- 4 years ago
So it has been a trialing last 2.5 months dealing with marital issues and getting no where.
<br />As you can see from my previous posts, Hubby and I have been having a ridiculously difficult time.
I have been placing so much effort into making things better, as any wife/spouse should, with no effort from Husband at all.
And things are steadily declining. To sum everything up…Since the day of our wedding, he has changed, things have been horrible, and I feel so lost. I dont even know who he is anymore. I feel like now that he has “got me” his part is done.
The day of our wedding he secretly announced to random friends, that if we dont conceive this year, we aint having kids. AND he doesnt get the issue with this comment! The fact that this was not discussed between us as a couple and he was spouting this news off to people at OUR wedding. When this news got back to me, because little did SO remember, he spouted this off to my Best friend and her husband. Who were both devastated by this!! Sad thing is, when i brought this up to him, he couldnt remember who he told it too. In his words “I’ve probably told 3000 ppl that. You woman take things out of context.”
Has started lying to me about stupid things he does. Eg. Hanging out with female neighbor, having a drink at her house. Caught him lying, and he tried justifying his lying by not considering a lie a lie. His words, “well if thats how you want to see it.” Further justifying his lies because he feels like he cant do what he wants. I tried to explain boundaries and respect. In this situation, you dont go to another womans house to hang out, specially when your wife has had issues with her in the past. And being truthful isnt going to create the issues lying does. If he was going to my best friends for a drink, hell go for it. Get drunk! Boundaries.
He now blames me for the reason why he does see if family, which is such a farse because i am always on his ass about making dates with his family so we can see them! And when i say on his ass, i mean saying things like, ” we shoudl really plan a weekend with your brother and wife and son, maybe do water park or bowling!”
He tries to go on like nothing is the matter. I have begged for communication,. I have begged for him to prioritize and give me time in his life, show that he wants to be with me minus when he needs sex.
Everytime I have tried to have a conversation with him, he just starts yelling. Or says, “I am who i am, and im not going to change.” or ” this is what you married, why do you want me to change now?”
Sad thing is, this is never how it was. We never fought (minus stupid minute things, usually me just being moody which would end up in me apologizing and us laughing it out!)
After alll our conversations that seem to take place once a week, theyend up in me bawling my eyes out, him yelling and going down stairs finishing his night with watching TV and not talking for 2 days until he wants to randomly text me to pretend nothing happens.
I have told him that if things dont get better, and he doesnt start to put an effort in, i will be gone. AND nothing has gotten better.
Im not looking for anyone to tell me to get divorced, or tell me what to do. I am just so lost, sad, confused and feel broken. How could we have been best friends and now turned into this. Night and day. He used to be my everything adn now i cant stand even being in the same room as him, or even to see his face. He has dispected me and continued to disrespect with no sense or remorse or regrett. I am exhausted and tired or being tired and tired of crying.
I know the last thing i shoudl be worried about is what other people think, but how do you not!? We just got married. I have heard of these situations, one person totally changing after marriage, never thought it was true…. well im living it.