(Closed) Ugh. i feel like a total ‘zilla.

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
907 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Just out of curiosity, is there a cost difference between the dress she chose and the one you picked out?

Post # 4
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Why does your Fiance want them in the same dress?

Post # 5
Member
683 posts
Busy bee

I would just try to make it up to her in some way- she will get over the annoyance of it.

Post # 7
Member
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Yea, why does he want them in the same dress? I wouldn’t say you’re a bridezilla.. yet. Take the time to talk to your bridesmaid and ask her if she can return it and buy the other dress. She is probably confused because you told her two different things. I’m sure you can work it all out. In the end, it’s not going to matter what they wear, unless there is a huge reason why your fiance doesn’t want them in different dresses.

Post # 8
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@AJ-n-Ashley: You could pay the difference in the dresses. $100 difference is a lot.

Post # 9
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Why does your FH care about what dresses they are wearing? I would just let them wear whatever floor length black dresses they want! Your FH will not notice or care on the wedding day!

Post # 11
Member
7695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

@AJ-n-Ashley: To be honest I dont think your FH needs to have any part in choosing your BMs dresses…. let him have 100% control of the groomsmen suits/tuxes but he doesnt need to have an opinion on the Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses – do what is best for your friends!

Post # 12
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@PitBulLover: I agree.

Fiance gets to pick his groomsmen attire, you get to pick your bridesmaids attire.

Post # 13
Member
1767 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I agree that he doesn’t need to have a say in what they wear! And I know that I would be EXTREMELY irritated if I was suddenly told to buy a dress that was $100 more than what I’d already gone to the trouble to find.

In the end, I think it matters most that your bridesmaids are happy in what they wear.

Post # 14
Member
4771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I disagee I think your Fiance should have an opinion.  They are gonna be his pics too and he apparently likes matching.

I made my Fiance match his groomsmen when he figured they could wear whatever they want.

You jumped the gun here by not talking to your Fiance first.  I think if Fiance really wants this him and you should buy your other Bridesmaid or Best Man the dress he wants.

Post # 15
Member
1267 posts
Bumble bee

You are both getting married.  This isn’t the Bride Show, so yes, your FH should have the same input as you about the total look of the Wedding Party – they are his pictures, memories and wedding party, too.  I am so surprised sometimes by the idea that the woman should have most of the say about everything.  Teamwork, people – it’s good for a marriage, lol!

Anyway…the problem I guess is that you hadn’t consulted him in the beginning about what his ‘dream’ wedding party looked like?  So you told your girls one thing and then he popped in about another?  If not, and he simply changed his mind later, too bad, brotha!  Too late.  Even if she had told you that the budget was $200 in the beginning, she found something for $68!  Now telling her to spend another $100 on something she didn’t even get to pick is of course going to be annoying.  Tell your FH the situation and that if this is so important to him he should have spoken up in the beginning or else he can give her the $100 to upgrade to his new choice.  I think that’s as fair as you can get.  Or, if she really won’t mind (well she will, obvs, but not out loud) then I would say save up some extra money down the line to do something special for her to make up for the blindside.

Post # 16
Member
6892 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Ok, I agree that Fiance should have say in the wedding, but not necessarily the attire of the wedding part on YOUR side. If he’s THAT set on it then HE can pay her $100 difference. I would be PISSED if my friend’s Fiance was like, “No, you need to spend $100 more than you originally thought.” She probably spent a lot of time looking for a really good deal, only to be told “Eh, no, Fiance said so.”

So either you get on the same page and stop saying Fiance wants it and say you BOTH want it, or you talk to Fiance about it. Just because he thinks he wants uniformity for your girls doesn’t mean it needs to happen. I don’t get that at all.

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