- 4 years ago
- Wedding: August 2015
My fiance and I got engaged in March and I’m in the process of trying to pick a date for our wedding.
My fiance’s sister also got engaged, but in October, and decided that her wedding date will be in July, 2015. She decided not to do it this coming summer because her and my fiance’s brother is also getting married (yay for everyone getting married at the same time!)
She announced her date about a week before we got engaged.
We have always gotten along and there has never been any drama between us. She used to live in the same city as us so we got to spend lots of time together, but they have since moved back to their hometown which is about an 8 hour drive from us. All of her / my fiance’s family lives there.
A couple of weeks ago we were texting back and forth talking about our guest lists, and she asked if I had picked a date. I said that I was thinking either a full month before hers in June 2015 or a full month after hers in August 2015. Like most, I would like to have a wedding in the summer when the weather is nice. We have snowy/rainy falls and springs here and long, cold winters. Plus, my fiance comes from a farm family so we have to work around their seeding and harvest times…so no weddings can happen in May/first half of June and none in late August-October.
Well, to my surprise she basically told me she didn’t want me to have my wedding in the same summer as hers. She said that July is pretty much the only month in the summer to have a wedding because of farming, and that she decided to wait so that she wouldn’t share the summer with her brothers wedding. She also said she doesn’t want her family members to have to choose which wedding to attend if they are so close together…and that she wants to go on her honeymoon sometime aftet their wedding.
I guess I just feel hurt that she has essentially said that she has dibs on the entire summer in 2015. If I had been the one to get engaged first, I would have never said this to her. Summer is wedding season! More than one wedding happens per summer! Plus I was making sure to ask venues for dates that were a full four weeks before or after, not like a week or two weeks later. I thought a full month in either direction was more than fair.
Waiting 28 months to get married is a long time, and that’s essentially what she has told me to do. Wait 2.5 years. My fiance and I don’t want to wait that long. A destination wedding is not really an option for us because we both have very large families (many people don’t travel and don’t even have passports) and would like to celebrate our day with everyone.
I understand where she’s coming from about the family potentially having to choose which wedding to attend, but in reality, they will attend hers because they all live where she lives. In order to come to ours, they would have to drive 8 hours to attend as well as find accomodation. So if they’re going to choose, it’s pretty likely they will choose hers.
What should I do? Sit her down and tell her that we are going to plan our wedding for summer 2015 whether she likes it or not and ask for her blessing / risk a blowout? Wait until summer 2016? Suck it up and have a winter wedding?
Any advice is appreciated! Thanks!