- 7 years ago
I’ve posted before about my FMIL and FSIL, just when my FI and I get to a good point and are moving forward and not letting the issues drag us back down something else happens.
So my FI and have really gotten to a great point with US and moving past this, we agreed to NOT let this continue to bring us down and destroy us that one way or the other his family has to accept it. Things were great for a week, we didn’t hear from them and it was bliss. My FI mom called over the weekend, they started with a civil talk about just life, then she starts in and says I know your not happy, we need to make you realize your not happy, this isn’t right for you, and I know you just can’t see it right now! Mind you, she didn’t even ask if I was around before she started in about this, just went off. He laid into her, he said just when he thinks things are moving forward she goes and does this he said he is happier than he ever was and it’s sad his family can’t see this, he told her today was such a great day for him because we went ring shopping and picked our wedding bands, but he can’t even share in that joy with her, and he ended it and said he had to go. He was upset and I was upset; we discussed it, but didn’t dwell or let it ruin our day.
Then the next day, he gets a text from his sister, saying she needs to fix these issues and that this person isn’t her brother, and the brother she once knew would never do these things to them ( what things??? Us getting married, and not putting up with them degrading me and our relationship?)
THEN, now the kicker, FFIL calls my father! They aren’t close, they have only met once, he is a nice guy, my FI tried going to him in the beginning when all the issues with his mom and sister started 7 months ago, but being that his mom and his dad don’t get along, his dad said he wanted to stay out of it and not get involved and his only suggestion/advice was you know how they are. So now he calls my father, My dad is annoyed that his father is now trying to stir up issues, He thinks my FI parents are beyond messed up, but his advise is to move on and not let them get to us and that my FI needs to stand his grand and be firm with them ( which he has been) So my dad is pretty annoyed that his father calls him to start hashing up all these issues again. FFIL said that FSIL is depressed and that it’s not fair what is being done to her, that she should be allowed to be in the wedding. My dad is very frank and put it all out there like, why would my daughter want to be around someone on her wedding day who treated her this way, and can’t stand her, and why would YOUR daughter even want to be around someone she couldn’t stand to be around. He used the shower as an example. And asked him if he has had any idea what’s been going on the last 7 months, and he admitted he didn’t (which he did because some of the backlash was due to him and his gf that my FI was trying to defend).
I’m upet all over again, I talked to my FI who is super pissed his dad called my dad…like hello we are grown adults here, not kids. And he is pissed that him and I made a decision together that had everyone’s best interest in mind, and that was that it would be best if she wasn’t in the wedding for her sake, my sake, and my FI sake. She is going to do a reading but why does she so badly need to be in the wedding when she doesn’t even approve and hates me. I feel like my wedding has been to be about his sisters feelings and wants and not even thought to consider that it’s my wedding and I should have to feel uncomfortable and stressed out. She not only hates me but my bridesmaids as well, and her only reasoning is because they are my friends and I talk to them about the situation.