(Closed) Type As should not have weddings!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@OliveT:  I’d probably put them on the seats and entrust a close friend/family member to load up your centerpieces and gifts to take home with them for you to pick up later! Breathe. It’s almost over! 

I also haven’t gotten my dress yet and I am freaking btw! lol

Post # 4
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@OliveT: Ooh, I feel you. I was a basket case with so much to do until the night before the wedding. At that point, I just let it all go and figured that hell or high water, placecards or crying ring bearer, we’d be married and that’s all that mattered. It’s hard as a type A to let things go, but try to focus on the big picture and the overall outcome rather than the little details (that only a very few people will notice….at least not enough people to justify stressing out over!). You+SO=wedding…the rest is just details ๐Ÿ™‚

Also, wine or going for a run helps. But since you can’t fold escort cards while running, I enjoyed some wine. Hahaha.

Post # 6
Member
7651 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I can completely relate. I don’t want any help. Lots of people say they want their BMs to help and stuff, and I’m like, “Meh, not really.” Letting my Maid/Matron of Honor and a friend handle stuff for the day of makes me really antsy.

However, there are many things that I have shrugged off and pushed to the side as being “less important” because after 7 months of feeling like hell, I finally said I am suppose to be happy. I am 2 months away and I am starting to relax and remind myself that if one little thing is out of order it will be ok. Even though I am an organized freak with this wedding, I am trusting my vendors more. I don’t want to be bat-shit crazy the day of my wedding. I can trust that my Maid/Matron of Honor will handle the vendors. She loves me and wants to help, so why not? That’s why she’s my MOH!

Take a step back, breath, and let the little things go. Once you are able to do this, I PROMISE you will enjoy this wedding ride a LOT more. The past few weeks have just been me focusing on the fun stuff. Some things are stressful, but mostly good like how handsome my Fiance is gonna look in his tux, the socks the groomsmen are going to wear, getting my hair and makeup done up, and how excited I am to watch my mom and Future Mother-In-Law get excited about picking out their dresses. Good luck hon! Everything will be ok. Breathe and Trust <3

Post # 7
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You need to learn to delegate. I say this as someone who has a VERY HARD TIME delegating. ๐Ÿ™‚

I totally get this. I tend towards perfectionism with more than a slight touch of the OCD (clinical, I’m not just bein’ glib here.) You’ve got two weeks…and while that’s tight, you’re clearly smart enough to be able to think it all through — talk it through with your Fiance, your Maid/Matron of Honor, your mom and dad, your FI’s mom and dad — whoever your good planning partners are, they should be able to help you put together a timeline and packing list. Figure out who you want to do stuff like programs (on the seat if indoors, in a basket and/or with a helper if outside, IMO), and make sure that person knows what they’re doing. Your folks or close friends of the family can absolutely help set up and take down the decorations. It’s going to be OK!

Post # 9
Member
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Hilarious, I relate completely!  I’ve been trying to buy little things one at a time (for budget purposes) and I’m starting to really freak out that my beverage napkins don’t match my placecards that don’t match my Save-The-Date Cards that won’t match my invitations.  Like, I have nightmares about the fact that things don’t match 100% (other than the main color).  Uggg….

One thing I did do recently (per my mom’s advice) was hire a day-of planner.  She’s confirming all vendors and basically running the show at the rehearsal and wedding.  I know having the day-of planner will help me tremendously!

Post # 10
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

Omg, I wanted to write a post with this same title the other week, but decided not to.  I totally agree!  I am type-A.  Where it concerns my wedding, I have to be in control of every single, little detail.  It has been hard for me accepting help.  Originally, I felt sad that people weren’t offering to help.  Then, when people started offering, I found that it made me more frazzled that I’d ever imagined.  I feel that I am better off handling everything on my own, rather than letting someone else do it and end up doing it wrong.  We’re doing a candy buffet and have decorated old salsa jars for favor jars.  I had a system for applying the fabric to the jar lids.  FCIL helped me get some done last week and I HATE how she did them. 

As my wedding date approaches, I find that my stress level is hightening to a level it has never reached.  Sometimes I can just feel that my blood pressure is sky-rocketing.  My anxiety is worsening.  Suddenly, there are a ton of things out of my control and I can’t handle it.  I had an unexpected financial crisis, so now, I don’t have near as much money as I need to finish this wedding.  The Future In-Laws have offered to help, but won’t actually commit to anything.  Future Mother-In-Law just keeps saying, “Oh, don’t worry, we’re gonna help you.”  This is making me CRAZY!  I just want them to say, “We plan to give _________ amount.”  Until I’ve got everything officially paid for, I am not going to calm down!  I am not sleeping anymore because I am sick over how we’re going to feed 70-80 people in just 73 days!

The list of stressors goes on and on, but I would definitely say that anyone with a Type-A personality should just go to the courthouse, or elope somewhere quaint.  I will be surprised if I don’t have a heart attack by July.

Post # 11
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

@OliveT:  A lot of the little things are getting me, too.  We’re having a semi-DW.  4.5 hours away.  I have to figure out how I am going to transport all of these things to our Destination Wedding and back.  To save money, we are spending the week after our wedding at the beach house the Future In-Laws rented.  I am constantly obsessing over who is going to be staying with us.  I have no say, really, because I didn’t pay for it.  But, Future Mother-In-Law and Future Father-In-Law are pushovers, so I am totally expecteing to be saddled with my two year old future nephew on my honeymoon.  Future Mother-In-Law has reassured me this won’t happen, that he will not be staying with us.  But, I am so afraid my Future Sister-In-Law is going to drop him off and leave him with us for our entire honeymoon… and I will be forced to take care of him.  I am also worried that Future Brother-In-Law is going to invite his loser friends.  Like, literally having panic attacks over it.  My biggest concern is that things won’t fall into place, decor-wise.

Post # 12
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@OliveT:  I can relate!  Even though my wedding is a little over six months away, I can’t help but worry about the same things you are!  Just the other night I pulled a tin out of the trash can thinking I could use it for my programs, but then worried that it was far too small and copper for my wedding.  I am currently working on my invites and go back and forth on asking for help because I am already a nut job about the imperfect work I have done on them (for some reason my paper cutter is cutting them crocked and it DRIVES ME NUTS!)  Who knows what would happen if someone else got involved! 

I have a wedding planner which is nice is some respects; but, at the same time, I have trouble relying on someone else to get stuff done!  I just freak out thinking about what a mess the wedding day will be if someone isn’t there to make sure things go as planned (since I will not be able to to it myself). 

I am sure your dress will come in and your wedding will be AMAZING.  Just try to step back, take a deep breath, and ask for help (as hard as that might be!)

Everything will be wonderful!!

Post # 14
Member
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

This post was super awesome for me to read today…  We are already married, but I am freaking out about our upcoming wedding celebration …  I am going to try to follow the advice oon this post and relax, relate, release!

Post # 15
Member
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would email your friends/family who are attending and ask some to collect presents and other items after the wedding. Make sure there is enough car/trunk space to pack it all, as well as willing helpers. Ask them now, to make sure it is OK with their travel plans to help.

Put programs on the chairs. In many cases, people forget to take them and this ensures everyone will get one. 

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