(Closed) two bridesmaids dresses….too much?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: What do you think: asking BMs to wear a gown & inviting them to change to a LBD for the after party?
    Ugh, no. They basically have to get two dresses : (132 votes)
    77 %
    Good idea! That way they can let loose at the end - everyone already has a LBD : (10 votes)
    6 %
    I don't like wearing gowns - I would be unhappy : (1 votes)
    1 %
    I love wearing gowns! I wouldn't want to change : (21 votes)
    12 %
    Other - explaining below... : (8 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 2
    1580 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    The first thing I thought was ‘I think it’s silly when a bride gets two dresses for the ceremony and reception. Now you’re asking your BMs to do it?!’ 

    However, after reading the whole post I think that it sounds fine. I wouldn’t tell them that they have to purchase a new dress though. Just say that they can change into any cocktail attire dress that they feel comfortable in if they want. If they want to stay in their Bridesmaid or Best Man gown, they can. The after party is a LOT less formal, everyone has been drinking, they’re focusing on having a good time. So I would go forward with getting them long gowns. Hell, I remember wearing jeans to a couple of afterparties! At that point, no one is thinking about what anyone else is wearing. 

    Post # 3
    1987 posts
    Buzzing bee

    View original reply
    cantwaittobeemarried:  Please do not do this to your wedding party.  There are some women who have bodies that are tricky to flatter in short/knee-length dresses and thus actually don’t own a LBD.  (I am one–the size of my bust and my waist length are such that long dresses are way more flattering and I do not own a single, solitary LBD-type dress; I wear dressy separates when others would wear cocktail-length dresses.)  Your bridesmaids might feel that their LBDs are too old/revealing/whatever for a wedding and feel obligated to buy a new one.  There are so many ways in which this could place an additional financial burden on your wedding party.  

    ETA: Reading fail on my part–for some reason I thought you wanted them to change dresses for the reception, not an after party.  In that case, I agree with all the posters who say that you have no grounds to tell them what to wear (or can’t wear or whatever) to the after party.

    Post # 4
    1031 posts
    Bumble bee

    I would be pissed off as a bm if I was asked to PAY for two dresses. If you are the one paying then I don’t care. It’s e pensive enough to be a bm without adding another dress that I will never wear again (no I won’t. Seriously. Stop thinking I will). 

    Post # 5
    6809 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I (sort of) agree with the first poster – if you do decide to give them the option of a shorter dress, let them wear whatever they already own that’s decent enough.  

    As a person who owns very few dresses and none at all in black or cocktail length, I would not appreciate the request to change and would probably just stay in the gown I’d already bought.  As it happens, I wore a satin gown for my best friend’s wedding and had no difficulty at all dancing in it.  they don’t weigh nearly as much as a wedding gown does!  Really I wouldn’t want to be bothered with changing unless the first dress was really uncomfortable.

    Post # 6
    245 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2015

    Theoretically, couldn’t they just change into whatever they want to wear for the after party? Or are requiring them to be dressed up for it? If it’s a requirement you should pay for their second dress or pick one dress they can wear for the whole thing. 

    Post # 7
    2732 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I don’t understand why you’d tell them to change into a LBD for the after party? That’s really strange to me. I think it’s pretty well understood that people (wedding party included) can change into whatever they want for an after party. you want to dictate what they wear to a HOTEL AFTER PARTY?? Once the ceremony and reception are over you have no say in what the bridal party does. I would just let them know they are welcome to change out of their gowns for the after party. But don’t tell them it has to be an LBD and tell them they are also welcome to still wear their gowns if they choose. 

    Post # 8
    12822 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Your BMs can figure out whether or not they want to change for the after party. You shouldn’t be dictating anything, let alone that they all change into a black dress.  

    Post # 9
    1580 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    View original reply
    SoonAsYouCan:  I sort of thought this was the case, but I wasn’t sure. At the afterparties I’ve been to, I’ve worn jeans and so has the bride! It’s way more about a party then a wedding at that point. 


    I understand that you want to make sure your BMs are comfortable, but in that case you should just remind them that they can wear whatever they want to the afterparty. If they want to change, they can! If no, that’s fine too

    Post # 10
    2572 posts
    Sugar bee

    If I could wear one of my own short dresses I already own for the reception than sure.if you want me to buy two dresses the answer would be no.

    Post # 11
    6347 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

    I don’t think this is a good idea, I wouldn’t be on board if I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

    Post # 12
    1183 posts
    Bumble bee

    for lack of a better word ‘let’ them change into whatever they want. Mine ditched their heels and one ditched her dress after the formal photos. happy comfy Bridesmaid or Best Man was way more important to me than a ‘look’.

    please don’t make them have to buy another dress. I don’t own a LBD or any cocktail attire other than a couple of summer dresses for day weddings. I’d be annoyed if this ‘freedom’ meant buying a dress I’ll not wear again. 

    Post # 13
    2552 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    View original reply
    cantwaittobeemarried:  I kind of thought that once the ceremony and formal photos were over your BMs had done their duty and could change into whatever they wanted.  Why do you care what they’re wearing at that point?  For that matter I don’t think you can require your BMs to attend an after-party much less wear a specific color.

    Also I’m in the don’t-own-a-LBD camp because I look like shit in black.

    Post # 14
    1699 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2016

    I think you should ask your BM’s what they would be most comfortable with privately. 

    Post # 15
    3231 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    View original reply
    cantwaittobeemarried:  I would tell your BMs they are welcome to change for the afterparty and not specify WHAT they should change in to. 

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