(Closed) Ugh It’s none of your business why I want to adopt!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I totally agree! My  husband and I are around the same age (26, 30) and we’re considering adoption in lieu of biological children. When people ask when we’re going to get pregnant and we explain this is an option we get comments like, “You won’t love them as much as your own…”  It drives me batshit crazy.

 We won’t be ready to make a final decision for a few years, but if we do adopt it will definitley be a family of children out of the foster system.

Post # 18
Member
3010 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

D’aw, that’s so amazing that you want to adopt.  Congratulations on making a decision such as that.  I wish you the best of luck.  

Post # 19
Member
921 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think it’s great what you want to do. Just tell any nay sayers to shove it :p

Post # 19
Member
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

View original reply
@tiffyb24: Oh, the kids making videos made me tear up. I’m so glad you and your Fiance will give a child a wonderful forever home 🙂

Post # 20
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’m with you.  There are so many people who would never dream of going to a dog breeder when there are so many homeless dogs, but would never pass up the chance to produce another human reflection of themselves.  

The aggressive way to deal with people who act like it’s their business to to hint that you’re infertile and that it’s too painful for you to talk about it.  People who don’t get adoption often think that infertility is the worst plague that could be visited upon a woman and will back off.

Post # 21
Member
1179 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I wouldn’t blame you at all if you just outright told people that, because you’re right–it’s none of anyone’s business. Your kids will always be your kids, no matter how they come into your life!

Post # 22
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@maureen9004: “You won’t love them as much as your own” That is a terrible thing for someone to say!! It takes a strong, caring and loving person to adopt. I guess those people aren’t strong, caring or loving especially to say something like that! I’m glad that you are thinking about a family of children. I couldn’t imagine being separtated from my siblings. You guys are making me cry 🙂

Post # 23
Member
3363 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I think its a wonderful and very personal decision! =) Sad not everyone can share in our own joy. What a wonderful thing you and your Hubby are doing! Blessings!! xo

Post # 24
Member
1941 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I can’t believe that people are giving you a hard time about adopting. I vote (like another PP said) that you tell them that it’s none of their business, because it isn’t. My Fiance and I have talked about adopting, but for diff reasons. I want to have a little girl so badly, but boys run very strong through his family’s side, so we will adopt if we don’t have our own. Talking about that has opened us up to the idea of adopting irregardless if we do have our own little girl or not. And I’m only 24.

I think it’s great that people want to adopt, and it doesn’t just have to be couples with infertility issues!

ps – lol at 

View original reply
@mightywombat: “There are so many needy kids in the world; why aren’t you adopting?”

Post # 25
Member
545 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

View original reply
@tiffyb24: I feel the exact same way! My siblings and I spent a short time in foster care, but we got out quickly thanks to my grandmother, and my parents got their acts together. There are many children who are not that lucky. They don’t have those family members willing to do it, and there are some who don’t have parents who make the effort to get their acts together and get their kids back. It’s sad, because once they are 18, the system pretty much just tosses you out without much support or help.

Post # 26
Member
1086 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Oh that is awesome! Good for you! Don’t let others give you their opinions!!

Post # 27
Member
3048 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I am a thankful adoptee. Tell them to eff off… you ARE having your OWN kids. Wow.

Post # 28
Member
189 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
@maureen9004:  “You won’t love them as much as your own…”  It drives me batshit crazy.

I am still shocked at the ignorance of people who say this. I feel bad for the kids who have parents who think like this. Unconditional love is not just about physcially having a baby. It’s about opening your heart, home, and soul to another life that needs nurturing. 

 

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