Post # 1
So I went to the police academy this past year. I made a friend in my class which I was excited about because it’s so hard to make friends after college. She slept with one of our (married) classmates, and made a pass at a lot of our other classmates. I didn’t pass judgement because she’s 24 and has issues with men. At the end of the academy we did firearms instruction. A lieutenant from the police department was one of our instructors and they liked eachother. The lieutenant knew we were friends and wanted me to help him hook up with her. I wasn’t comfortable with it, but I told her what was going on since she had a crush on him. We went to the local dive bar as a class one night after shooting. So we’re at the bar and the instructor shows up and they start flirting like crazy. Instructor cornered me for 15 minutes and wanted me to be his personal love coach. A cadet and instructor hooking up is a huge no-no and would result in termination for both. I told him it was a bad idea. One by one classmates started leaving, until it was just me, my friend, and the instructor. I left because I could tell they were getting physical and I didn’t want to be there witnessing that anymore. My classmate texted me later saying he was married but didn’t care.
The next day two classmates were talking about how obvious the instructor and my friend were being. I was uncomfortable with what I saw so I said it was weird and inappropriate but not to say anything so they wouldn’t get in trouble. We graduated a month ago and it never came up again. Today my friend texts me saying I must have told people they hooked up because multiple people asked her if they had sex. I told her I didn’t and everything else I wrote here about them being obvious. She said I had no place to say anything at all. I told her that I never told anyone they had sex, because I didn’t. I told her it would have looked like I was covering something up if I told the classmates talking about it that nothing happened, because they were there and saw it. She stopped talking to me after I said that.
Do I suck? I think I suck. I shouldn’t have said anything.
Post # 3
No you don’t suck. Just get ready bc my hubs comes home from work a lot (also law enforemt) and theres always some in house relationship going on…. a bunch of times not allowed… Same stations higher rank and lower on the totem pole relationships.
try not to get involved at all. It can get you jammed up as well
Post # 4
@newcitylights: I honestly don’t think you need a friend like that…JS because that isn’t quality and I am SURE you could find better
Post # 5
@newcitylights: Woah. You don’t suck at all. It’s not your job to cover up her actions. Friends don’t put friends in compromising situations.
I agree, it’s really hard to find friends after college (definitely struggling here) but it sounds like you can do better!
Post # 6
People will see what they want to see and think what they want to think, no matter what the truth is. I’ve learned from past experience that, in the long run, it’s pointless to chase after someone brandishing the truth if they’re determined to believe something else.
I’m sorry you’re losing a friend because she won’t believe you. It’s shitty.
Post # 7
+1 Your friends should reflect who you are.
Why get tied up with someone who thinks it is okay to sleep with a married man?
I am far from perfect, but there are some things I won’t accept in the people I associate with.
Post # 8
@newcitylights: Honestly, a girl like this sounds like nothing but trouble. Do you really want to spend your time listening to her drama over sleeping with married men? I definitely wouldn’t….
Also ~ if you’re just starting a professional career, I wouldn’t want to be associated with her either.
Post # 9
@newcitylights: I can’t imagine why on earth you would want to be friends with this person. She’s trash and she’s lashing out at you for her stupid, immoral, unethical choices.
Both she and that instructor should be fired. I hope someone turned them in.
Post # 10
It sounds to me like she knows it’s her fault and is just shunting responsibility off to you. Fairweather friend indeed!
Post # 11
@newcitylights: Lady! You don’t suck. She sounds like a crappy person, and I know you can find a better friend than that. I’d say cut your losses and move on.
Post # 12
. thanks ladies. She isn’t a very good friend and was always putting guys first ( like when she and I were going to go to a carnival together and she decided to exclude me and go with a guy instead). like I said, it’s just been so hard to make new friends since moving to FI’s area. I guess I’m just sad that this one didn’t workout.
what do I do about the save the date I sent her? send her an invitation next year and see if she shows up? I’d feel rude sending her a STD and no invite. I’m typing from my phone if that wasn’t obvious!
Post # 13
@newcitylights: She’s an idiot if she thinks she can behave like that and no one will think anything of it. She sounds pretty unstable to me, and seeking attention in all the wrong places.
Post # 14
You are not at fault. Your friend kinda had it coming.
Post # 15
She caused all of her own problems, not you.
She did you a favor by not talking to you anymore, in my opinion. It seems like being friends with her would way more trouble than it’s worth.
Post # 16
Nope you don’t suck, we’ve all been there. To keep it from getting messy, I’d just play dumb, and avoid talking about any subject other than work business with her.
I agree with weatherbug if you’re starting your career, she’s not someone that you want as your buddy. Coworkers may assume that you guys are both “doing” the same type of activities.
It is hard making friends but you’ve got whole board of bees here and I’m sure you can find someone in your area to chat it up with. There are meet-ups and social groups. Striking up a conversation with a stranger seems less risky than this girl. Good Luck 🙂