Post # 1
Fi is off on his stag do tomorrow so don’t want to burden him with this. A few years ago I was raped. I didn’t tell anyone at the time. My mum would have been devastated. My family still don’t know. Only Fiance does. Anyway, last year I ended up having to go to a psychologist as I’d never really dealt with it and started to get severe anxiety..it was the only thing I could attribute feeling so crap to.
Anyway my liaison office contacted me today. He’ll be out very soon. I wasn’t expecting the call and I feel crap. I think it’s unbelievable he’s out so soon but anyway.. I need to get on and deal with it. I don’t actually have a question to ask I just needed to say this to someone. Thanks for reading.
Post # 3
@ticatica: I’m so sorry that you had to go through that. It’s great that you were able to confide in your fiance, and that you had the strength to seek the help of a counselor. It seems like you really have your life together and clearly have a lot going for you. Maybe keeping that in mind will help you get through the next few days/weeks. Don’t be afraid to lean on your fiance or counselor if it gets hard.
Post # 4
I’m sorry you have to go through this! I was attacked in a public restroom and ended up chasing the guy down and getting him arrested. I found out he was getting out on good behavior and just went into full panic mode. I ended seeking some professional help and that seemed to really help. Because, like you, I didn’t want to burden any of my loved ones with details or feelings that would make them more than uncomfortable.
Post # 5
I’m so sorry that you went through this and I’m really glad you feel you can share this here on the boards :-). Maybe you can increase the frequency that you visit your therapist? This may be a difficult thing to deal with. Just take every moment as it comes. Maybe looking into some self defense classes will help you feel more empowered? It would probably also be great stress relief. I’m seding positive thoughts your way…feel free to PM me if you need to talk.
Post # 6
Oh nooo. I’m so sorry to hear that happened to you. I’m glad you went and got some counseling. At least you know you can always go back to your same psychologist if you need some more help getting through this stage. (hugs)
Post # 7
I’m sorry that this has happened to you. I would be upset too if I was in your position, but I think the best thing is to just focus on the positive things in your life and your Fiance. Definitely talk to your counselor since he/she has more experience with this. If I was in your position, I would probably take some self defense classes. I took some back in college and it made me feel more empowered and safer.
Post # 8
ugh, I am so sorry, I think feeling like crap is totally understandable considering the circumstances. I don’t have any advice to give other than im sorry, and keep busy.
Post # 9
Thanks guys. I don’t see the psychologist anymore. I felt like I was ok so the sessions finished. I can go back I just don’t want to take a step back. I think i’m still fairly angry about it all…I just don’t want to find myself bumping into him. I think it’s very unlikely but irrationally, I’m probably going to start worrying about it :/ Gah, i guess i’m a bit floored by how you can get thrown right back into feeling so out of control :/
Post # 10
I was never raped and I feel sorry that it happens to anyone. I am sorry it happened to you and I am glad you are getting counselling for it….
I cringe every time I hear of rape. I would struggle with all my strength because…. I would probably “die”, I am so small down there, he would probably rip me apart trying, I can’t put a tampon in…and the doctor has a very hard time doing a PAP smear.
Post # 11
I am so sorry you have to deal with this dear 🙁 I don’t have anything substantive to offer, but *hugs*
Post # 12
That just plain sucks. Im sorry you have to deal with this.
Post # 13
I’m so sorry, OP 🙁 I would really consider telling your Fiance…I’m sure he wants to be there for you if he only knew…can you get into your counselor this week for an extra appt? So so sorry 🙁
ETA: just saw your post about no longer seeing the psychologist…but I wouldn’t consider it a step backward to talk about it some more. Everyone has their own healing schedule, take all of the time you need.
Post # 14
I wish I had advice or any words of wisdom. I’m just so, so sorry you’re going through this.
Post # 15
*Hugs* I am so sorry that you had to go through that and yes I whole heartedly agree that justice systems all over the world have ridiculous sentencing practices for these sort of crimes.
I also want to thank you for beig a strong woman who hasn’t let such an evil act destroy the rest of her life and for having the strength to speak up and to share your story here, even though anonomously, as it will help those other women who don’t think they have the strength to come forward.
Me and the goats of the world salute you
Post # 16
@ticatica: I’m so sorry. Do consider going back for what I like to call “tune up” appointments with your therapist. It doesn’t mean that you’re backsliding; it just means you’re getting some maintenance now that there’s been a change in circumstances.
I might also add that if *I* were your fiance, I would want you to confide in me, stag party or no. That’s what partners are for.
Finally, does this release present a physical danger to you? Is the rapist likely to try to contact you or someone you know? If so, talk to the police or to a victim’s advocate for information on how to stay safe.