Post # 1
I oringally told my 2 bm’s that they could pick any floor length black dress for their dress. Then my FH tells me the other day that he wants them in matching dresses. So i go and pick one out with the one bm who is local. and loves the one i pick and puts the deposit on it that day. I send and e-mail to the other one ( because she is super busy so we talk via email and text) about the dress change.
She send me a text today saying she got her dress, thats great! only that its not the right one. she apparently never got the message about the picked dress.
I tell FH, what do I do? he tells me to tell her to return the other dress and get the new one bc we know she can return it.
so i call her up and tell her that I hate to tell her this but i need her to return the other dress and get the one i picked bc FH was so set on the matching dresses.
i could hear the annoyed-ness in her voice. I feel so aweful! this is why i didn’t even want a Wedding Party because i didn’t want to tell people what to wear and how to wear it and all that crap.
I feel like a total Bridezilla.
Post # 3
Just out of curiosity, is there a cost difference between the dress she chose and the one you picked out?
Post # 4
Why does your Fiance want them in the same dress?
Post # 5
I would just try to make it up to her in some way- she will get over the annoyance of it.
Post # 6
the dress she got orig was $68. the new one is $167.
Fiance wants the same dress so its uniform. all the guys are in the same suit. even my Man of Honor.
i have no idea how to make it up to her. thoughts?
Post # 7
Yea, why does he want them in the same dress? I wouldn’t say you’re a bridezilla.. yet. Take the time to talk to your bridesmaid and ask her if she can return it and buy the other dress. She is probably confused because you told her two different things. I’m sure you can work it all out. In the end, it’s not going to matter what they wear, unless there is a huge reason why your fiance doesn’t want them in different dresses.
Post # 8
@AJ-n-Ashley: You could pay the difference in the dresses. $100 difference is a lot.
Post # 9
Why does your FH care about what dresses they are wearing? I would just let them wear whatever floor length black dresses they want! Your FH will not notice or care on the wedding day!
Post # 10
FH and I would round and round talking about the dresses. he is set on each having the same dress.
both my bm’s told me they had $200 budget on the dresses. thats why i picked the one i did. it was in the budget and amazing. I can pay the difference bc I’m already stretched to my limit with money. – Just got a huge pay cut.
I told her if she can’t return it then thats okay. I dont want her to have to buy two dresses. but if she can exchange it that would be amazing and great bc Fiance really wants them to match. She knows FH and how OCD he can be about things. so I’m sure get its it. I just feel like a total B!
Post # 11
@AJ-n-Ashley: To be honest I dont think your FH needs to have any part in choosing your BMs dresses…. let him have 100% control of the groomsmen suits/tuxes but he doesnt need to have an opinion on the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses – do what is best for your friends!
Post # 12
@PitBulLover: I agree.
Fiance gets to pick his groomsmen attire, you get to pick your bridesmaids attire.
Post # 13
I agree that he doesn’t need to have a say in what they wear! And I know that I would be EXTREMELY irritated if I was suddenly told to buy a dress that was $100 more than what I’d already gone to the trouble to find.
In the end, I think it matters most that your bridesmaids are happy in what they wear.
Post # 14
I disagee I think your Fiance should have an opinion. They are gonna be his pics too and he apparently likes matching.
I made my Fiance match his groomsmen when he figured they could wear whatever they want.
You jumped the gun here by not talking to your Fiance first. I think if Fiance really wants this him and you should buy your other Bridesmaid or Best Man the dress he wants.
Post # 15
You are both getting married. This isn’t the Bride Show, so yes, your FH should have the same input as you about the total look of the Wedding Party – they are his pictures, memories and wedding party, too. I am so surprised sometimes by the idea that the woman should have most of the say about everything. Teamwork, people – it’s good for a marriage, lol!
Anyway…the problem I guess is that you hadn’t consulted him in the beginning about what his ‘dream’ wedding party looked like? So you told your girls one thing and then he popped in about another? If not, and he simply changed his mind later, too bad, brotha! Too late. Even if she had told you that the budget was $200 in the beginning, she found something for $68! Now telling her to spend another $100 on something she didn’t even get to pick is of course going to be annoying. Tell your FH the situation and that if this is so important to him he should have spoken up in the beginning or else he can give her the $100 to upgrade to his new choice. I think that’s as fair as you can get. Or, if she really won’t mind (well she will, obvs, but not out loud) then I would say save up some extra money down the line to do something special for her to make up for the blindside.
Post # 16
Ok, I agree that Fiance should have say in the wedding, but not necessarily the attire of the wedding part on YOUR side. If he’s THAT set on it then HE can pay her $100 difference. I would be PISSED if my friend’s Fiance was like, “No, you need to spend $100 more than you originally thought.” She probably spent a lot of time looking for a really good deal, only to be told “Eh, no, Fiance said so.”
So either you get on the same page and stop saying Fiance wants it and say you BOTH want it, or you talk to Fiance about it. Just because he thinks he wants uniformity for your girls doesn’t mean it needs to happen. I don’t get that at all.