by the time she has her fitting she’ll probably feel some real regret.

Post # 10
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

They were just trying to have a good time. I am not sure why this would provoke such a strong emotion from you.

Post # 11
Member
3182 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would be a little annoyed, but probably only because I would want them to give me feedback on what I was trying on.  They were probably just caught up in wedding excitement and it appears as if they didn’t realize it would be a problem for you.  

ETA – just caught that this was a fitting, not a dress shopping.  Then I think it’s even more appropriate for them to try on dresses.  I didn’t really think the fitting was that big of a deal, I went to my first one by myself. 

Post # 12
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Your special day is your wedding day, not the day of your fitting.

Post # 13
Member
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

I would be annoyed– not so much that she did it, but that she didn’t tell me in advance that it was planned.  

Honestly, I understand your frustration, but you should let it go.  She wasn’t trying to step on your toes, but we all live busy lives, and she probably just thought “Hey, I’m here, so why not?” 

With everything else you’ve got on your plate with the wedding and the rest of your life, is this really something that’s worth spending energy on? 

Post # 14
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

At first I thought they were trying on dresses while you were dress shopping, which really wouldn’t have been appropriate. If I understand your post correctly, you were finished in the dressing room when the girls tried on dresses. You already had your dress- it was a day to show what you’d selected, not to get opinions on what dress to choose.

I’m having trouble understanding why this upset you- “my friend took over my special day.” This was a great opportunity for them to start looking for their dresses since they were already at a bridal store, and could get feedback from other friends. I agree with Beckster329 – “Your special day is your wedding day.”

Post # 16
Member
11347 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

If they had done this while you were still searching for your dress and needed their help in trying on and considering dresses, I think that would have been very inappropriate and quite annoying. 

The fact that they did this after your fitting, and while you were waiting to pay for your veil, doesn’t really bother me. However, it likely DID bother personnel at the store, who may have had plans for putting another bride in that fitting room, since your friends did not actually have an appointment. I know at my bridal salon, once you had purchased your dress, you could no longer book appointments (for fittings) during what the salon considered “bridal appointment times” (which translated into peak times for prospective purchasers to look for gowns.)

I would chalk this up to two friends who wanted to capitalize on the fact that they were in a bridal salon, with gowns to try on, and nothing constructive to do while they were waiting for you to finish your fitting and make your veil purchase.

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