Post # 1
I have not officially asked my bridesmaids yet. However, I am having a bit of a decision debacle. My future sister-in-law has been a fantastic help since my fiancé and I have gotten engaged. She has attended countless bridal expos and listened to every detail I have thought of and re-thought of for my wedding. I would like to ask her to be my matron of honor. However, I would also like one of my closest friends to do the job as well because she too has helped me shop, create, and plan everything thus far. My best friend from college is naturally who I would pick to be my maid of honor, but she lives over 8 hours away and I don’t know how much hands-on help she will really be. My fiancé is fine with two, but not three people to do the “honor” for me. He said he can have two best men. What do I do? I have several a few months before I plan on asking the bridal party, but I want to make sure I am not doing things completely unnecessary and I also don’t want the girl who is not given the “honor” to feel slighted.
Post # 3
I wouldn’t pick your maid of honor based on how much help she has or is going to give you. The only thing that is “expected” of the maid of honor is to throw the bridal shower, and even that isn’t always the case these days. Of course there’s the speech too, which I think would be kind of weird if you had two girls step up to speak. None of the girls should feel slighted if they’re not the matron of honor, because if they are your true friends then they are just there to support you and not to “share in the spotlight” so to speak.
Perhaps you can ask all of them to be bridesmaids but wait a while longer before you decide who the matron (or matrons) of honor will be – maybe 6 months before the wedding. You’d be surprised how friendships can change in the matter of a few months, and you’ll want the freedom of picking the “honor” based on who has been your biggest support all through the whole process until that point.
Post # 4
not everyone has to be Maid/Matron of Honor – and yes i think having more than two (and only if its a maid and a matron of honor) is appropriate – because then it doesnt really make it that special.
you could just have no Maid/Matron of Honor – just have all BM’s or call them all “women of distinction”
theres no rules to who you pick. you arent “obligated” to do anything – i would take the advice above and ask them all to be BM’s then decide closer to the date who is Maid/Matron of Honor or not.
Post # 5
I have two MOH’s and neither one of them actually live anywhere near me. When they asked if there was anything they could do to help I definitely took them up on their offers. However I don’t think that you should base it off who is doing the most work or the person helping you plan the majority of your wedding. At the end of the day whoever is up there with you should be the person you look back on and say yes, they are there for me always and I’m glad I hade them there for support.
Post # 6
I am not having any Maid/Matron of Honor for this exact reason. I have a few friends that are always helping me and I dont want any of them to get hurt feelings. Especially since I was Maid/Matron of Honor in two of my bridesmaid weddings. I feel that they should both be Maid/Matron of Honor but i dont want to hurt anyone else. its just easier this way