(Closed) Ugh need to vent.. overnight guests..

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I don’t see why you have to see him every single time he’s in town, knowing full well he is going to want to stay. You can tell him you are sorry, but you have other obligations and won’t be able to see him until he is in town the next time

Post # 4
4824 posts
Honey bee

I would say 

Sorry Bill. We are completely booked this weekend and we won’t be around and then work is hectic next week. It would have helped if you had given us more notice. We are going to have to catch up with you next time you are in town

Post # 5
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@moderndaisy:Have u and your Darling Husband thought of saying no? I know you dont like it, but if you and your Darling Husband can get on the same page, you might be able to say no, yes but only for a short time, or just tell him u guys dont have the time, etc. So many choices. 

Has your Darling Husband ever consider saying no sometimes??

Post # 6
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

If thats his signature style to always expect to stay then I wouldnt meet up with him. I would send a him a msg similar to what Lefeymw posted above and let that be the end of it. I think as long as you allow him to stay over he will continue to overstay his welcome.

Post # 8
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Ugh, how annoying. But until you say NO Bill will continue to use your apartment as his bed and breakfast!

Post # 9
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I wouldn’t rearrange plans, which it sounds like you aren’t going to this time, and maybe make plans to see him on Sunday – away from the apartment. Maybe go out to dinner or something so the temptation isn’t there for him to crash when you and Darling Husband go to sleep.

I agree with you, it is annoying that he does this and expects to stay with you. I always try to stay in a hotel when I visit friends, unless they offer to let me stay over – even then it’s only for a night or two.

Post # 10
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

We used to have a 1 bed/1 bath apt which was a nightmare with guests so I understand why you are annoyed. Has your husband already told him it’s ok? If not, I would have him say this is really short notice and that this is bad weekend for him to stay. A night or 2 you could suck it up but I’d definitely say no to someone who doesn’t tell you when they are going to be leaving.

I honestly never understood why people wanted to come and stay with us in our teeny place either. My Brother-In-Law and SIL would come up for a weekend away from their kids and spend 2 nights on the floor of our living room on an Aerobed- not how I would want to spend an “adults-only” weekend with my husband. I’ve learned people will do pretty much anything to save themselves a few bucks sometimes.

Post # 11
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

Im sorry youre in this situation…

I would advise that you sacrifice your need to please FI’s relatives for your own sanity!

There isn’t one decision that will make everything easy…so I think you have to choose which is worse- for the family to be peeved or for you to be inconvenienced to such an extreme degree everytime your cousin decided to pop into town…

Good luck!

Post # 12
2232 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@lefeymw: That’s perfect. Just say something along those lines. 

Our place is a tad bigger, just a small den but not even big enough for an air matress. FI has a cousin who was visiting here from overseas. I was really excited to see him at first but then it turned out that he was here for 4 months!! Thankfully he didn’t stay with us the entire time but he did end up staying here for a whole month altogether. I was going crazy at the end so I don’t fault you at all!

Post # 13
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

umm what a mooch. I love having guests, but someone like that? no thanks!

Tell him that while you’ve enjoyed having him 5x before, you’re booked solid that weekend with prior commitments and it’s too short of notice. You coudl even mention that you have a different guest already staying.

I feel like people in big cities get hit up a LOT. I sorta understand because NYC is $$$. Last time I visited NYC I spent $250 a night on a crappy hotel that I wouldn’t have paid $50 for in any other city.

Post # 16
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

That’s just unbelievable rude of him.  I can’t believe the family would be disappointed to know that you didn’t want someone crashing on your couch for an undetermined amount of time.  How old is Bill? I would probably make plans with him on Sunday, but tell him that you have a busy week ahead and you’re sorry, but you won’t be able to accomodate a guest when he asks to stay.  Who just springs that on someone anyways??

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