(Closed) Two weddings – proper invitations to everyone for both?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Invitations to everyone for both ceremonies being held on either side of the world?
    Yes, that is the proper etiquette : (2 votes)
    20 %
    No, you will appear greedy - send to your respective hometown people only : (3 votes)
    30 %
    No, if the ceremonies are going to be casual anyway then advise people of details informally : (2 votes)
    20 %
    This requires a more complicated answer than a poll - see my comments : (3 votes)
    30 %
  • Post # 3
    1699 posts
    Bumble bee

    These are two separate events, so you should compile two separate guest lists. It is a sad-but-general rule of entertaining that you cannot invite everyone to everything, so you simply have to orchestrate the event that you want to have while allowing for the fact that your guests can always decline.

    For each wedding, invite anyone for whom the ceremony will be particularly meaningful — which means that people who respect both the law and your religious beliefs might be invited to both. Then for each wedding, fill the rest of the guestlist with people who live close to that ceremony site.

    Gifts have nothing to do with it. Despite the tendency of brides on message-boards to obsess about money and material, give your guests the benefit of the doubt and assume they are too high-minded to think ill of your kind invitation.

    Post # 4
    3314 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I like aspasia’s answer. 

    I think if you are being upfront with people about the fact that there are 2 ceremonies and that the reason is because of distances and wanting to be able to involve everyone, then the “gift grabby” notion won’t even come to mind to people.  

    Post # 5
    489 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I think apart from immediate family or super close friends, you should just send people invitations to whichever event is closest to them.  Not because it will seem gift grabby, but because if people can’t come because of money or distance then they might feel bad.  So just invite people to the event they are likely to come to.  

    I think its great that you’re doing two separate events so people won’t have to travel to celebrate with you.

    Post # 6
    606 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I second the one invite to the event closest to them.  It has nothing to do with gifts just  ability to attend.

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