(Closed) Two steps forward…. fall flat on my face… Sad/Long

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
259 posts
Helper bee

I’m so sorry πŸ™ *hugs*

It hurts A LOT, esp when your feelings are still so genuine and unchanged. I hope you can get through this, and you can remain friends. 

 

Post # 18
Member
17 posts
Newbee

So sorry. I can’t imagine how you must feel. We are all here to you support you!

Post # 19
Member
318 posts
Helper bee

How hurtful I can’t even imagine how you are feeling right now πŸ™ I’m sorry you are going through this maybe a little time apart is exactly what you guys need right now in order to put things in perspective. Give him a little space for the time being pehaps he will come around.

Post # 20
Member
603 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

stay strong!! if he is not the one for you, that means there is another one. try to protect your heart as well as you can!!

Post # 21
Member
3338 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

That is truly a horrible thing to hear when you love somebody.

Though it is extremely hard, I would accept his gift of honesty and do your best to move on from him.  Waiting for it to “blow over” will cause you more heartache down the line.

Hugs!!

Post # 23
Member
147 posts
Blushing bee

Sorry, but “I love you but I don’t want you” is utter bullcrap. It’s what is otherwise known as “Letting you down gently so I don’t look like the bad guy”.

He doesn’t want you: end of story. He’s admitted the whole relationship was a lie because he always felt like he didn’t want to commit to you or have a baby. The whole Greta Garbo act about wanting to be alone is just to spare your feelings and make him look like less of a dick.

He thinks you deserve someone to love you the way you need to be loved? Then why doesn’t he stop being such a selfish idiot, pull his head out of his own ass and make more effort to love you in that way? But no, he wants to leave the job to someone else because he can’t be bothered to make the effort himself.

I really don’t understand why you want to be friends with this guy when he has lied to you and strung you along. That’s not how a friend treats you. If someone dared to treat me like that he wouldn’t be in my life any more. He’s a liar who uses people and wastes their time, and what’s even worse is that he’s done it to your poor children as well as you. My response would be to swiftly cut all contact with him for the good of the entire family, and look for a real man who has the integrity not to mess other people about.

Post # 24
Member
4554 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. But the good thing is, I am sure you will meet someone who really does love you and your family, and it’s going to seem like night and day compared to what you’ve been living with lately. I wish for your sake he had done this sooner, but at least he didn’t wait any longer than he did. I wish you the best of luck. And we will all still be here to support you, of course, wedding or no.

Post # 27
Member
1929 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

@angeleyes2012:  I really admire you both for being able to have an adult, honest and open converstaion about this.  I am sure it killed him to finally admit to himself, and then you, that he didn’t want what he hoped to give you.  He sounds like a good guy, and he is doing right by you.  I dont think the fact that it took him a few months to get there is bad – it was a BIG realization, and I am sure it was very hard for him.

Hugs to you and your girls.  I know this is heartbreaking.

Post # 29
Member
1384 posts
Bumble bee

I’m so sorry, that is a hard blow. I have learned though that men’s words should be taken at face value. They don’t murky up their feelings the way women do and if he says that he loves you deeply as just a friend, then that is what he means.

I hope that he continues to be the amazing friend and adult figure to your children during this time and for as long as he can. I’d say I would hope he could forever, but I’ve seen the mother move on and the new man take the form of the old friend.

Good luck! And I say this in the most sincere, non-snarky way πŸ™‚

Post # 30
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I am so sad that this is happening to you πŸ™ I hope that he realizes that he made a mistake.. and if not then just remember that it wont hurt forever and you deserve so much more for you and your girls πŸ™‚

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