(Closed) Two catholics living together…

posted 9 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • V
  • 9 years ago

Whatever you do….DON’T LIE!

As an adult…Bite the bullet! be honest and straight forward. What’s the point of tricking the priest into marrying you…or to start the marriage with a lie??

He’ll probably give you a little lecture and be done with it. He won’t say no to marrying you. 

Post # 4
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Unless your church is really conservative don’t worry about it. My fiance and I live together (he isn’t catholic) and when the priest was asking for our addresses when we said same as the last one. He was just like oh. But he didn’t say anything. My cousin and her husband lived together and had no problems. Of course they prefer you not to live together but they won’t stop you. They didn’t stop my aunt over 14 years ago either.

Post # 5
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I’m with V. DONT LIE! Be prepared to be lectured though becuase unless he happens to be a pretty liberal priest – he will.

Post # 6
Member
327 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Holy Family Catholic Church, reception: National Infantry Museum

Mr. CC and I are both Catholic, and we’ve been living together for almost a year.  Our priest said nothing when we told him we live together.  We’re even registered at the church together.  The only person to say something so far has been the lady who registered us for Pre Cana.

I was nervous too, since I’m not only living with Mr. CC, but I have a child out of wedlock who hasn’t been baptized yet.  Luckily, no lecture!

Post # 7
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I agree with everyone else…just tell them the truth!  You know your priest and church, but you might also want to be prepared if they tell you that they won’t marry you.  I don’t think they will.  I think the Catholic Church has been more accepting of people living together before marriage. We are living together too.  Our priest didn’t say a thing.  Fiance said something afterwards about me putting the same address down, but it didn’t cross my mind that it would be an issue!

Post # 8
Member
735 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

You aren’t the first nor will be the last. Its really no big deal any more. We didn’t get a lecture but we did have to answer a few more questions on our focus.

 

Post # 9
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I agree that you definitely shouldn’t lie about it. It seems that most priests nowadays are going for a softer, gentler approach, but only you know your priest and what he’s like. Just be prepared to go into the situation – as others have said – like the adult you are.

Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2009

Lying is definitely a bad idea!  Most priests, regardless of how progressive the world has become, may say something, but I wouldn’t say it is a "big deal" or deal breaker… During our last meeting before the wedding, our priest suggested that we spend the last month preparing for the wedding by not sleeping together… He prefaced by stating he was not inferring anything nor did he want to offend us.  My Fiance and I made that commitment to each other over a year ago (which, ironically, was right before we moved in together).  In the end, it’s been difficult at times, but come wedding night we will know our promise to each other and I feel that will make it all the more special. Certainly nothing our priest was ever involved with or demanded from us in order to marry.  There are actually books written now about cohabitating before marriage (catholic based)  I am not catholic so I haven’t read them to give you a review.  Also, heads up, in our pre cana weekend at least, in the "survival kit" they send you on your merry way with, they include a pamphlet "Why cohabitating before marriage is a sin"…. That was really irritating and I just threw it in the trash 🙂

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