(Closed) Ugh, this isn’t happening!!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Kristyn02: Regardless of how long after you she was engaged she can pick whatever date she wants wherever she wants.  Yes it might be inconvieinent for some guests being invited to both weddings but in the end you can’t control it and your guests will have to choose.  As far as you questioning your parents not being invited…her wedding isn’t until June 2012 so assuming they aren’t invited at this point in time is a bit ridiculous.

Post # 4
Member
3257 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t think you should worry about whether your parents are invited because the date is so far out, but I do understand your being frustrated at your cousin choosing a date so extremely close to yours. I know other posters will probably tell you she has a right to do what she wants, but it would have been nice of her as your cousin to actually take into consideration when your date was if she was going to ask you in the first place. It sounds like a lot of people won’t be going because of the traveling expenses, so maybe it won’t affect your wedding anyways. I would just continue with your plans and not worry about it. Don’t vent to her or anyone in your family or it will just start drama; come to us here on WB if you need to spout off. 😛

Post # 5
Member
1473 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

That’s kind of crappy. I feel like I would be upset in that situation, too. Especially since you’ve been trying to communicate with her and especially since your date is the day after. I know that she can choose whatever date she wants, but that doesn’t mean what she did wasn’t rude. Because it is.

Don’t let it bother you, though. Yes, your family will have to choose but so be it. There really isn’t anything you can do about it. And your parents were probably the last to find out because her family was embarassed to call and tell them the date considering your date is literally the next day. I’m sure they’re invited but of course they won’t go. Don’t move you date and don’t freak out. It’s out of your hands so just go with the flow and plan YOUR wedding!

Post # 6
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Wait, so… you told her your date, and then found out that her date was the day before yours? Are you certain she chose her date after you chose yours? If she set her date after you set yours, then she’s a serious brat for trying to upstage you like that. If she set hers before you set yours… well, she might be having the same exact feeling you’re having now. Who knows? You should try to talk to her.

Post # 8
Member
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Kristyn02: Ohh, I understand now. Thanks for the clarification. If it were me, I wouldn’t change my date. It’s set and your venue is booked up and who knows how far back you’d have to move it? It would throw off all your planning. Your cousin made her decision, and it was an inconsiderate one, but I think all you can do now is just accept it and refocus on your wedding. :/

Post # 9
Member
7416 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Its unfortunate but its not the end of your world. Really, in two years it won’t matter. You did the generous thing of sharing your details but she wasn’t as thoughtful. I understand your frustration, but is out of your control. All you need to worry about now is having a beautiful wedding and sharing your day with the guests who can be there.

Post # 10
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’ll be honest, I would probably change it just to spare myself all the grief I know I’d get and how hard a time I would have with the whole thing, especially once the date gets closer. I’d be incredibly angry and probably confront my cousin, but change it so people could actually attend. But if I were you I would totally call and ask her why they chose that date, and why she couldn’t tell you herself instead of having you be blindsided about it by another relative??

Oh, and I’m assumign that your cousin is having an actual weding in Vegad and not eloping or something, right?

Post # 11
Member
715 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Kristyn02: YES! Get those Save the Date’s out SOON! Like this week! Get a friend to take some cute pictures of you and get moving on it. Yes, bitch move I guess, but if I found out someone had done what she did, I would do it. Oh, and send them to all family members, in town and out, just to make sure 🙂 Good luck!

Post # 12
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

OMG I would be so mad! You have every right to be pissed!

Post # 13
Member
3520 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I completely understand.  Keep in mind, though, that maybe that date has special meaning for them. 

This might happen even if the dates weren’t so close together.  My cousin in England is getting married a month after me, and all of our European family members are probably just going to go to hers and skip mine now.  Nonetheless, I wouldn’t want to rain on her parade, just like she wouldn’t want to on mine.  I say proceed as you’d like, and get those Save-The-Date Cards out!

 

Post # 14
Member
964 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@Kristyn02:i agree with your sister…GO KICK HER ASS!!! Just kidding;-)  if she is going to Vegas is she just having like a small ceremony…Vegas is kind of expensive to have your family fly out there. I know either way her mom and dad and probably the grandparents would still want to be at both and to fly to Vegas for a day for her wedding and then flying back the same day or next day for yours doesn’t make sense…this is a tough one…Sorry you have to go through this.like someone else said get your save the dates out and get the ball rolling on your end…you know what i take it back GO KICK HER ASS!!!

Post # 15
Member
6021 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

I am aware that the general opinion on this type of thing is that you only get one day and this other bride can choose what she wants when she wants. that general “rule” aside, this is a crappy move on her part IMO. If this were a friend or something I might feel differently. A big part of having a wedding celebration is having your family there and those close to you no? so if that is the case why would you do something that is going to make it a hard choice for your family when it comes to being able to make it to your day?. I just do not get it. You do as a bride, get only one day. But when its family, out of respect not just for the other bride but for your entire family that you share why not try if possible to pick a day thats not going to make things harder or awkward? it is possible and the fact that she chose literally a day before her cousin’s date is just crappy. Can she do it technically? sure. But should she? its just not very nice or considerate. I probably am in the minority in feeling this way but I agree and think you have a right to be annoyed. I would however, try and figure out a way to either be calm about it and accept that this is the situation now or if its possible move your date? Either way, Im sorry you are dealing with this situation now and I hope it all works out for you 🙂

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