Post # 1
So I am a neurotic Type A personality. I have a hard time relying on others to help out because I think I always need to be involved with every decision. It’s really hard for me to let go and trust that our DJ/florist/videographer/photographer/venue are going to be able to get things done for me! It also doesn’t help that my dress still hasn’t arrived, despite being ordered the first weekend of December and being told it would be shipped by the end of March and arrive no later than mid-April. AHHHH….
Anybody else have a hard time letting go? I seriously looked at my Fiance yesterday in the car and I was like – OUR WEDDING IS IN 2 WEEKS AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING OR HOW THINGS ARE SUPPOSED TO WORK. I am trusting these vendors/professionals to keep everything on track because – well let’s face it – I’ve never planned a wedding before and I have no flippin clue what I’m doing!!
I find I’m having minor breakdowns over relatively unimportant things. Like programs. Do I put them in a basket, or have them set out on chairs? How do I get all my stuff back after the wedding? Do my parents pack up stuff in their car (frames, guest book, gifts, cards, etc.) I’m just having the hardest time wrapping my head around some of these logistics! I feel like I have a million things left to sort out and do, but when I try to do something, I can’t think of what I actually have to do! Any other Type As out there who are stressing out about all of this?!
Post # 3
@OliveT: I’d probably put them on the seats and entrust a close friend/family member to load up your centerpieces and gifts to take home with them for you to pick up later! Breathe. It’s almost over!
I also haven’t gotten my dress yet and I am freaking btw! lol
Post # 4
@OliveT: Ooh, I feel you. I was a basket case with so much to do until the night before the wedding. At that point, I just let it all go and figured that hell or high water, placecards or crying ring bearer, we’d be married and that’s all that mattered. It’s hard as a type A to let things go, but try to focus on the big picture and the overall outcome rather than the little details (that only a very few people will notice….at least not enough people to justify stressing out over!). You+SO=wedding…the rest is just details 🙂
Also, wine or going for a run helps. But since you can’t fold escort cards while running, I enjoyed some wine. Hahaha.
Post # 5
@paigers91: OMG i cannot tell you how much better reading your post made me feel. I mean, not that I don’t want your dress to arrive or anything, but all I keep seeing are other bees who aren’t getting married for months talk about how their dresses arrived and scheduling their first fittings 3 months out from their dates. So at least we can freak out together at this point!!!!!!
@indibee: Wine it will be!!!!! I remember when I was complaining about how I wanted to just lose 5 lbs before my wedding and friends telling me not to worry that it is inevitable. I was like YEAH RIGHT, I LOVE TO EAT! Well, sure enough….. I have learned that Type A + stress + a million projects = no time for food and loss of appetite! Those 5 lbs…. GONE. 🙂 So at least one thing got checked off the list! And funny you mention the escort cards, I was working on those today! (with a beer – tomorrow it will be wine for sure!)
Post # 6
I can completely relate. I don’t want any help. Lots of people say they want their BMs to help and stuff, and I’m like, “Meh, not really.” Letting my Maid/Matron of Honor and a friend handle stuff for the day of makes me really antsy.
However, there are many things that I have shrugged off and pushed to the side as being “less important” because after 7 months of feeling like hell, I finally said I am suppose to be happy. I am 2 months away and I am starting to relax and remind myself that if one little thing is out of order it will be ok. Even though I am an organized freak with this wedding, I am trusting my vendors more. I don’t want to be bat-shit crazy the day of my wedding. I can trust that my Maid/Matron of Honor will handle the vendors. She loves me and wants to help, so why not? That’s why she’s my MOH!
