(Closed) ugg… the boys…vent.

posted 6 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

It sounds like you’re letting your personal feelings about this friend get in the way. We all do that sometimes, but I assume you posted here because you wanted to hear some feedback. Your Fiance should make his own choices about if he gets to see his friend or not, and what they do for his bachelor party. 

Post # 4
Member
3776 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

Your Fiance needs new friends…like yesterday!  What exactly makes him friends with these losers?

Post # 5
Member
1839 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

well…for one thing, your Fiance is an adult and they can’t MAKE him drink/smoke/whatever.

i definitely understand your frustration, though b/c my Fiance and his friends recently had a “guys weekend” & all the girls were pretty annoyed about it…nothing near as crazy as what you’re describing, though.

 

anyhow, your Fiance most likely knows what will be going on during the weekend and is able to make a choice about whether he wants to participate in it or not.  I think all you can really do is let him know your feelings (in a calm manner) on the subject.

Post # 7
Member
46388 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your Fiance is a big boy and totally responsible for all decisions he makes- including his choice of friends and how he chooses to spend his time.

Post # 9
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Your Fiance needs to be able to man up and stand up for what he does and doesn’t want. Peer pressure shouldn’t even be an issue past high school.

Post # 10
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I get where you’re coming from but this is FI’s domain to deal with – they’re his friends…

Post # 12
Member
3104 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@mayflowerbride13:  like PP said, your Fiance is a big boy. if someone gave me a bottle of vodka knowing that i don’t drink i wouldn’t think twice about it. thanks for the gift and let it go. he has to be adult enough to say no when he doesn’t want to do something. this truly isn’t a concern you should have about his friends, but more about him. 1. why does he choose to spend time with people like this and 2. why is he so weak and easily influenced?

Post # 13
Member
5963 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Meh…not really worth worrying over honey.  You gotta understand the primitive nature of certain men and the mentality surrounding rites of passage…I don’t agree with the whole prostitute/ stripper extravaganza because personally I don’t get the allure..

We eloped, so no time for any of the extra stuff, which was fine, but a couple of friends and family members have gotten married and the bachelor parties for those have ranged from anhililation by intoxiciation to fake boob-a-thon, all of which my husband attended and then came home to tell me about.

He does so with a marked disinterest in almost all of it, other than the part where the groom to be either makes a total ass of himself by falling into a bush or getting a lap dance from some woman whose thighs resemble tree trunks…there’s really nothing sexual or appealing about any of it…in fact it seems more like hazing to me…

After getting an intimate look into the mechanics behind this bizarre and barbaric custom, I pretty much stopped worrying about it, because it’s not really about anything other than making the groom look stupid somehow, and as long as he’s got a good head on his shoulders, which I’m sure he does…he’s going to be just fine, and probably surface the next day with a blinding hangover and glitter all over his clothes.

 

Post # 14
Member
3104 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

my favorite thing about the bachelor parties/strippers is how it seems everyone’s SO/FI/DH hates them and didn’t have fun at any function that involves them. it’s an industry for a reason and some guys somewhere have to be loving it. they just have no good reason to ever admit it to their girlfriend or wife. of course they found the girl skanky while her chucky was in his face for full inspection.

Post # 15
Member
3220 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Yeah, your Fiance is totally at fault for anything that happens.  Unless the friends tie him up and forcibly pour alcohol down his throat, he’s still putting the drink to his lips.  

Only high schoolers get to use “peer pressure” as an excuse.  You’re marrying a grown man who should be held responsible for his actions and choice of friends.

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