TWW emotions

posted 1 year ago in TTC
Post # 2
Member
6312 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2015

We BD’d 4, 2, and 1 day(s) before ovulation. We got our BFP on our 9th cycle of actively trying to conceive. The first few cycles, the TWW was full of hope. The next few cycles I felt anxiety… Then the final few cycles I felt defeated, like it wasn’t going to happen for us. I recommend you stay as distracted as possible! The one cycle I was the most distracted, I got my BFP.

Post # 3
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

First, a piece of (unsolicited) advice.  It’s already Thursday… you should still be having sex if you want to maximize your chances!  I believe that O-1 and O (if not done well after the actual O timing that day) are statistically most effective.  By O-3, the odds are pretty low.  If you don’t ovulate til Friday (tomorrow), Monday is O-4, so I don’t think your chances would be very good at all.  Even if you O today, Monday is still O-3.  I’d DEFINITELY GET BUSY TONIGHT!  Unless you’ve been having sex all week?  It sounds like you only did on Monday though.

As for your questions, I was excited that we were finally doing it!  We’d talked about it off and on for a year, so it was exciting to start.  I think our timing was pretty good: O-3, O-2, O-1, and O !  So not sure when we actually conceived.  

Image result for chance of conceiving per day

Post # 4
Member
9816 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

We had sex the day before I ovulated and that seems to have done the trick. Granted, it took 9 months of trying and only happened when I started to temp/chart. 

I had ALL the emotions in TWW, especially as the months started to climb up there. Frustration, disappointment, sadness, confusion, excitement, all of it.

ETA: How are you tracking ovulation? 

Post # 6
Member
2207 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Ah, gotcha.  That’s too bad!  Not even 5 minutes for a quickie huh??  If not, try not to get your hopes up too much for this first cycle… easier said than done, I know.  Fingers crossed for you.

Post # 7
Member
7814 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We kinda went balls to the wall (pun intended?) and bd’d every day from O-5 through O+1 basically all 5 cycles we were TTC (I was temping and using OPKs to confirm ovulation). Got two BFPs in that time, one of which stuck. No clue which day did the trick though, but I suspect O-1 both times just based on statistics.

And yes, the TWW is intense even if you’re just starting out! At first I just felt excitement in the TWW, then disappointment when it didn’t work, but would quickly bounce back and get pumped for the new cycle after AF was done. After my miscarriage though, the TWWs became angst-ridden. I’d usually be okay until like 7dpo, when I’d start to feel really anxious and depressed. I started exercising again after my miscarriage and for me that really helped me get into a better head space – endorphins are no joke!

Good luck bee. I hope it happens for you quickly, but if it takes a little while try not to get too down about it. Lots of great support on the bee for TTCers!

Post # 9
Member
7814 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

LittleButtons :  Yep, I think the feeling of not being in control is the most frustrating part of TTC. It’s not like anything else in life. If you want to get good grades, you study hard and make it happen. If you want to get a certain job, you set your mind to it and do everything you can to make it happen. But with TTC, there’s only so much you can do – ultimately the outcome is not in your control, and it is SO frustrating because having a baby is such a massive event in your life that you want to feel you can control!

And yes 6 months is the average I think, but it can actually take a healthy couple 12 months. That’s why fertility specialists won’t see you until you’ve been trying for at least a year. Anyway good luck again!

Post # 11
Member
2188 posts
Buzzing bee

LittleButtons :  TWW is crazy (and your hormones are raging at ovulation, so some of it is that too!). I can feel excited, depressed, hopeful, and discouraged in the same day! One thing I try to do: give myself a space every day to feel all the feels and then try to avoid letting TTC consume me all day. Some days I’m better at it than others, but making space to admit my feelings has been important in processing through this stage of life.

Post # 12
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Our first real cycle and I’m feeling the hopeful anxiousness too! I’m a little distracted and have been mentally complaining about how humans haven’t figured out a noninvasive way to know even sooner lol. I have no chill. Took a pregnancy test 5 days after when I think I ovulated even though there was no point lol. I pass the time by reading the boards.  Try to remember to not get my hopes up too much but right now I can’t help feel it will happen this cycle lol. I don’t know when I ovulated for sure but we bd cd day 9, 13, 17 & 19. I think I o on 17/18. But I tested on day 23 just in case I ovulated on day 13. Haha like I said  logic is out. All emotions here.  

Post # 13
Member
3199 posts
Sugar bee

I felt excited and very focused on being successful in our attempt- OPKs, temping, hubby got supplements too. We BD’d 2x a day O-5,3,2,1. I know the likelihood doesn’t shoot up for each day you hit, but I do feel like it’s markedly improved and from what I read about sperm quality, every day ejaculation improves quality, even though you may lose some quantity. No idea which did the trick, obviously, but we conceived the first month trying. I feel so lucky and relieved for that because I’m very type A as well and I would not have handled ‘failure’ well (totally not failing, but I wouldn’t be able to consider it otherwise for myself). Currently 25w. 

Post # 14
Member
7814 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

LittleButtons :  Thanks bee – happily, the 5th time was a charm for us. I’m currently 15 weeks! With the mc, it took us about 6 months of trying, which felt like an eternity at the time but is really a drop in the ocean. If i had to do it again (which I guess I will….we think we’ll want another), I would try to chill out a bit more. I’m sure I’ll still temp and use OPKs next time around, but I need to get some damn hobbies or something because the slog of the cycles can just get all-consuming, and it’s not a good way to live.

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