(Closed) Ugh! i need to vent about my B

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
967 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@MissQue_toBe:  Breeeeeathe! Unfortunately, I wish that I could have advised you to wait a little longer to do the choosing of BMs and looking for dresses. If you haven’t picked dresses yet, just leave it alone, and here’s why:

Your relationships and tastes/wedding ideas are going to change a lot over the next year and several months. Don’t start the stress and drama now. You can pick out stuff you like, make a Pinterest account, and sure, even book a venue if you find one you really like, but DON’T start the bridal party drama yet. No meetings, no serious discussions, no nothing. Save yourself more than a year of stress.

Post # 4
Member
1070 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Honestly, I agree with his sisters.  I don’t think you should ask his sisters to spend a bunch of money on some princess dress they will never wear again.  If you want a very specific dress that is not to the bridesmaids taste, you should pay for it.  The bridesmaids SHOULD get a say in the dress they wear.  You should be dress shopping together, not you pick a dress and tell them to wear it.  This is just my opinion, but you need to take your bridesmaid views, taste, body shapes, income etc into account when picking a dress with them.  If you really dont want them in your bridal party suggest a different role for them, like doing a reading or having them hand out programs

Post # 5
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m really curious to see what these bridemaid’s dresses look like, do you have a pic? 

As a former bridesmaid and a future bride, I can honestly say I see both sides of the bridesmaid dress debate.  I’ve been forced in the past to purchase HIDEOUS bridesmaid dresses that will never again see the light of day.  I also take issue with having to wear the same dress as five other women, all of whom have different body types, but ultimately it’s your decision.  As a bridesmaid, I was hurt when my friend didn’t even take us shopping and just told us which dress to order.  However, my other friend took us shopping several times and ended up finding a dress online and selecting it after we had all given her our approval.  I think you have every right to have the final say — I have seen some really hideous bridal parties that were the result of each bridesmaid buying a dress in the same color.  There are so many shades of any given color that your palette could look completely muddled if you don’t have the final say. 

My advice: try a little compromising, unless you’re paying for it.  Your bridesmaids will feel more confident and beautiful if they are wearing dresses that truly flatter their bodies.  However, it’s YOUR wedding and you definitely deserve to have the final say.  Best of luck!

Post # 7
Member
665 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It’s deffinately time to think. I’m so eager to pop the question to my intended bridesmaids, but I know relationships will change. A way to maybe get their taste in there is to have a reconcilliation party with your bridal party and say ladies lets sit down and discuss this theme, and let them pick which princess they would like to represent.Try before hand to write out your key must haves for the dress. (the length, the neckline, etc.) I think its ok to have a perticular picture in mind. for example, I don’t want any strapless dresses in my party because I find it irritating when i have to pull up my bra/ dress constantly, and I don’t what my ladies to have to do that. The other thing you could do is look at renting dresses and then they can change into whatever they want after the pictures are done. And please post some pics! I’d love to see

Post # 9
Member
1463 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you should ask them out for dinner and voice your concerns. After they have heard them ask them to give you a date that they will accomplish the task. Tell your fiancee what you have done and if the date comes and they have not completed the task then remove them from the wedding party.

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