(Closed) Ugggh How can people "not know" if theyre coming to the wedding?!!

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
1828 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@kjo:  People are just rude

Post # 4
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

That’s so frustrating! When do you have to give the head count to your caterer?

Post # 6
1900 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Wow! I could understand if it were a few people, but to have the majority saying that is just crazy! I mean, so say that, you’d need bloody good reason for not knowing (e.g. medical issues). No wonder you need a vent!

I guess just tell them that you need the final numbers for catering purposes ASAP and, if they don’t confirm, you’ll have to assume they’re not coming. The only downside would be people saying they’re coming, then not because they “don’t know yet.”

Post # 7
10449 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

Dude what? I respend almost instantly to a wedding invite. Make plans to go or not, it’s that simple. Sorry your guests suck at doing that!

Post # 8
5397 posts
Bee Keeper

Well I can understand some people not knowing because life gets crazy, but if 96 people you invited don’t know, that’s pretty weird. 

Post # 9
1304 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Ugh, how frustrating! I would definitely tell them they have such and such date to get back to me because I have to tell the caterer. If they try to sneak in a late RSVP, tell them too bad.

Post # 10
4650 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

It’s like “what do you mean you don’t know? JUST DECIDE AND THEN YOU’LL KNOW.”

Post # 12
1722 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

It shows an extreme lack of consideration to shrug it off with “We don’t know.” They’ve been given enough notice that the folks who maybe needed to get time off had the time to do so. Are they planning until the week of to see their schedules or something? Odd.

If you don’t feel like going, say so outright and as soon as possible. Don’t wait until the last minute if you already know you probably won’t feel like going (which tends to be the reason behind the majority of “I don’t knows” I hear). 

Far fewer are for legitimate reasons – someone’s sick, someone’s going to have surgery around that time, something important came up suddenly at work, etc.

I have an aunt pulling this with me right now. She’s refusing to send back her RSVP. “I don’t know if I’ll go or not…I won’t know until the morning of…” Thankfully, so far, she’s just one person. I strongly suspect she won’t come anyway, but it still ticks me off.

I just wish she’d say, “I’m doing so badly that I probably won’t come, so ‘no.'”

But seriously, OP – what a piece of work to have so many people doing that to you. I’m so sorry.

Post # 13
49 posts

Did you send out STD’s? I don’t understand why it takes people forever to figure out if they’re going to a wedding either. I can see if they’re coming from out of town and have to figure out if they’ll be able to make the long trip or something. But it’s the people that live like 5 miles from the wedding that take forever to let you know if they’re going. So annoying!

Post # 14
2873 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

View original reply
@CookieCreamCakes:  say what now? for a valid reason or she doesnt know if shell feel like it?!

Post # 15
5285 posts
Bee Keeper

That would drive me crazy also! When I get an invite I send that RSVP back ASAP!!

Post # 16
6253 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2014

That’s BS. People are so wishy-washy these days!

The topic ‘Ugggh How can people "not know" if theyre coming to the wedding?!!’ is closed to new replies.

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