(Closed) Ugh, MOMS. (bit of a long story/vent, sorry!)

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think it probably had a lot to do with your grandmother bypassing her.  Perhaps it really hurt her feelings – my grandmother did something similar with my grandfather’s rings, (years ago), and my mother still hasn’t entirely gotten over it.  Not that she is actively angry/hurt about it anymore, but it is still a somewhat touchy subject.  I think she felt like her mother was rejecting/denying the relationship that she had with her father.

  Maybe it is something like this going on?  I’d let it slide – as we all know, our relationships with our mothers can be very complicated and your mother has her own, layered relationship with her own mom that you, regardless of how close you all are, can’t fully understand. 

What it boils down to is: forget it!  Totally not worth over-thinking.  Congrats on your engagement!

ETA: as for her being irritated about the way you guys are choosing to get engaged, I’m sure it’s really irritating but try to just ignore it.  If you guys are really close, it will blow over and she’ll be really happy for you

Post # 4
2867 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Maybe she’s just irritated because she thinks he isn’t treating you well. She might see the fact that you had to get your ring made from stones you already had coupled with him holding on to it instead of proposing right away – as him not really committing to the engagement.

You know your relationship better than she does though so obviously this isn’t true (you wanted to use that ring and would like a special proposal). However, maybe from her POV it’s kind of lowered her image of him and her comments about him are just her way of trying to “protect” you (Mom’s always get cranky when they think their children aren’t being treated right).

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