(Closed) Ugh, am I really having a cash bar? Really?

posted 8 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Could your mom just “give” you the money and then you guys could just say you’re paying for it?

Post # 4
Member
1207 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Can you bring your own alcohol in?  You might be able to provide a limited bar if you can bring your own in.  You can get it cheaper usually.  Also, is there a way you and your Fiance can save up for it?  Especially if you can bring your own alcohol in, then you can wait till last minute to buy it all.  And by limited, I mean, I was at a wedding that served Bud Lite, whiskey, vodka, chardonnay, and mixers.  That’s all they had.  Makes for a much cheaper evening by limiting peoples choices.

Post # 5
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

How about if Mom doesn’t really “pay” for the alcohol…jsut gives you guys some money and then you decide what to do with it? You know, just so it makes her look better to the family. ‘

Otherwise, is there any way you guys can save up some money? While i would feel exactly the same as you, it does sound like you have zero options. And i’m sure if you just explain to your friends (who i’m guessing would be drinking?) about the family situation, they’ll understand. I’d be bummed if i were you, too, though

Post # 6
Member
1455 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Do your friends (or other people who will be drinking) understand how your families are? If so, they might not be as bothered by a cash bar. If I was going to a friend’s wedding and knew their families were very much no drinks/no dance I’d just be happy alcohol was AVAILABLE because of the circumstances.

Post # 7
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

HAHA, i had to laugh at that KJPugs–I have to agree, if I knew the bride’s family was that religious and strict as to not approve of alcohol and dancing, I’d be grateful just to be able to have one, even if I had to buy =]

Post # 8
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

You’ve still got 6 months before your wedding. Maybe you can cut back on Christmas presents, do something at home for new years eve, and skip going out for valentines day to save the money. How much cash gifts do you think you will get from your guests? you could always charge the cost of the alcohol to your credit card and pay it off right away with some of your gift money (although usually not a good idea).

Post # 9
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m with kjpugs… given the family drama, I hope your friends will be understanding that a cash bar was the best you could do to please everyone. Could you disseminate this information through your wedding party/close friends?

Post # 10
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I second EJS, is there any way you could save money to pay for it yourself? I agree, like you said, that there may even be confusion when guests walk to that bar and that some may be expecting that this bar is part of your after party since it was announced as an option for those that would like to drink.

Also, if you can/ can’t bring in your on alcohol, def stick with beer & wine only 🙂

Post # 11
Member
1455 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Or maybe you could save up enough to buy drink tickets for a certain # of drinks (paid for before by you and FI) so your friends could each get at least 1 drink ticket?

Post # 12
Member
948 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2018 - Coyaba Resort, Montego Bay

I would try to find out if you can bring in your own alcohol – it would be dirt cheap for 50 people!  You could just get a keg & a few big bottles of wine.

Post # 14
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

Well, there’s nothing wrong with a cash bar. I would never ever be upset if I went to a cash bar wedding and I would never judge a bride for having an expensive dress and a cash bar. 

The only problem I see for you is the logistics – you mentioned people would have to leave the reception room to get a drink and you have a lot of drinkers in your family. I guarantee you they will all hang out at the bar and this might get annoyning. It’s unavoidable, even though they are there for you they’re 100% gonig to go get a drink, but the bar atmosphere is probably what they’re looking for – something more social with alcohol. They don’t mean to ‘ditch’ you, but I promise it will end up happening.

Can you move the cash bar into your reception room?

Post # 15
Member
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Could your parents pay for part of the violinist and use that money from your Future In-Laws to pay for the booze?  If your mom was going to pay a few hundred (or whatever) for the alcohol and instead uses it for music, your Future In-Laws won’t have to pay for more but your mom can say they bought the drinks?

Post # 16
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Wow this quite a pickle…

I would go with the you guys save up and pay option of spread the word among friends! They can still drink – they just have to get their own booze at the outside bar.

I am with the others when the say that if I knew your family was so anti-alcohol I would just be happy their was any available.

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