(Closed) ugh seriously why?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
12953 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

This is probably not what you want to hear, but I would have asked all three to wear a dress – at least for the ceremony and the pictures.  When you agree to be in a bridal party, you agree to buying the dress and wearing what the bride tells you.  I think it’s a little unfair to say that B can wear pants but your sister can’t, when your sister is also bringing up comfort concerns (feeling fat in front of a group of people can certainly make someone uncomfortable).

If I agreed to be in a bridal party, I’d agree to wear whatever the bride wants, even if it made me uncomfortable for a little while.

Post # 4
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If I were you I would just cave and let your sister wear the pants and shirt as well.  Especially if you think she’s doing it for attention, don’t let it become a big blow-out between the two of you, because then she WILL get the attention she seeks.

Post # 5
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Is she (the cousin/friend, not your sister) also friends with your fiance?  Could you have her be a groomswoman instead of a bridesmaid? 

That seems offensive now that I’ve written it, but if it would even out the sides and you can tell your sister she can wear pants if she stands on the other side your friend might be ok with it, but I’d ask first. 

Post # 6
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@brittanyfm91:  Does she want to wear the exact outfit as your Bridesmaid or Best Man B? If so then let her (BUT I would speak with Bridesmaid or Best Man B and make sure she won’t feel mocked by your sister’s immaturity). Your sister has to wither wear the dress or the sam exact outfit as Bridesmaid or Best Man B.

If I were you, I’d say “Sorry Mum but she isn’t in the wedding if she’s going to pull this crap”

Post # 8
3053 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Eh, to me this is a pick your battles situation….and this isn’t a battle I’d pick. I’d let her wear the suit. Hell, I’d let her wear a clown suit if she wanted to look like an idiot. And I’d laugh at her all night lol If B is okay with it and doesn’t mind someone else being in the same outfit she’s in (which let’s be honest, she should NOT care. If she does mind, she’s acting like a diva), then let her wear what she wants and choose another battle that inevitably will come up

Post # 9
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Sorry, but I think that by having two separate standards for your BMs you opened up this possibility. With three BMs, one of them will look like the odd one out with two different options.

Post # 11
1460 posts
Bumble bee

@brittanyfm91:  I would let her wear the same option as the other bridesmaid (the pants bow tie ect)

“So i tried to explain to her that B isn’t wearing a dress because it’s about her self identity not that she hates dresses”
In your sisters defense, it’s not fair to force her to wear a dress because she is a hetrosexual and identifies as straight, since that is the other side of the coin in your reasoning with her. If one bm is wearing the pants ect, what does it matter if two are?

Post # 13
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I would just show her the exact outfit B is going to wear, slacks, purple shirt, and bowtie, and tell her it’s this or the dress. I know I would rather wear the dress than a bowtie.

Post # 15
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@brittanyfm91:  That does make an important distinction that your sister appears to be acting “special snowflake” as 2 in 10 wearing pants instead of it being only 3 total.

What seems most surprising to me is your friend would rather not stand up with you at your wedding than wear a dress.

Post # 16
9074 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

So, you didn’t want one bridesmaid to feel uncomfortable so you’re letting her wear something she’s comfortable in.

Another bridesmaid says she’ll feel uncomfortable….. and you’re not letting her..



Uh huh.

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