Two post-wedding comments that I'm not sure how to respond to…

posted 2 months ago in Guests
Post # 16
Member
9694 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

“I know you’re not making my friend’s dad’s heart attack about you right now.” 

Confused semi-smile, and depart. 

These people deserve to be shamed for their behavior. Maybe not a great plan with your boss, but wtf. Your dad’s gf can eat rocks. She sounds like a nasty piece of work. I can understand her being slightly out out but she knows you don’t know her kids. Another person who isn’t grown up enough to realize everything isn’t about her. 

Post # 17
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Their family member had a heart attack. Your boss is a complete, and totally clueless, jerk. Obviously the situation was different from his own. Jeez. As for the girlfriend, you’re also in the right. No one has the right to dictate the guest list for someone else’s event. The girlfriend didn’t pay anything for the venue or catering, she was not hosting, and the event was not held in her honor. The fact that she’s threatening to override your wishes in the future is absolutely ridiculous. You shouldn’t have to invite people to your wedding if you don’t even know their names! You have no relationship to them!

Post # 18
Member
22 posts
Newbee

As far as the son thing goes, you invited your friend. Period. And your boss will either get over it or not. 

Post # 19
Member
1807 posts
Buzzing bee

You did nothing wrong. Your friends’ daughter was there because of emergency circumstances. You explained that, and that is all you can do. Your boss is an asshole to still act so snotty about it. Since he is your boss you may have to act sorry about it if it ever comes up again. Much as you would like to tell him to stick it up his butt; it is just how you have to treat a boss. 

Your dad’s girlfriend is also an asshole. Apologize once even if you don’t mean it. She is a real beeyotch to say she will bring her kids without telling you. Just because the day is past, if she starts talking about it again you could say something like forget it, it is over. Let her look like the snot she is.

Post # 20
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2018

You haven’t done anything wrong at all! It was your day and you’re perfectly entitled to invited whomever you please. Don’t let them upset you. 🙂

Post # 21
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2017

underblueskies1016 :  What is done is done, and I think you handled everything the best your could given the circumstances.

1. I think your boss is out of line. He had to find a babysitter – big deal. He probably wasn’t an OOT guest and he didn’t have to worry about a serious health condition. You did nothing wrong. 

2. That is a tough situation. I believe the couple can invite who they want and especially prioritize people they are closer to. Also, we’re talking about adults, not kids. You shouldn’t feel obligated to invite adults you barely know. I understand why she’s upset and how she can interpret this as being unfair, but confronting you about it on your wedding day and threatening you with backlash is very rude.

There’s nothing more to be said or done. You acknowledged their feelings by apologizing to them and explaining the situation. Reasonable adults should be able to understand that you meant no harm and had to deal with delicate situations. 

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