(Closed) Two gifts necessary?

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
1736 posts
Bumble bee

I would think that regardless of the timing, you should give a gift for the shower and a gift for the wedding. I remember a post a couple weeks ago about timing and a lot of Bees mentioned that having a shower the same week as your wedding would result in many people forgoing a wedding present (case and point right here!) It does seem strange, but since you would have given separate gifts at the shower had it been a month earlier, I would suggest doing the same in this case.

Post # 5
786 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Definitely strange timing, but yea, the right thing to do would be to purchase 2 separate gifts (even though I’m sure many people will only buy one…but they should get 2). 

Post # 6
9551 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I agree. It’s weird. But if you go to both the shower and wedding then there should be a gift for each.

Post # 7
3175 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yes, you should purchase 2 gifts. However, as far as I’ve read of “gift giving etiquette”, you split up the total amount you’d like to spend between the gifts. So, say you’d like to spend $150 on a couple for their wedding, you might buy a $50 shower gift, and write a check for $100 at the wedding. If you didn’t attend the shower, you’d just write the check for $150 at the wedding. (And, if you attended any other prewedding events where you gave a gift, you would still include that in the $150 total).

Post # 8
595 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I think its weird on two levels… (1)that the shower is the day before the wedding and (2) being that she is having a shower for her second wedding.  This will be my secind wedding and I will not be having another shower.

Post # 11
2692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I don’t think the timing is too weird.  And I don’t see anything wrong that it’s her second shower (it’s a new marriage so why not have a shower).  BUT I don’t get that logic that you have to give 2 gifts.  A gift is optional.  If you don’t have the money, get  1 gift.  Or like a pp said, split up the cost and get 2 gifts with the money you would spend on the wedding gift. 

In our families, we don’t usually do 2 gifts.  You get 1 gift.  We don’t expect people to shell out $$ for a bridal shower gift and then a wedding gift as well.  

Post # 12
692 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Yea it’s a bit odd, but here’s your solution: don’t go to the shower and just give her a wedding gift. Only go if you plan on giving a shower gift too.

I bet you’re not the only one with this “huh?” look on your face.  



It’s my first marriage, I think showers are weird, and I am not having one. 

Post # 13
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

If you go to the shower, you really should bring a gift to the shower. If you can only give one gift, I’d give it then and give a card at the wedding, but another gift would be best. Maybe you can coordinate them. 

I also agree with PPs that this being her second wedding is irrelevant. The timing is probably intended to make sure people can come to both; perhaps a lot of her close friends and family must travel and this makes it easier for them. Annoying, but understandable.

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