- 6 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
Ah yes.. the two “receptions” debacle. Apologies in advance for the long post!
My Fiance and I both had very different ideas for how we wanted our wedding. I wanted a small intimate wedding with our immediate families, grandparents, and closest friends followed by a reception at a historic venue close to my hometown. While living in NYC away from my immediate family, my uncle and his gf and my cousins included me in all of their family outings, celebrations, etc., so I also will be inviting them. My Fiance wanted a large outdoor barbeque party at my parents’ home. After many attempts to compromise (on both sides), I decided it was OUR weekend and we should both have the wedding weekend of our dreams. So we’re doing both!
The plan is to have an afternoon ceremony on Friday followed by a dinner and dancing reception at a beautiful venue, and keep the guest list to around 80-90 people, half family, half friends. The next day we are having a big blow out party (225 people invited) hosted at my parents house (catered, with a tent/tables, music, lawn games, etc.) and inviting our extended families, family friends, etc. I’m going to have two different invitations (one formal invitation for the Friday festivities that includes a card invite to Saturday, and one more casual/pretty invitation to “celebrate the marriage of…”, leaving out the word “reception” for the Saturday party). I’ll also note that the bride and groom were married in an intimate ceremony the day prior on those invites. My mother said there were people (specifically, her sister/my aunt) who might want to come to the ceremony anyway, so I said if anyone specifically asked to come via word of mouth, that they were welcome to come. I initially was going to invite everyone to the ceremony but all etiquette rules screamed N-O!, and to formally invite people to the ceremony who are also invited to the reception directly afterward.
My question lies in… do you think, etiquette wise, I have covered myself? Is there anything I should be doing differently? Should I let the invitations speak for themselves or start discussing our plans if extended family members ask?
I realize there might be a few grumbles from family members in my extended family, but I feel I have taken every step to be accommodating while also giving us the wedding weekend we both envisioned.