Post # 1
- Wedding: August 2013 - Genetti's in Dickson City, PA
I guess I’m not as much of a lady as I thought I was originally, because I have no idea about Thank You card ettiquette. I guess I have a few questions, and was hoping some bees can help. . .
1. Guest who showed up and left a gift:
this one’s an obvious card.
2. Guests who showed up and left an empty card (ie. nothing inside):
card or no card?
3. Guests with a guest of their own:
do I address the card to the other person as well or just the guest I invited?
4. Guest who showed up and left no gift, no card:
card or no card?
Post # 3
@RheannaRaye: No gift = no card. I mean, you could thank them for coming if you wanted to, but you are not expected to (unless they helped with the wedding or really, REALLY went out of their way to go). Same goes for just a card… no need to send a ty.
As for the guest with a guest… I would send a thank you to whoever signed the card. If the guest of the guest signed it, I’d assume they went in on the gift and therefore deserve thanks.
Post # 4
I don’t know the “rules” but we sent thank yous to everyone who attended…we were very grateful they came out and celebrated our marriage with us. We did send combined thank yous to guests with guests even if they didn’t live together.
Post # 5
#2- I say it’s up to you. If they travelled, I would really consider it.
#3 – How they signed the card is a good way to handle this.
#4 – This can be seen as fishing for a gift. Unless they helped out in some way, or if they had to travel to get there, don’t give them a Thank You.
Post # 6
We are sending cards to all who attended or sent gifts without attending.
Post # 7
It’s up to you, but generally no gift = no card. As for the +1 of your guest, it kind of depends in my mind – if they’re someone you know, i’d include them in the card. Otherwise, I’d just leave them off. But that’s just me!
Post # 8
I don’t know what the etiquette “rules” are, but I plan to send a thank you card to everyone who attends. As I see it, we invited them to our wedding because we love them and wanted to celebrate our day with them. I am grateful they took time out of their lives to do that, hence why I will thank them.
Imagine this scenario: You invite 50 people to your wedding. 45 people regret, but send a gift. 5 people attend but bring no gift. Who made your day more memorable? To me, it’s the people who were there that made your day, not just the people who sent gifts.
Post # 9
I think a card should be sent to everyone, I mean aren’t you thankful they came?
Post # 10
Why wouldn’t everyone who came get a thank you card? And those who didn’t come but sent a gift…
Post # 11
2- No gift = no card. I thanked them at the wedding. My husbands co-worker said he would give us a gift after our honeymoon (back in June) and so far we have received nothing. He also RSVP’d with his wife and came alone.
3- Guests who came with a +1,
My friend came with her boyfriend who she started dating after I sent out invitations. She signed his name to the card and they are still dating. I am addressing the envelope to her alone but inside I will address the card to both.
My cousin came with her boyfriend but signed the card with her name and her kids (who didn’t come). For the thank you, I am going to address the envelope to her and family and the same for the inside of the card. I am not going to mention the boyfriends name.
4- This didn’t happen to me, but no card is necessary.
Post # 12
My plan is to send a thank you card to:
1. Guests who gave gifts, cards, or letters
2. Guests who travelled out of town to attend (this is 90% of my guest list)
3. People who didn’t attend but sent gifts, cards, or letters
The reception/open bar are the “thank you” for local guests’ attendance. It’s not that I’m not grateful or that I don’t think their attendance made my day more special, it’s that their recognition has already been taken care of.
Post # 13
@ValerieBee03: Because sending a thank you note to someone who didn’t get you a gift can look like your fishing for a present or reminding them that they didn’t give you one.
Post # 14
@whitums: Oh. I guess I didn’t think of it that way because I wouldn’t take it that way as a guest. But I never go to weddings without a gift either. But I think if I went, and for whatever reason didn’t bring a gift, I’d still appreciate a “thanks for being there to make our day special!” sort of thing.
I just think it’s better to send a thank you card when you don’t know if you should than to not send one at all.
Post # 15
@RheannaRaye: 2. Card.
3. Card to guest you invited mentioning that it was nice to meet ____.
Anyone who attends, regardless of whether or not she gave a gift, gets a card.
Post # 16
@whitums: A heartfelt thank you note doesn’t fish for a gift.