(Closed) two dads. fight with mom. DRAMA. (long. sorry).

posted 5 years ago in Family
  • poll: Who should walk me down the aisle?
    go with your gut- BOTH : (36 votes)
    84 %
    step-dad : (4 votes)
    9 %
    dad : (0 votes)
    convince mom she should do it- avoid drama. : (0 votes)
    F*%@$ them all. walk by yourself. : (3 votes)
    7 %
    other. : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    2685 posts
    Sugar bee

    Good for you for standing up for yourself with your mom.  You have clearly put a lot of thought into this, and it’s good that you’re trying to incorporate both dads’ views.  I think the fairest option is to have both walk you down the aisle.  Your mom’s arguments don’t really hold up in this case.  It doesn’t matter who raised you more, it matters who you would like beside you as you walk down the aisle.  And I’ve never heard that whoever is walking the bride down the aisle is paying for the wedding.  However, if your family is unwilling to put their differences aside for one day, it may be better for you to walk alone or with someone else.

    Post # 4
    Member
    858 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2018

    @delovely13:

    I think it’s a great idea to have them both walk you down the aisle.  I would probably do it in a way like your dad walking you down the first half and than your step dad walking you down the second half.

    Maybe she’s upset because of whatever reason they got divorced.  Was it a nasty divorce?

    Post # 5
    Member
    3230 posts
    Sugar bee

    @delovely13:  Have you ever considered walking yourself down the aisle? I don’t have much of a relationship with my dad and even if he had come to my wedding, I had absolutely no interest in having him walk me down the aisle. I really enjoyed it and I was completely focused on my husband.

    Post # 6
    Member
    269 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    I voted go with your gut. It’s not fair of your mom to guilt u into what she wants for u – u are entitled to a relationship with your dad and I think it’s a great idea for them to walk u together. If you’re really worried though, could dad talk u half the way and step-dad the rest?

    Post # 7
    Member
    46606 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    you guys broke up 25 years ago. Get over it for ONE DAY. Please.


    That is exactly what I would tell her!

    I would thank her for her input then tell her that this decision is not about her, your stepdad, or bio Dad. This is about you and what would make yoou happy.


    Post # 8
    Member
    9916 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Your mom is not the one who has to get over anything, or be consulted.  It’s your step-dad.  Is he okay with the idea of both of them walking you down the aisle?

    Post # 9
    Member
    187 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    @greymonkey42:  +1 to the aisle walking suggestion.  Have your dad walk you part way, showing that he was in your life at the beginning, then have your stepdad take over, showing that he came into your life later.

    Post # 10
    Member
    404 posts
    Helper bee

    I went to a wedding a few weeks ago where both step and bio father walked the bride down the isle, everyone thought it was lovely! Just make sure your isle is wide enough.

    Your Dad is clearly fine with the idea of both of them walking you, have you talked to your step dad without your mother being there? See how he actually feels about it aside from your mothers opinion. If they’re both great with it, then your mom just has to deal as it would be her issue.

    Failing that, walk yourself. A part of me would lean towards having your dad walk you if your step dad’s awkward, simply because he wouldn’t be causing you drama. (Though I’m well aware that’s pretty harsh of me)

    Post # 12
    Member
    629 posts
    Busy bee

    @delovely13: “But I also have started doubting myself. Does she have a point? Am I the one that’s wrong here?”

     

    You’re never wrong about your own emotions on the situation. First off, I’m proud of your bio dad for being grown up enough to realize that both fathers should walk you down, and not think he’s the only one because he shares some DNA.

     

    I think there’s no problem with having them both walk you, but if it’s an issue, you don’t need them walking you at the same time. At my SO’s sister’s wedding, their dad walked her the first half, and then their mom and step father walked her up to the chuppah. You could have both dads split, and if the “host” thing is an issue, have bio dad walk you first, and then step dad walk you up to the altar and officially do the giving away.

     

    Post # 13
    Member
    9139 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @delovely13:  I think your idea of having them both walk you down the aisle is amazing and kudos to your dad for being an adult about it.  Your mom should support your decision and be glad that you found some way to include your stepdad.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1041 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I’m not in your situation, but so I can’t begin to speculate how everyone’s feelings would play out.  But In My Humble Opinion, I think your step-dad should do it.  He raised you.  He’s the one that’s always been there.  While I don’t think he’d be upset with you for long if you have both of them do it, I just personally wouldn’t put your stepdad and biodad on the same footing.  While they’re both important, I feel that one that’s been there 365 days a year whenever you needed him…that’s the one that gets the honors.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1791 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @julies1949:  I was thinking the same thing!

     

    Honestly, I would have both of them walking me down the isle. IF your mom cant handle that, then she needs to cool it. It is your wedding, so you do what you want.

    I understand wanting the step parent in there, and people thinking he should do it. Have you asked your dad and step dad about it? you may want to ask what they think about it. If they BOTH arent cool with it, then I would walk myself.

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    8823 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @delovely13: put all family drama aside.

      close your eyes, picture yourself on your wedding day walking down the aisle.

    who is walking you down?

    is it your mom? dad? step-dad? combination? alone?

    Whatever you picture is what it should be.

    The topic ‘two dads. fight with mom. DRAMA. (long. sorry).’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors