- 3 months ago
Unsure what I am looking for here… maybe advice?
1.) I wanted a no-kids wedding. My FI (now DH) wanted kids there as he has a lot of younger cousins. In the end, we agreed on family members only and made that clear to everyone we invited. Nobody had an issue with it until now…
The day of the wedding, I had a close friend of mine call me in a panic. She had travelled to the city (where the wedding was taking place) the night before with her DH and DD (4 years old). My friend’s husband’s family lives in the city where my wedding took place and his parents were supposed to watch their daughter for the night. Well, friend’s husband’s father ended up having a minor heart attack that morning so his parents were no longer able to watch their daughter as they were both in the hospital. My friend apologized profusely for being so rude, but asked if she could bring along her daughter. If not, she said she would just be there and her her husband would stay at the hotel with their daughter. I talked to my FI and since we had a family cancel on coming to the wedding at the last minute, we decided we would make an exception and allow her to bring her daughter so the whole family could celebrate with us.
Nobody seemed to mind this until I got back to work after our honeymoon. My boss made a comment about “well, I didn’t bring my kids because I knew it was family only but then I saw another couple with their daughter there!” I apologized and explained the situation and last-minute decision, but he was still very perturbed and called it unfair since he had to find a babysitter for his two kids. I again apologized but he still seems annoyed and distant from associating with me unless needed. Is there anything I can do about this? I realize I wasn’t exactly in the right by going against our initial family-kids-only plan.
2.) My parents are divorced and both dating other people. My DH, my brothers, and I spend a lot of time with my mom’s boyfriend’s adult son. He comes to all of our family events and DH and I even hang out with him outside of family events. Because of this, we invited him to our wedding! It was great to have him there.
My dad’s girlfriend has two adult-aged kids as well. DH and I have only met them once very briefly. (Tbh, I don’t even remember their names… that’s how short our interaction was.) Also, tbh, it didn’t even cross my mind to invite them. My dad’s girlfriend confronted me at the wedding and now several times since how it was so rude that I invited the boyfriend’s son but not her two kids. I apologized and explained that we spend a lot of time with the son whereas we have only met her children once. She responded, “well, if I would have known he was coming I would have just brought them without even asking you! Next time I know he is going to be somewhere, you can be sure that my kids will be with me too!” (She’s a real peach.) Anyway, despite apologizing on several occassions, she keeps finding reasons to bring it up. Again, maybe I wasn’t totally in the right here and should have thought about inviting them, but is there anything I can do about it now?
So Bees, is there anything I can do/say about this? Or is what’s done, done? I realize I can’t go back and change anything… so maybe it’s more of a matter of is there something I can say to these people to make it “better?”