Post # 1
Dear Bees- I’m a long time listener first time caller. I just mailed my invies (YAY) and was SUPER excited about it. It’s actually starting to feel like I’m REALLY going to get married!! I made the mistake of posting my elation on facebook to my entire friend list and not just the wedding list. UGH! A gal I am not close to commented “I hope I get an invite!”. Though we’re not super close she invited me to her large informal wedding a few years ago, I did not attend. Our last communication involved the standard birthday salutaion on, you guessed it, facebook. I am having a very small wedding (approx 60 people if I can help it). I can’t invite her as I am already over budget. How best to respond… or not at all?? I was thinking I would PRIVATELY message her and say something like
“Thank you so much for your encouragement. We’re having a really small wedding but we’re planning an informal get together to celebrate our nuptuals after everything calms down so we can include all of our friends and family members in our celebration. I’ll definitely keep you posted once we get our heads back on straight!!”
What do you think? I thought people weren’t supposed to ask for an invite?!? Now I feel like a jerk!!
Post # 3
I think this is where you use the Internet to completely ignore someone.
Post # 5
what she (peachacid) said..If you plan on replying then you sound more obligated to get back in touch later and are you having a small wedding?
Post # 6
my EX BOYFRIENDs family keeps commenting on my facebook. out of the blue even ill get wall posts “im still waiting for my invite” or “i didnt get my save the date yet!”
ARE YOU SERIOUS! whyyyyy would you want to come to my wedding? we havent talked in how long?! ive been apart from my ex for 3.5 years now!
ive ignored them all.
Post # 7
I would not respond.
I had this happen where a friend posted on my FB page that she hadn’t yet recieved an invite (because I didn’t send her one). She even began to make carpool plans with another friend that was going. I explained to the friend that was going that unfortunately we just didn’t have the space to invite everyone and I would appreciate it if she just didn’t encourage any plans. In the end the requests stopped coming but it was incredibly awkward for a while.
Post # 8
If you’re close enough to this girl that you feel it warrants a response, send a private message. I wouldn’t include anything about inviting her after RSVPs are in though. Just leave it at “we’re having a small wedding”. Otherwise, the situation could drag on.
Post # 11
I’d respond with a private message saying something like: Hi! It’s nice to hear from you! Just wanted you to know that we are having a small, intimate wedding. We hope to have a larger, informal celebration at some point afterwards, which I will definitely invite you to, if it happens! Hope all is well!
(that’s assuming you even want to invite her to the larger gathering. If not, ditch that sentence – you aren’t obligated to invite anyone (just because they invited you or feel close to you.)
The only reason I say respond vs. say nothing is to avoid future questions from her about any other things you may post on FB.
Post # 12
Don’t ignore…that’s a bit mean….respond….”Sorry, wish I can invite all friends but having a small wedding so keeping it strictly to a minimum”. Be nice. I’m sure they’ll understand.
Plus if you dont want anyone inviting themselves, don’t post wedding stuff on facebook. You said it on your title….stupid facebook!!! LOL. I know your excited but when you post wedding plans on facebook it’s almost like your including all of them, letting them know, so ofcourse SOMEONE will want to invite themself. If you’re excited and need to post. Post it on weddingbee .
Post # 13
@OmahaCupcake: “I thought people weren’t supposed to ask for an invite?!? Now I feel like a jerk!!” Weeeeellll, I also though we weren’t supposed to toot our own wedding horn on FB. 😉
I like the private message idea, especially going with the ‘We hope to have a larger, informal celebration at some point afterwards, which I will definitely invite you to, if it happens! Hope all is well!” note.
Post # 14
Thank you all!! My Fiance and I appreciate the feedback!! I feel like either answer could work, however, sending a note is more fitting with my personality so I will contact her with a short sweet note and hope she understands. If she takes offense I know I did what I could to correct it. @oracle I really like your wording.
I definitley DO make an effort not to post publicly and post my updates to my “Wedding List” only. It was an oversight that bit me on the a** today. From now on I will either send it privately to the three people who actually want to know (my mom, my sister, and my BFF) or do it here with the other bees. It’s good to have another outlet!
@peonies09 I know 60 doesn’t sound super small, however, my Fiance has NINE brothers and sisters (their spouses, children, and two sets of parents take up about forty people). We’re really inviting just our immediate families and our small cluster of nearest and dearest friends. If we invited everyone we would have a circus!!
Post # 15
I’m guilty too! I once complained about DIY projects on FB and went ‘bad girl, baaaaad!’.
Post # 16
Girl, post away about your wedding! – just because you post about your wedding doesn’t mean people have the right to invite themselves to your wedding! Depending how close you are to this person, I’d just ignore it or just send a private message saying sorry we are having a small wedding.