(Closed) UGH!! Im Catholic, he is not PLUS….

posted 8 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
Member
1986 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You usually have to have the date set 6 months ahead of time regardless of situation.  Since you also need an annulment and he has been deployed so you can’t do the necessary couples counseling together I don’t see how a church wedding can happen in 5 months.

Post # 4
Member
873 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I’m not Catholic, so I don’t have any advice to give, but the fact that your priest is ‘cool’ about this is a good sign.  Has he told you that you will be able to get everything organized in 5 months?  I would continue to seek his advice on the matter.  Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’m with bamm, speak to your priest about your concerns. I gather you’ve been going to your church for a long time so I’m sure that he’ll do everything that he can to help you.

Post # 6
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Talk to your priest. I know firsthand that my friend’s catholic wedding was done quickly, even though the groom was stationed in Korea for 2 years. I think they got a “pass” on the traditional counseling b/c they only met like once with him. He’ll work with you, but voice your concerns. The annullment is where I’d be most concerned about getting that done.

Post # 7
Member
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

The annulment is going to take the most amount of time… all the rest of the paperwork and Pre-Cana stuff can easily be handled in 5 months.  I agree with the other posters about talking to your priest.  He will be your best source on trying to figure what you can get done in a reasonable amount of time.  Your Fi is deployed, but do you know if there is a priest on his base?  Most well-established bases have a base priest that can help speed along the annulment process since he isn’t physically near you. 

Post # 8
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

He should still be able to get the ball rolling while deployed.  It may mean a day where he has to work on that instead of speaking with you, etc, but it needs to be started ASAP.  I had a bride who was waiting on her FI’s annulment and in the 1.5 years they were engaged it didn’t come through.

Also, there is no guarantee the annulment will even come through. There’s a whole investigative process it goes through and it looks at the moment the covenant became valid, not what happens after the marriage covenant.  

For more info see

http://www.ewtn.com/expert/answers/annulment.htm

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/alternativestodivorce/ht/annulment.htm

The second is a step by step shows what is needed. It also gives an 16 month time frame.

Post # 9
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

are you sure your Fiance and his ex-wife even willing to go through with the annulment? if there are kids involved, i think it may be unlikely.

Post # 10
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Has he started the annulment process yet? If not, I doubt you are going to be able to be married in five months. It took my parents two and a half years and a lot of money when my father wanted to remarry in the church.

Post # 11
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I just want to throw out there that the ex doesn’t technically have to be “willing” to go through it, as long as your Fiance is.

The church does recognize the marriage of christians regardless of if they are Catholic or not, so in order to get married in the church and stay in proper standing with the church, he’s going to have to get an annulment….

Post # 12
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Hmmm perhaps I’m a “confused catholic” but if he’s not Catholic why does he need an anullment? I thought the church didn’t recognize non-Catholic weddings… there are so many rules I seem to have missed!

Edit: Ahhh sorry, I was just confused, don’t mind me. I just read the above post by @KLP2010

Post # 13
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

 It’s all good, I was thinking that too at first, lol.  I had to refrence Church documents for the answer! That post was orig. starting out,

“Oh, he’s NOT Catholic… well, then in that case….”

Then it was like… oops. delete! lol

NOW, the one thing I’m not technically clear on is the marriage of “non baptized” Christians or the marriage of a Baptized to non-baptized.  OR… non-baptized in a Christian ceremony….

What I do know, is that it looks at the time of vows.  At the moment of the marriage there has to be something that is keeping the Marriage Covenant from being sealed.  i.e. No intent of fidelity.  Lying about the will to have children… etc.  

Post # 14
Member
3344 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

So, if his previous marriage wasn’t in a christian church, he doesn’t have to do annulment right?

I think you will have to ask the Diocese for a “dispensation” if he is not Catholic.  Our priest explained that in that process he would write a letter to the diocese basically saying that he supports you in your marriage and to ask permission, and the Bishop will write a letter basically giving permission to your priest.

Post # 15
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

No, if he is a baptized Christian he will need one. It could have been in a corthouse with a justice of the peace…. but he’d still need one in order to get married in a way his fiance can get married in the church to him.

Just like in many other area’s of the church’s view of marriage… it’s not about “legal” aspects of the marriage but the intent of the marriage covenant.  

Post # 16
Member
4123 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Again, I’m not sure of the technicalities though of non-baptized or the combo baptized/non-baptized in a non-catholic wedding in regards to annulments. 

The topic ‘UGH!! Im Catholic, he is not PLUS….’ is closed to new replies.

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