(Closed) Two years and counting..will it ever happen??!!

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think you need to let him propose in his own time. Some may think 2 years is a long time to wait for an engagement but I personally don’t (having waited more than 5 years myself). If he has the ring, then it seems as though a proposal is inevitable. I suggest chilling out a little and letting it happen when it happens. You never know, maybe he has something in the works…

Post # 4
Hostess
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Have the two of you talked about getting engaged recently?  It sounds to me like you talked about it before you were long distance.  I’m not saying that long distance breaks up relationships but it does change things and afterward you have to adjust to being together again.  I know it’s hard waiting but if you have been talking about it a lot, that sometimes puts guys off of proposing because they think that all their Girlfriend wants is an engagement ring (stupid I know).

Post # 5
Member
3941 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

2 years?!  I agree with the above.  That’s not a long time at all.  Certainly not long enough to be coming to the end of your rope.

You also have to think about the others who are getting married after not being together so long.  While that may work for some people, it’s not going to work for a lot.  The more you learn about eachother before you get married, the better.

Post # 7
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I think it’s really smart to take some time to adjust after college (new cities and jobs) without the extra pressure of an engagement.  Don’t worry at all!  I’m a lot older than you and we still waited about 3 years before getting engaged.  The timing is not the most important thing.  It sounds like your relationship is still going well, right?

Post # 8
Member
745 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

enjoy what you have right now.  2 years is not long at all, I waited 7 years before a proposal.  If it aint broke, don’t fix it.

Post # 9
Member
2090 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think you should talk to him – as it’s important that you both be on the same page. When you talked about marriage – he may have thought you would start talking but not taking immediate action to marry – where to you, it meant starting wedding planning and buying a dress immediately. Perhaps you two are not on the same page timewise? When you talked about marriage – how concrete were the discussions? I mean – did you just talk about “the future”, or start setting specific dates and more concrete things?

I ask because you say you were “practically engaged” – what does “engaged” mean to you? I think to a lot of people, you are engaged or you are not engaged, there’s no a lot of gray area. Maybe the words mean something different to you than they do to your boyfriend?

You are quite young and dating seriously for a relatively short period of time compared to the course of your life (even if it feels long because others are getting engaged). If you really feel “at the end of your rope” at 20, and jealous of friends – maybe ask yourself why there needs to be an engagement right now. You are enjoying your relationship, no?

Post # 11
Member
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

2 years when you are so young is not very long. Most guys simply aren’t ready at that age – and you have a lot of growing/exeriences to do/have as well that would greatly benefit your relationship. But perhaps most importantly, it sounds like you are making assumptions about his actions without actually talking to him about what his thoughts/intentions are. And that’s a huge deal. Marriage is all about open communication. Talk to him about both of your timelines, intentions, wants and needs, and the WHYS behind them. It’s a very important talk that will keep you from playing the guessing game you are currently going through.

Post # 12
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Hi, two years is nothing, my boyfriend proposed to me after 6 years and and for different reasons we still gonna wait few more years for our wedding. Our ten years anniversary might make a very good date for a wedding as it falls on a saturday 😉

Post # 13
Member
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Ok, I was waiting to see if someone else asked but since they didn’t I have to….

Did you buy your wedding dress or are you wearing one that was passed down? If you purchased it and he knows you purchased it, maybe he’s a little put off by that. I know Fiance would have been if I purchased a dress before being officially engaged. 

Post # 14
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@emathews08: No worries! You have the dress, he’s got the ring, it’ll happen for sure!

Post # 15
Member
3305 posts
Sugar bee

@mireisen: I agree with you- he has the ring, it will happen.

OP – If you are still left wondering why it hasn’t happened yet, maybe you can talk to your parents about probing for you, so you don’t have to bring it up. I mean, seeing how he did ask them for your hand, I am sure they too are wondering when is the proposal going to take place. And they have every right to ask (from the parent of an almost teen daughter).

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