Post # 1
second cycle trying and second disappointing big fat negative :(. I know many have been trying a lot longer but I’m 33, have no children and live a very healthy lifestyle.
I took a test today, one of those ones that detect six days before a period. I took mine four days before.
How do you cope with the disappointment and the waiting around?
Post # 2
tiredandillwife : I wouldn’t count yourself out just yet– even the CB’s or FRER’s can only detect so much early– so as they say, you’re not “out” until AF shows up!
Did you confirm O? Temp? Chart? The TWW is pretty miserable, because you’re constantly symptom spotting and anxiously awaiting the time until you can test. So, no advice there. As for getting over the sadness of BFN’s– well, you just have to suck it up and keep trying. Sounds harsh but each month I get my slew of BFN’s, I get sad/mad/defeated and give myself a couple of days… then it’s back at it hoping for the next month!
Post # 3
fromatoz : thank you for responding. It feels good just to reach out and talk to people who understand. The very few I’ve confided in have not really offered too much support, just to stop obsessing. Easier said when you already have all the children you’ll ever want.
No I didn’t temp or do ovulation check. I just chartered and we did the bd on the day before suspected ovulation.
I feel I have a lot to learn…
Post # 4
tiredandillwife : There’s some threads right now on the TTC boards that could help you get connected with other ladies who are also trying. You’re definitely not alone!
Post # 5
tiredandillwife : I am 33 and on my fourth cycle of trying. This past cycle I did try the trifecta to getting pregnant strategy and am holding out hope.
I also noticed your username which states that you are ill? Have you discussed any medical concerns you may have with your doctor?
Post # 7
j9marie : yeah I was ill back at the beginning of this year with bilateral pneumonia but I’ve been fully well for almost six months now and was given the okay to proceed with ttc. I was going to change my username but wasn’t sure how. Maybe I’m just frustrated wife now 🙂
Post # 8
I would totally recommend temping so you can know for sure when you’re ovulating! I waited far too long into my TTC journey to start temping and it made such a difference for me.
Chin up! I know it’s hard but nothing can be changed about the past, only going forward.
Post # 9
tiredandillwife : It takes the average person up to 6 months to get pregnant, and the vast majority up to a year. I KNOW that’s hard to hear… and you want to think you’re average or above average. It took us 9 cycles (8 months) to get our BFP, and we’ve both had previous pregnancies. I recommend setting goals every month. I painted our nursery after my 4th BFN. I finished my thesis after my 8th BFN. I started cleaning and organizing our house in the midst of everything. By our 9th cycle trying, I decided to focus on relaxing in every way possible (baths, prenatal yoga, acupuncture), as well as keeping myself busy enough during my TWW that I didn’t even think of testing until my temperature remained high later than it ever has… and that’s when we got it. We had talked to doctors, but no one would test us before the 1-year point. Just try your best to remind yourself that this is completely normal.
Post # 10
tiredandillwife : In my opinion, from personal experience, the blue dye CB gave me a negative but the pink dye first response/early response (it needs to say early response, they have 2 tests that look like box wise) gave me all my positives since Christmas night. Yes note, I said all my positives because I PEOS’s like it my job. 🙂
Give it a 2-3 more days and try the pink dye/FRER test. Good Luck! I will pray for a successful month.
Post # 11
tiredandillwife : For me, the TWW was awful and I got pregnant very quickly. I’d highly recommend tracking ovulation with OPKs at the very least. My O day was off based on my predicted date from my app (CD20 and CD16) and if we’d been TI from that we wouldn’t have gotten pregnant. Alternatively you can BD 3 times per week and that should be enough. TTC was such a stressful process that I needed the control of knowing exactly when I was ovulating and tracking temperature and cervical position. When you will get a BFP on an HPT depends on when you O. I’ve heard lots of bees getting BFPs at 7/8 DPO but for me I didn’t even get a squinter until 12/13 DPO either time I was pregnant (1st ended in a MC) so don’t count yourself out yet!
Post # 12
Talking to people you know in real life can be frustrating, because unless they’ve gone through this they don’t get it. Come on over to the POAS boards where we are all crazy two week wait symptom spotters 🙂 Unfortunately it doesn’t really get much easier (I swear every month I promise myself I’ll be chill but then the TWW comes around and I’m still crazy) but its nice to have a place to talk about everything with women who are going through the same thing.
I definitely recommend ordering some cheap ovulation test strips online (wondfo is the brand most of us like best) so that you can check daily during your suspected fertile week. Some women are surprised to discover that they ovulate way later than suspected and were missing the mark completely!
Post # 13
I *thought* I knew when I was ovulating…. Until I started using OPK’s. Once I started using them, I realized the days were were BD’ing were long before the actual ovulation day. Once you know for sure when you are ovulating, it takes out the guess work and can make TTC easier. I’m now finishing up my first trimester. Good luck to you on your TTC journey!
Post # 14
I get what you’re going through Bee! I’m also technically in the second cycle TTC and so far I have all BFN and today AF was supposed to show up. Granted, I’m peeing on IC…. But I am 99% certain I’m out this month.
Also not trying to talk to people much in real life because they will just tell me to “relax” and not worry about it and enjoy not preventing and la la la la…. I can’t wait to be pregnant and bring the first grandchild into both of our families! I get you bee. We are in this together.
Post # 15
SeaOfLove : good advice – thank you. We’re currently doing out our spare room and we wanted to turn into a nursery but we’re terrified this is tempting fate so have decided to just get it clean and tidy but not decorate it. I’ll start temping – thank you. I really didn’t think I’d be so upset with a bfn but I am so will take all advice.