(Closed) Two weddings, one day… should we split up?

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
4352 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Go to the one you RSVPed yes to. Tell the other one sorry you have a prior commitment. Maybe they will invite someone else they had to leave off the list because of limited space. Just be quick about your No instead of waiting until the last minute.

Post # 4
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

First, no one tells you what to do or how to do it. You two decide together.

Second, what time are these weddings and how far apart are they? Is it possible to attend the ceremony of one, and then the reception of the other together? If so, go to your cousin’s ceremony, since you have a reading and then go to the other cousin’s reception. That’s pretty fair, if it’s possible to do, but no. If you don’t want to split up, then don’t.

Post # 5
Member
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Well, theoretically, that would be the best solution.  (My brother and SIL were actually both IN 2 different weddings on the same day.)  But that’s something that should have been figured out a long time ago, not 11 days before the weddings.  I’m close enough to my cousin that I would feel comfortable calling her to ask if she’s given her final numbers to the caterer, determined seating arrangements, etc.  If it would cause her a hassle, I would honor the RSVP and investigate whether we could stop by the other wedding later in the evening.  But that’s me.

Post # 6
Member
587 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If the weddings were important to us both, we’d split up. I wouldn’t be able to justify to my family that I couldn’t go to a family wedding because I wouldn’t split up w my SO. That’s just me though

 

Post # 7
Member
1358 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Well, my mom’s best friend is attending my wedding while her husband attends his neice’s wedding on the same day. So it isn’t unheard of. It’s definitely too late to make changes now,though, and I’m assuming you’ve already RSVP’ed to the other wedding with a no or let each bride know there will only be one attending. Final headcounts may have already been submitted, and seating plans have probably been set, so it’s too late to make changes to your decision now.

Post # 8
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@asscherlover:  +1 on this recommendation. Very good advice!

Post # 9
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

In this situation I would split up and you go to your family’s wedding and he to his.  I don’t think it’s fair for  your Darling Husband to miss his family’s wedding.  I would put myself in the shoes of the cousin getting married.  I know I would be pretty hurt if I found out my cousin missed my weddign to go to his wife’s cousin’s wedding instead.

I don’t see anything wrong with spending one social function apart.  I also don’t see how the timing of the invitation would change anything considering both invitiations were sent out with ample advance notice.

Post # 12
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

@mayflowerbride13:  In my opinion family is family.  I think it’s important to go to family events to built and maintain strong family relationships.  I had my 4th cousins, (our great grandparents were siblings) come from other countries to attend our wedding.  Do I see them all the time? No of course not. But I was so touched and it was another building block in the family relationship.

Sorry it’s not what you want to hear but I have to agree with your Mother-In-Law on this one.  

Post # 13
Member
1358 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’m…confused. If you got the invitations in March/May, why are you deciding this 11 days before the wedding? Did you really not RSVP to the other wedding already? If you didn’t, you might already be on their guest list as a “no.” 

Post # 16
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@asscherlover:  This is the proper response according to ettiquette. It’s very rude to change a yes RSVP because “something better came along”. Tell that to your Future Mother-In-Law 🙂

ETA: There’s probably more authoritative links, but this is what I found with quick googling: http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2010/08/rsvp-reversal-if-something-comes-up/

http://www.emilypost.com/social-life/invitations-and-announcements/153-invitation-etiquette-

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