(Closed) Ugh It’s none of your business why I want to adopt!

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
Member
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

Have you ever thought that they were just curious and simply asking, instead of them being nosy? You always have a choice in how you respond to questions about it, and instead of feeling like you have to or should defend your decision, just answer them (or not). You don’t really owe anyone an explanation, but I would think that maybe people are just being curious about a decision like that. I know I would be.

Post # 33
Member
5789 posts
Bee Keeper

That IS crossing a line then. Some people just have no filter, huh?

Post # 35
Member
676 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

@mightywombat: I love your comeback! “There are so many needy kids in the world; why aren’t you adopting?”

Post # 36
Member
1571 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think people need to mind their own damn business. Adoption is such a selfless way to expand your family. But like you said, it’s none of their business!

Post # 37
Member
3048 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

View original reply
@ItWasntMe: Yea, it’s not bad to ask why you’re adopting. But to dig deeper with someone you don’t even know is disrespectful. Also, when you try to convince them NOT to adopt or to try something before you adopt… that is just wrong. There is nothing wrong with adoption for many different reasons. People act like they are saving you from adopting by suggesting other routes. Um ok, I understand that birthing a child is wonderful and you love them… not NOt brithing a child and adopting one produces the same love IMO.

Post # 38
Member
2536 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

It’s wonderful you want to adopt so that these forgotten kids know that people love them and want them around. Don’t listen to anyone who tells you anything against your decision. It’s wonderful.

Post # 40
Member
7367 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I don’t have kids yet but always wanted to adopt in addition to having bio kids. My FH isn’t to fond of the idea, but I’m working on him. We need more couples like you. Unforutnely, people are ignorant to this issue, see as an opportunity to educate them.

Post # 41
Member
71 posts
Worker bee

I think that is a wonderful idea!  I feel like the older kids up for adoption are often skipped because people want babies.  The world needs more people like you two!

Post # 42
Member
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I’m pretty much planning on adopting – part of it IS due to my age (34 – and no ring in sight atm), but another part is that I ahve 2 cousins, 2 friends and their mother, and a half brother who were all adopted, and most of thm seem to have had pretty good lives – better than they would with their birth parents.  I’m not someone who favors the idea of abortion for babies whose mothers/familes are unable to care for them, AND with the world heading towards a population crisis, it makes more sense to take a child already born and given him or her a home than to create one to two more kids just to pass on my genetics.  I’ve been around kids, so people who fear you can’t love a kid that doesn’t share your genes have never had their hear melt when that little one falls asleep in your lap, or smiles at you. 

If you want to adopt, plenty of kiddos need good people to give them good lives.  Anyone who tried to discourage you has no business doing so.

Post # 43
Member
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@tiffyb24: Kudos to you! I live and work in Thailand, and not only are a significant number of my students adopted, but our school community is also hugely active working in orphanages and foster care homes in our local area. I have seen first-hand how indescribably precious it is for an orphan to be adopted, and while it’s not always easy, their gratitude is just overwhelming. It’s been a humbling journey for me to witness. I hope you will have a wonderful experience.

Post # 44
Member
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I think its awesome!! HUbs and I don’t plan on having kids, but if we change our minds later on, then we plan to adopt. Just like you, older kids who really need someone. What you are doing is beyond selfless, even more so than having bio kids

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