Post # 1
My father passed away suddenly three years ago. Ever since he passed I felt like if I got married, I would walk down the aisle alone. I didn’t want anyone to replace him. I still feel that way. But am I crazy to think I can do it alone? If I have someone there are two options, my Dad’s identical twin and my Stepfather. Neither option feels right though. Some friends tell me that I might be super nervous and need someone with me though. Thoughts?
Secondarily, are there any ideas for incorporating my Dad in the ceremony and/or reception? I used to share a love of U2 with my Dad. I played a U2 song at his funeral. I could play a U2 song and dance with my Uncles in place of my Dad? Other ideas are welcome.
Post # 3
first off, i am sorry about your loss. i know how you feel, my dad passed away 10 years ago. why don’t you have your mom walk you down? or a sibling? that way it doesn’t feel like it is being replaced.
also, attach a picture of him to your bouquet to include him in the wedding 🙂
hope that helps a little
Post # 4
@TaraMM11: First, I am sorry for your loss. It must be very difficult planning a day without your Dad.
If you are nervous about walking alone, you don’t have to walk the whole way alone. You could walk halfway and then your Mom / Uncle / Stepfather could meet you. That would signify that there should be someone else there.
Your first dance idea sounds really nice, and a good tribute to him.
Post # 5
I second the idea of having your mother walk you down – you could possibly even do the father/daughter dance with her if you’re comfortable with that, because I’m sure this is a day where she would be sad your father couldn’t be there to see it.
Post # 6
I have lost my Dad too, sorry for your loss. I danced to a song that I would have danced to with my Dad and had it announced that it was in honour of my Dad, danced with my Brother and my Brother in law to Stealing Cinderella by Chuck Wicks. My 17 year old son walked me down the aisle and I made my own brooch bouquet which I attached my great grandmothers cameo locket that held a picture of both my parents (both have pased) from thier wedding day. We had a candle lit at the entrance in memory of my parents and my wife’s brother, we held a seat for each of them in the front row with a photo of them each.
Post # 7
My dad passed away 16 years ago so my mom is walking me down the aisle. I’m planning on pinning a picture of him in a locket to my bouquet, mentioning him in our wedding program along with other family members that have passed away, and having a candle lit at the reception for all those who have passed away.
Post # 8
Thanks all. My Mom and Dad were divorced when I was 5 and my Mom and Dad did not get along AT ALL until well into my adulthood. When I think of the two of them (Mom and Dad) I have to seperate them as two very distint and seperate parents rather than a collective unit. Anytime they were together it was toxic for me and my siblings so I came to think of them as very seperate units. So, walking with my Mother feels like I am dismissing my father. I suppose I’m somewhat traditional in that I wanted my Dad to walk me down the aisle rather than my Mom. I figured I could find other ways to include/honor my Mom. The walk down the aisle just seems like something so intrinsically tied to the father. If I had a brother, I might consider him, but I only have two sisters. Thus my three options are 1) Stepfather (who got along with my Dad but entered my life when I was already an adult) 2) my Dad’s identical twin who is still not him, but the closest I can get to him (note that this would hurt my Mom and cause lots of drama becasue I’d not choose my Stepdad) – or – 3) Walk alone. But will my nerves handle it?
Post # 9
First, I’m sorry for your loss. My father passed away 14 years ago and what to do in regards to the wedding has always been something I knew I’d have to deal with. My stepdad is walking me down the aisle, but that’s somehting I am comfortable with. He’s been in my life for a long time and he always told me he never intended, or could even begin to try, to replace my father.
To incoorperate my dad, I looked at Pinterest for ideas. We planned of having an empty seat with pictures in it, a table with photos (FH recently lost his mom as well) with a framed “in memory” poem and I planned to tie my father’s wedding band to my bouquet.
I’ve seen something on the Bee and on Pinterest of shoes that have little photos attached to the back so your dad will be “walking” with you down the aisle. I can’t remember the thread I found it in, so I’ll post this picture I found on Google.
Post # 10
I walked alone down the aisle because my father had passed away long before I married. I am nervous with too much attention however I did it and glad I did. Like you, if my father couldn’t be there to walk me down the aisle, there was no one else I wanted to do it.
You said your friends are telling you you will be too nervous. What do you think? It sounds like this is what you want to do.
Post # 11
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
One of my good friend’s lost her father in a tragic accident during her childhood and it’s still a major emotional thing in her family (perhaps unhealthily so… and she deal with a lot of anxiety and depression still from it… but that’s another story). Anyway, she walked down the aisle alone and had a white rose on the altar to honor her father. The symbolism of the rose was noted in the program.
Post # 12
I am so sorry for your loss. I also wanted to walk down the aisle alone. However, my family sat me down and said look, its not that anyone is giving you away. We know you are independent and can do it yourself. But it just shows that you have people who have your back if anything is ever to happen. Any choice you make will be the right one, so just do what is in your heart. Your dad will be watching over you on that day! I am sure he will be so proud! :o)
Post # 13
I’m sorry for your loss. My Dad died three years ago this coming February and I miss him every day.
It’s actually quite traditional to have your Mom walk you down the aisle when the father has passed. A friend of mine whose father died a couple of months before the wedding had her mother give her away and it was lovely. However, if walking alone feels more appropriate to you, then do that. If you get nervous, just remember that the love of your life is waiting for you.
All the best to you.
Post # 14
My deepest condolences on the loss of your father. I’m sure you must miss him especially deely at a time like this.
You also have a fourth option: you could walk in together with your groom. Nowadays people don’t realize how old of a tradition that actually is (thousands of years). It’s also a beautiful way to symbolize you and your spouse starting your journey together through life by walking with one another down the aisle.
Post # 15
Ilost my dad just over 5 years ago. My mom is walking me down the aisle and I am saving him a seat at the front where I will be placing a red rose. He gave me a locket right before he died that I will be putting in my bouquet.
Post # 15
i know this is from like 2 Years ago but I am in the Same boat. My dad passed away about 4 years ago and ever since then I always pictured I would walk alone. I will be putting lockets with his pictures on the backs of my heels also. I really don’t want a “stand in”. I feel like that is meant for your father…but at same time I’m nervous about walking alone…