Post # 1
I recently became engaged to the man of my dreams on 4/28/10! We’ve been dating 5 years, and I could not be happier!! Now that the celebrating of the engagement is over, we are beginning the wedding planning. It’s more stressful than it should be because of my family.
When I was 4 years old, my mom and biological father divorced, and my biological father was not a part of my life until I was 18 and decided to get to know him. When I was 10, my mom remarried my step-father, who treated me as one of his own children and raised me. He did not have any kids of his own, nor will he ever have kids. My mom and my step-father were married until I was a sophomore in college, when they divorced. Even though my mom and my step-father are no longer together, I am still in contact with him because I do consider him my “dad”- and he considers me his daughter. However, I also began getting to know my biological father when I was 18. Although he didn’t “raise” me- we have created a bond over the past six years that is like no other.
I am now 24 years old (25 in a couple of months), and basically I have a relationship with both my bio-dad and step-dad. I could not choose one or the other to walk me down the aisle. My bio-dad created me and we do have a relationship, however my step-dad raised me and we also have a relationship.
Who should I choose to walk me down the aisle?
Post # 3
what about having one walk you half way and then the other meeting you mid aisle? I’ve seen that done before and thought it was lovely! Best of luck!
Post # 4
what a joy to have two fathers!! I think you should definitely celebrate that!! let them both walk you down! how special!!!!!
Post # 5
This is my situation too. I am going to ask both of them to walk me down the aisle. I don’t see anything wrong with that. Both men are important in my life…more so my step dad. I know my dad may not come to my wedding when he knows I am going to have my step dad do it too. But my step dad means too much to me and has done more than my real father has, so I know that not asking my step dad is not an option (totally going to ask him this Father’s Day!). I hope you decide to do what feels right to you whether it is 1 or both of your fathers or having them switch or neither.
Post # 6
Neither or other… not because these men mean nothing to you, but because there’s no easy answer here and it might cause drama to choose one over the other. How is your relationship with your mom? It sounds like she’s been a part of your life the whole time, but it’s not really clear from what you’ve said. That might be something you want to think about, since it would probably bypass the possible drama of choosing one father figure over another. Either that or walk solo. I’m planning on walking with my fiance, so you could do that as well.
Post # 7
I agree with Beth1125. I’ve been to two weddings where the stepfather walked the bride halfway, then “handed her off” to her biological father who walked her the rest of the way. It was very sweet. Or, if they get along okay, you could have one on either side of you. Since it sounds likes you’re close to both, I think it would be so nice to honor both.
Post # 8
Thank you all for your honest replies! It really means a lot to me to have all of these opinions and viewpoints. I will keep you posted with what happens!
Post # 9
I’m really glad I read this!! I have almost the same situation for my wedding…I haven’t told my bio dad that my step dad will also walk me down the isle. I’ve never heard or seen one walk half way and the other the rest of the way…that sounds very nice, plus I think it will create less drama than having both walk the whole way down together.
My dad is the type who thinks because he’s my bio dad that he is entitled…even though he’s not dropping a dime on us or the wedding.
I don’t wanna say I’m glad someone else has the same issue, but it makes me feel relieved and more comfortable knowing I’m not the only one.
@Luckyinlove22 Your post has really helped me too! Thanks!
Post # 10
I would choose the one who didn’t run away because that’s what spells fatherhood to me.
Post # 11
I had a similar situation when I was married before. I chose to have my mom walk me down. When I, hopefully, get married again, I will probably walk by myself.
Good luck and congratulations!
p.s. I would do both or neither
Post # 12
I’m in this situation, too, and have chosen an option other than the one listed above. We’ll b walking down the aisle together. We’re doing this for lots of reasons. First, I don’t want to choose on and hurt anyone’s feelings. I also know I’d feel awkward walking between two guys who don’t really lik one another- and I’d rather minimize awkwardness. I’ve been living away from home for several years, anyhow, so it seems silly to me. Also, neither I nor my Fiance love the symbolism of “giving the bride away”- I’m not leaving my family, and I don’t belong to anyone (so how do they give me away?). For us, it is much more meaningul to walk into this big new stage of life together.
I say all o this not to insult or berate brides whose dad’s walk them down the aisle. Walking with your dad or dads is lovely if it is what would make you mot comfortable, and if it is an expression of your love and care for one another. I’m just throwing another option out there, because having my dads walk me down the aisle just wasn’t a viable option.