Take a step back, breath, and let the little things go. Once you are able to do this, I PROMISE you will enjoy this wedding ride a LOT more. The past few weeks have just been me focusing on the fun stuff. Some things are stressful, but mostly good like how handsome my Fiance is gonna look in his tux, the socks the groomsmen are going to wear, getting my hair and makeup done up, and how excited I am to watch my mom and Future Mother-In-Law get excited about picking out their dresses. Good luck hon! Everything will be ok. Breathe and Trust <3
Post # 7
You need to learn to delegate. I say this as someone who has a VERY HARD TIME delegating. 🙂
I totally get this. I tend towards perfectionism with more than a slight touch of the OCD (clinical, I’m not just bein’ glib here.) You’ve got two weeks…and while that’s tight, you’re clearly smart enough to be able to think it all through — talk it through with your Fiance, your Maid/Matron of Honor, your mom and dad, your FI’s mom and dad — whoever your good planning partners are, they should be able to help you put together a timeline and packing list. Figure out who you want to do stuff like programs (on the seat if indoors, in a basket and/or with a helper if outside, IMO), and make sure that person knows what they’re doing. Your folks or close friends of the family can absolutely help set up and take down the decorations. It’s going to be OK!
Post # 8
@village_skeptic: You’re absolutely right. My Maid/Matron of Honor is out of town this week, but she’s very organized and she always gets things done – you don’t mess with her…… but she’s also very opinionated – she’ll do what I ask, but not without giving me her opinion first. 🙂 Another of my bridesmaids is always asking if I need help with anything, and maybe I can put her in charge of some of that stuff – figuring out who is taking the centerpieces, the frames, etc. I feel bad though because she’s also engaged and just booked their wedding (in 6 months) so I know she’s stressed too, but since she asked, I might as well have her help – and obviously I would do the same for her.
I’m just trying to do one thing at a time and keep my sanity! Glad to know I’m not the only one like this out there!
Post # 9
Hilarious, I relate completely! I’ve been trying to buy little things one at a time (for budget purposes) and I’m starting to really freak out that my beverage napkins don’t match my placecards that don’t match my Save-The-Date Cards that won’t match my invitations. Like, I have nightmares about the fact that things don’t match 100% (other than the main color). Uggg….
One thing I did do recently (per my mom’s advice) was hire a day-of planner. She’s confirming all vendors and basically running the show at the rehearsal and wedding. I know having the day-of planner will help me tremendously!
Post # 10
Omg, I wanted to write a post with this same title the other week, but decided not to. I totally agree! I am type-A. Where it concerns my wedding, I have to be in control of every single, little detail. It has been hard for me accepting help. Originally, I felt sad that people weren’t offering to help. Then, when people started offering, I found that it made me more frazzled that I’d ever imagined. I feel that I am better off handling everything on my own, rather than letting someone else do it and end up doing it wrong. We’re doing a candy buffet and have decorated old salsa jars for favor jars. I had a system for applying the fabric to the jar lids. FCIL helped me get some done last week and I HATE how she did them.
As my wedding date approaches, I find that my stress level is hightening to a level it has never reached. Sometimes I can just feel that my blood pressure is sky-rocketing. My anxiety is worsening. Suddenly, there are a ton of things out of my control and I can’t handle it. I had an unexpected financial crisis, so now, I don’t have near as much money as I need to finish this wedding. The Future In-Laws have offered to help, but won’t actually commit to anything. Future Mother-In-Law just keeps saying, “Oh, don’t worry, we’re gonna help you.” This is making me CRAZY! I just want them to say, “We plan to give _________ amount.” Until I’ve got everything officially paid for, I am not going to calm down! I am not sleeping anymore because I am sick over how we’re going to feed 70-80 people in just 73 days!
The list of stressors goes on and on, but I would definitely say that anyone with a Type-A personality should just go to the courthouse, or elope somewhere quaint. I will be surprised if I don’t have a heart attack by July.
