(Closed) Two (surprising) annoyances about weddings

posted 7 years ago in April 2011
Post # 3
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Yes! To the name change thing! The ladies at work keep hypenating my name and I have friends calling me Mrs. M (even though they know I’m not changing my last name). I suppose I’ll have to get used to it, but I definately know I am not the only one keeping my name. OMG I just realized that my family has NO IDEA…oh this will be a doozie conversation with my grandmother.

In  general I am just sick of the “rules” about “how to have a wedding”. Some of the expectations and ettiquett are just not us and I am really struggling with them. We’re going very non-traditional and I am sure I have/will complete a number of faux pas, but I think we’ll be happy and I hope people will see past whatever pre-concieved notions they have about weddings (or keep their feelings to themselves lol).This is about us, not about the rules.

 

Post # 4
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

A lot of my wedding vendors seemed to be confused about anything outside of the box too. They all seemed to want a streamlined traditional.. everything! Which my wedding was for the most part, but there were a few deviations I had to explain over and over.

The name change thing is a lose-lose situation. I got such a hard time for taking a full month to change my last name. People would ask me on a daily basis if I had changed it yet, I have no idea why they cared so much. THEN when I changed it, I got a ton of negative feedback, people were mad that I changed it in the first place and some even told me my new last name sounds worse than my maiden! You can’t win..

Post # 5
Member
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Yeah I have gotten a lot of head turning questioning looks before too. I told my vendor that we were having a small wedding and that there wouldn’t be dancing or a DJ. It was like I had shocked them or something. lol. Also, they thought it was crazy that we weren’t doing a head table for the bridal party. They thought it was so odd…. You’d think that there would be enough variations to any wedding idea that people in the wedding industry would have seen it all, but I guess not. LOL. I think they definitely need to catch up with the times and stop thinking inside such a little box!

Post # 7
Member
243 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m annoyed by people who assume they are invited or get pissy when they find out they aren’t invited (mainly people who are friends of family)  that’s annoying to me.

Post # 8
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

It must be where you live?  I was asked at work by several people whether I was changing my name or not.  And that was from some people who I would’ve thought to be very traditional.  Also, pretty much all the vendors I worked with were not suprised about having a female best man.  Most of ours already had experienced it.

ETA:Not to shoot you down!  That would be very annoying!

Post # 9
Member
939 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

i’ve actually encountered both annoyances.

1. I’m having a Man of Honor (my best friend) and my three sisters as bridesmaids.  Everyone has been pretty cool about it, except my grandma.  She was shocked and not happy.  She said I should have one of my sisters as Maid of Honor.  And I was like “how can I choose between 3 sisters? I can’t.” So she was like “well, then I’m not coming” and i said “Ok, don’t be suprised if you don’t get an invitation in the mail” haha.  She wasn’t serous and neither was I.  (i mean, she was seriously shocked/surpised and upset, but she wasn’t seroius about not coming) Sometimes we bicker more like best friends than grandma/granddaughter.

2.  I haven’t decided if I’m going to change my name.  One part of me likes the whole “unified family name” thing.  But part of me wants to stay “me”, ya know?  I have awhile before I decided, but as soon as I got engaged people started calling me “Mrs.P*******” and everytime I would say “I haven’t decided that yet” ugh.

Post # 10
Member
811 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@SamanthaSadlier: I’m with you there. We had a vendor who basically tried to talk us out of out venue because it wasn’t apropriate for a wedding…then suggested we invite more people (and our guest list is 90) to make it “worth it”. Last time I checked you only need two people to make it “worth it”.

I also had a co-worker who was at a pot-luck wedding and this BLEW HER MIND. She was so shocked and almost appalled that people would ask their guests to bring food instead of presents. I think its a great idea for couples who want an intimate “family” gathering, no gifts, and lost of yummy yummy food. But apparently its offensive. Sigh

Post # 11
Member
274 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I kind of want to change my name, because it would go from four syllables down to one, LOL!  But future hubby and I are both in the sciences, and I already have my maiden name on one publication.  In scientific research, it is very common for the women to keep their maiden name.

By The Way, Neotoma is not my last name, nor is Elle my first 🙂

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