(Closed) UGH FI just doesn’t get this wedding thing!!

posted 8 years ago in Grooms/men
Post # 3
1154 posts
Bumble bee

There’s really no one way to do it and IMO no proper “wedding way”. 

I think you’re totally right abou the RSVP because they might well show up and mess up your catering contracts etc.

However, showing people things or keeping things secret is completely a matter of preference.  Tough when you and your Fiance have different preferences but totally possible to work it out. 

Post # 4
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I actually agree with your Fiance about keeping the wedding details secret. I show stuff to my mom, but generally prefer to leave it a surprise for everyone else – I think it’s more fun that way! I definitely think most issues like this one are a matter of preference – there is no “wedding way” as Arachna said! 

In cases when there really is a “right and wrong”. like the RSVPs, you just need to explain the logic behind it (if they show up, you’ll have to pay extra), and I’m sure Fiance will see the light. 

Post # 5
393 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Guys just don’t get weddings, lol. My guy is fine without doing the wedding (we already eloped 4 years ago, just getting around to the wedding, lol), but i told him we’re doing something i want for once! He doesn’t get a lot of the wedding stuff, but he just goes with it, and tries to help, even though there’s things he’d rather be doing!

Post # 7
2058 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

You seem to feel a  bit in a pickle  –  I am sorry!!!

I agree with the other gals that you are indeed correct in wanting to f/u with the folks that have yet to RSVP.  The other thing about the non RSVP’ers is that its flat out rude, I mean come on people you are given a solid window of time to confirm whether you can or cannot attend!!!! 

In regards to sharing certain details you have thus far – – I think its something you can work through and ficure out. For us we aren’t sharing because too many people have too many opinions and it begins to get a bit crowded if you know what I mean!!!

Post # 8
2201 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

It’s funny what FH is insistent on. Like when I told him about the Save-The-Date Cards and needing everyone’s addresses (including cousins).

Him: “Well, they’d just be included under the umbrella STD sent to the parents.”

Me: “No, honey. Each person over the age of 18 gets their own, even if they still live at home.”

This is especially important because we’re doing an 18+ guest list . . . which means that NOT everyone in a household is invited and this is my way to ease them into that realization.

I’m just going to do it my way 🙂

Post # 9
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

^^^ We just had the STD discussion.  He still doesn’t understand.  LOL.

Post # 10
1897 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

Hahah my sweetie is so not wedding-wired! At least you’re likes to keep quiet to friends and family.  Unbeknownst to me, my darling told everyone he works with (who are also invited) how much it’s costing us!  Eek!  He had no idea that was a major faux pau.

Post # 11
1154 posts
Bumble bee


I sympathize but I think in the end you will be very pleased that you have a more involved groom.  Wedding are a lot of work and time and being able to share that burden with another person is wonderful. 

Post # 12
3613 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

When my Fiance gets weird ideas about the wedding I ask the Hive what the proper etiquette is since I’m not an expert myself. Then I show him the answers, “see these girls know what they’re talking about, that’s not how it’s done”. To my suprise he seems to accept WB as an authority and usually relents Laughing

Post # 13
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

My hunny doesn’t even get involved in our wedding at all!! & I guess I’m okay with that…LOL he helps every now & then but for the most part I keep him out of the loop.

I think it’s cute that he doesn’t want anyone to see the invites, etc. Although, I definitely showed mine off!

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