Post # 11
@OliveT: A lot of the little things are getting me, too. We’re having a semi-DW. 4.5 hours away. I have to figure out how I am going to transport all of these things to our Destination Wedding and back. To save money, we are spending the week after our wedding at the beach house the Future In-Laws rented. I am constantly obsessing over who is going to be staying with us. I have no say, really, because I didn’t pay for it. But, Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law are pushovers, so I am totally expecteing to be saddled with my two year old future nephew on my honeymoon. Future Mother-In-Law has reassured me this won’t happen, that he will not be staying with us. But, I am so afraid my Future Sister-In-Law is going to drop him off and leave him with us for our entire honeymoon… and I will be forced to take care of him. I am also worried that Future Brother-In-Law is going to invite his loser friends. Like, literally having panic attacks over it. My biggest concern is that things won’t fall into place, decor-wise.
Post # 12
@OliveT: I can relate! Even though my wedding is a little over six months away, I can’t help but worry about the same things you are! Just the other night I pulled a tin out of the trash can thinking I could use it for my programs, but then worried that it was far too small and copper for my wedding. I am currently working on my invites and go back and forth on asking for help because I am already a nut job about the imperfect work I have done on them (for some reason my paper cutter is cutting them crocked and it DRIVES ME NUTS!) Who knows what would happen if someone else got involved!
I have a wedding planner which is nice is some respects; but, at the same time, I have trouble relying on someone else to get stuff done! I just freak out thinking about what a mess the wedding day will be if someone isn’t there to make sure things go as planned (since I will not be able to to it myself).
I am sure your dress will come in and your wedding will be AMAZING. Just try to step back, take a deep breath, and ask for help (as hard as that might be!)
Everything will be wonderful!!
Post # 13
@Sagittarius: I called the bridal shop today, got some guy on the phone who works in their TUX dept. He checked for me and he’s like – well it should be here within a week. I was like OK THAT ISN’T GOING TO WORK FOR ME I AM GETTING MARRIED IN 11 DAYS! So then he said he was going to check and he’d call me back. Calls me back 10 minutes later and tells me that it will be here by Friday and that they’ll call me as soon as they can so I can come try it on and see if any alterations are needed? I was like IF? Are you F-ing me right now! It’s going to need to be hemmed, taken in (since I haven’t been eating because my stress level is at an all time high!), and I’m having the top of it cut into a sweetheart neckline. Poor guy, he was trying to be so nice and I literally just wanted to eat him alive. I’m thinknig I will call back when I leave work (so I have time to calm down) and ask to speak to my consultant – if she’s there. If not, I know the name of the girl who originally told me the dress was late being shipped and I’ll just ask for her and find out if there’s a back up plan or how long these alterations are going to take. I mean, they have to do something if the dress isn’t here, right?! Luckily, the dress that was ordered for me was a sample size…… (I was a 10 when we ordered, but at this point, I’m probably an 8!) I’m thinking if worse comes to worse, they’ll have to put me in SOMETHING and refund me – I can’t go down the aisle naked! AHHHHHHH…… met with the venue last night to turn in our final numbers and talked to my florist who gave me the best advice of all. She told me that whatever I don’t get done by this weekend to just let go of. She’s like – nobody but you will even know it isn’t there and just relax and forget about it. Then she reassured me that she will be taking care of everything else and to grab some wine and a pizza. haha. This came after I had to tell her that now we have to add an extra tabel because i can’t get exactly 10 people at each table. (She also reassured me that it is no problem for her to create an extra centerpiece because she always has extra flowers).
PPPHHHHHEEEWWWWWW….. my only word of advice for anyone who still has a few months to go – do all of the crap work as soon as you can. Work on your ceremony so you can do your ceremony programs early and have them done with. Pick your menu as soon as you know what you want. All the little details are the hardest part for me.
Post # 14
This post was super awesome for me to read today… We are already married, but I am freaking out about our upcoming wedding celebration … I am going to try to follow the advice oon this post and relax, relate, release!
Post # 15
I would email your friends/family who are attending and ask some to collect presents and other items after the wedding. Make sure there is enough car/trunk space to pack it all, as well as willing helpers. Ask them now, to make sure it is OK with their travel plans to help.
Put programs on the chairs. In many cases, people forget to take them and this ensures everyone will get one.