(Closed) Two questions of etiquette~

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4947 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@limekitty:   If someone asks about your wedding it is nice to answer, but I wouldn’t go on at length, whether the person is invited or not.  

As far as e-vites, I’m sorry, I cannot wrap my head around that one.  A wedding is the recognition and celebration of a major life event.  To me, it warrants a written invitation.  

Just my two cents….  🙂  

Post # 4
46607 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999


1. If someone who is not invited asks about the wedding, I would answer, but I would keep it short. I would also endeavor to slip in the fact that we were having an intimate wedding and would not be able to invite everyone we would like to have with us on that day.

2. STD’s are not necessary for every wedding, They are useful in situations where people have to travel, or if you are scheduling the wedding on a high demand day, like a long weekend.

I would not use e-vites. I see them as being just a little too casual for a wedding, especially one at the Ritz Carlton. I do think however, that you could give your guests the option of using the rsvp card, or using email or your website to respond.

Post # 5
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@limekitty:  If I were you, I’d cool it with talking about the wedding to people that you don’t plan to invite.  You could end up in an awkward position where they assume they are invited or end up hurt that they weren’t. 

Honestly, I don’t think save the dates are necessary. Invitations should be sent early enough for people to be able to plan to attend.  Plus, if you’re doing an online invitation, I don’t see why you couldn’t do an on-line save the date – even if it’s just an email. 

Post # 6
2517 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@limekitty:  I’ll tell anyone who asks about the wedding.  And we’re doing a save the date video.  It’s a spoofy little bit, kind of like a bad informercial.  It’s goofy and fun and totally us.  We wanted to get our save the dates out next month, so people have a full year to plan/save for flights.  We’re going to email it to everyone.  My Fi wants to create our own youtube channel, so wedding day videos can be uploaded after the fact.  So he wants to upload this to it (and our wedding website.)  I’m ok with whatever.  I do think we’re going to put together a blooper reel too.  The first time he made the video I didn’t realize that’s what he was doing.  So our coversation was pretty funny (and when he says ‘You have to say something, its a video” I responded with “No I don’t!” *pause* “I love T.” and then we both start laughing.) 

Post # 7
10289 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

If they ask, I’d just say that the wedding is going to be a small and intimate affair.  Yes, I do think it’s inconsiderate to talk about the details of an event in front of people who are not invited. 

There is nothing wrong with evites in theory, but invitations generally match the formality of an event.  So personally,  I would not do evites for a wedding at the Ritz.  STDs are never necessary or required according to etiquette and in fact some sources prefer a personalized note or call with the information in lieu of mass mailed cards.  

Post # 8
519 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I would keep wedding details on the low side when dealing with people who are not invited, maybe just drop that you are having a very small wedding. It is really a hard one because some people will just be curious about your wedding and not care if they are invited while others will be pumping themselves up by talking details with you.

I think it is great to do online invites as long as everyone has a computer! If you are going that route I think it would be better to also send out the STD in a similar fashion, if you send them through email it’d be a good idea to get a read reciept back on each one so you know who may not have gotten it correctly. 

Post # 9
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

1.)  I’m guilty of this.  It’s hard not to talk about your wedding when you’re so excited and people have asked.  Keep the details to a minimum though and remind them that it’s a small wedding.

2.) I agree with previous posters that e-vites and a wedding at the Ritz don’t fit. I would do email save the dates and formal mailed invites. 

Post # 10
205 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I do think it’s weird to do an e-vite for a wedding at the Ritz Carlton. If it was a backyard affair with a few people that’s one thing. In my opinion, the fanciness of the Ritz Carlton warrants a proper invitation.

Post # 11
4040 posts
Honey bee

I know someone, who sent e-vites to the younger generation of guests, to save money, but the bachelor party was in Vegas. Priorities?

 (E-Save the Dates are fine. You can easily send out a lot of information).

Post # 13
277 posts
Helper bee

@limekitty:  People won’t enjoy paper? I love paper invites and I’m young. Maybe email your friends and remind them to check their mail if that is really a concern. 

Post # 14
55 posts
Worker bee

[content moderated for trolling]


Post # 15
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m doing evites. My STD were bookmarks and for me while I like paper invitations I normally just save the info on my calendar and throw it out. If your friends don’t check their email often then I say get paper invitations since that would seem to be your main source of communication. My friends check their email regularly and my Fiance family is mostly in Europe so for us it was more efficient to set up a website and post updates on our website along with e-vites. For my mom’a friends who aren’t too tech savvy word of mouth will do. 

Post # 16
11271 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@limekitty:  i agree with pp.  you should have paper invites to a wedding at the ritz.

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