Post # 1
After a major blowup with my fiance last night about the wedding ceremony, and how he said my idea for our ‘write-your-own-ceremony” were good but secretly hated them adn waited until we met with the officiant/good friend to make snarky remarks.
I’ve decided to say – Oh FUCK IT.
I’m SO SICK of wedding planing. I seriously don’t understand how some other bees here love it. Like they want to become a wedding planner. What the hell am I doign wrong?
I’m 60 days out… I don’t have anything major left (rehearsal dinner is decided, not booked though and favors are in the midst of being ordered?)
But the list of small detailed, important details is a mile long. I have a list of phone calls I should make to get things done. It’s a fucking mile long and I really.. don’t want ot do any of it.
I have no help – my mother bitches I don’t ask her to do anything, but I give her a small task and she can’t be bothered, my fiance is becoming critical of everythign in a passive aggressive way and my girls are scattered across the country (rightfully) busy with their own lives.
So it’s me… and it’s hard being alone, making the decisions everyone else pulls apart…
All I want to do is to make everyone else happy to leave me the #&^%&^#@% alone. I’ll be happy if they all just let me be.
Anyone else hit this point? If so, what did you do?
Post # 3
@dragonlover: I’m not engaged yet but we’ve already decided on a small DW/elopement because of the stress I KNOW I would feel planning a wedding. Honestly, if I was in your situation & my Fiance was critiquing my decisions, I would hand over the list for a week & he’ll be singing a different tune very soon! Let him make the decisions for a few things.
Post # 4
I don’t love it either and there have been moments where I wanted to call the whole thing off and just go to thecourthouse but whenever I was ready to call it quits someone near and dear would do or say something to make it better. Maybe when your fi sees your frustration he will offer some help??
Post # 5
I am right there with you. Luckily we are a little over 3 weeks out. My fiance to decided last week to tell me how he hated everything and doesn’t understand why we are doing the “big” wedding. He’s the one who gave me a 100 person guest list just on his own… So uhhh, really? But we have agreed we are to far in now (obviously, our RSVP’s are back… these people are coming) and the “big wedding” is what I wanted, even though planning it SUCKS. Another peeve, I had to hunt down 22 families because apparantly the people we know don’t know how to RSVP and its 2 weeks out and multiple people can’t get us a straight answer.. how awful would it be to univite them?? (we aren’t doing that but its tempting).
Post # 6
@dragonlover: I completely understand how you feel. I hit that point about 1 month ago when I realized how close the wedding was getting. I wanted to give up. But luckily I have a lot of support from my family and my Fiance so I was able to become focused on what reallly matters which is that the day will be beautiful even if a few details don’t work out.
Post # 7
I think the worst thing about wedding planning (or anything) is when people don’t act like a team. (Like wanting to invite 100 people and then complaining about having a big wedding like they weren’t involved in the decision.) I can deal with any amount of wedding stress as long as I feel like my Fiance and I are on the same side. But if he were to make it adversarial, I would lose it.
Post # 8
Yup 8 months left and I am done lol. I am thinking of just having the ceremony at our location and going to a restaurant to have dinner with about 50 people. I cant stand the planning. Its not fun anymore.
Post # 9
@geekspice: Yup I was there. I wanted a Destination Wedding mainly because I didn’t want his mother to be able to attend (call me what you want, you DONT know this woman!) and he wanted a big wedding so his family COULD attend. You see where that goes. So I start planning, I don’t get help from him. I don’t get help from my BMs (they don’t live that far away but they are very busy) and my mother criticizes every decision I make (she is having issues with the marriage). I am all alone. I got a Wedding Party to help but she wasn’t much help. She doesn’t like my ideas because they are outside the box (not too outside the box just no glitz and glam for an outdoor wedding) but she says crap like “it’s your wedding”. I’m tired of hearing tha BS. Fiance doesn’t help and when I make him help he complains the entire time. That thought in youro head to just run and go to the courthouse runs thru every bride’s mind when they are at the point of being stressed to the max. I think about it everyday and I am 1 month away from my wedding.
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2013 - Creek club at ion, SC
Im not saying wedding planning is an easy job but the best think about it (I imagine) is you dont get the emotional stress part from your family. Its not so much of a emotional rollercoaster. This is what is really getting me about mine, dealing wih difficult people im emotionally attached to.
Post # 11
That is the reason why I hired a wedding planner because I was stress out and I dont have any help either. My Fiance is away in Afghainstan and wants a big wedding but not here to help plan. So I got so frustrated I told him if I dont have a wedding planner we will elope and I know you dont want that.
Long story short, I got my wedding planner but now we have to wait due to his extended tour but the wedding planner has secure all of the major venues and vendors.
I hope you feel better about the planning process when you get some help.
EDIT: I found a wedding planner that is ex-military and male who has been very supportive as well as being a big help with the planning process. I feel so blessed because he and his wife are so nice all they want to do is make sure we have a good experience.
Post # 12
I’m in a love/hate relationship with wedding planning right now. 74 days out, and sometimes I’m SO EXCITED to do wedding things, and other times I’m dragging my feet and just praying for it to be over!
Post # 13
2mo before my wedding I totally felt like you do right now. I was completely over planning, feeling very much like everything was on my shoulders, and felt like I could go into a meltdown at any second. Things will get better though I promise! After my wedding I wrote this http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/dear-stressed-out-brides#axzz2NRHnhrWW cause I remembered so vividly how horrible planning was LOL.
My advice – Make a detailed list of everything you have left, and when it NEEDS to be done by. Split that up into weeks, and focus on choosing one task to complete every day. So if you need to call your florist tomorrow, call your florist, then you’re done for the day, no more wedding talk! Also, have a “wedding free” day with your Fiance, go on a romantic date and try to get away from the stress for awhile.
Not everything needs to be perfect as you envision it now. It will be perfect that day no matter what, because you’re starting your married life with your love. Good luck! <3
Post # 14
Ya i dont get the people that love it. I had a girl say that its so easy, she feels like she is missing something. And then there is me that doesn’t want to be bothered anymore because i just want it done.
Legit, I am so excited to BE married, not to have a wedding. So maybe just try and focus on that. And talk to your Fiance about his attitude in a non-confrontational manner.