(Closed) Two Weddings….Same Weekend

posted 8 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I don’t think that picking Friday makes it easier to do both.  You would have to fly to one location, leave the day after the wedding and fly to another location.  I don’t know about your money situation, but I know that I wouldn’t be able to afford that at all.  I would tell the second one sorry but it isn’t possible, you told her about it before and she shouldn’t have moved her wedding to the same weekend.

Post # 4
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

i think you should explain to her all of the wedding festivities that are going around for your friend #1 and how you made that commitment first.

it really isn’t fair that she chose the same weekend (albeit she chose a friday), all brides know that bm’s are needed for the wedding weekend! at least for rehearsal on a diff day than the wedding!

it sucks that you can’t be a part of both, but i think the right thing to do is turn down friend #2.

Post # 5
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would keep your committment to friend #1.  You committed to her over a year ago, and being part of the bridal party means that the rehearsal and the bachelorette are things you should be attending as well.  You were very clear with friend #2 about your other wedding committment, and how would she feel if her Bridesmaids told her that they could go to the wedding, but would be bailing on her rehearsal and bachelorette? 

Post # 6
1580 posts
Bumble bee

In my opinion, the right thing to do it to be a part of friend #1’s entire wedding weekend. Friend #2 obviously knows that there is a rehearsal and other stuff the day before the wedding, so I don’t buy it that she picked her date on that Friday so you could be a part of her wedding. Unfortunately you can’t be in friend #2’s wedding, but you shouldn’t feel bad about it- it’s totally not your fault.

Post # 7
1986 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t think it is fair of her to say tht she picked the Friday because of you, it is the same weekend and she should realize all the festivities that go on to prepare for a wedding and the strain that she is placing upon you if you decide to do both.  I’d drop the Friday wedding as you committed to the other one first and #2 knew you had this prior engagement, if she picked the Friday date for you then perhaps she should have discussed it with you first.

Post # 8
2680 posts
Sugar bee

I dont know that she necessarily picked Friday for you.  I understand the situation you are in though, it stinks.  I would be loyal to the first friend – and since they are both desination weddings, I really think that is asking alot for you to be at one wedding on Friday, travel Saturday and miss festivities and then be at the other wedding Sunday.

Post # 9
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

First come, first served.  It seems really selfish of #2 to put you in this spot.  Wouldn’t #2 expect you there for all her ‘pre’ activites, yet she expects you to ditch them for #1?  And even if she did choose the Friday date to ‘accomodate’ you, why didn’t she actually CHECK with you first that that date would work?

Post # 10
695 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’ll echo the other bees. I think that you should explain to her that you’ve already committed that entire weekend to Bridesmaid or Best Man duties for Friend #1’s wedding and that, as much as you want to be there for Friend #2, it wouldn’t be right to leave #1 in the lurch. Explain that if the situation had been reversed, you would have done the same for #2. Hopefully she will understand. 


Post # 11
175 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would definitely keep your obligations to Friend #1.  She got you first, you told Friend #2 about it, and now Friend #2 is just making things difficult for you.  Tell her you’re sorry, but “no”, and send her a nice present just to show there are no hard feelings.

Post # 12
79 posts
Worker bee

I agree with everyone else but I would also suggest explaining the situation to friend #1 before making any decisions.  That way you can first find out how she would feel about you missing those events, and if it means a lot to her (and the two friends don’t know each other) you could explain to friend #2 that friend #1 wasn’t comfortable with that solution and you feel that you owe it to her because of the whole first come first serve thing…

Post # 13
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

We had to move our wedding date after our original venue closed.  We contacted our parents and the entire bridal party to make sure that the new date worked before signing our contract with the venue.  Bride #2 knew you had another wedding that weekend – she absolutely should have checked with you before moving her wedding. 

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