Post # 1
Part question/ part vent to follow… Ever have one of those people who you just really dislike, even though they have never really done anything to you?
Fiance and I work together. We have a coworker who used to be very close with Fiance about 3-4 years ago. He never liked me, but not for any specific reason. Mostly he’s just an immature chauvinist who acts like he’s still in high school. He and Fiance have quietly been drifting apart since Fiance and I started dating, and it seems like no one was really all that upset about it.
However, because they were friends for a long time, Fiance still wants to invite him to the wedding. I don’t, because I really dislike this guy, but I agreed that Fiance could have final say on him since he was FI’s friend. Fiance emailed this guy twice now asking for his address so we could send him an invitation and he never replied. This makes me want to invite him even less, because I know he gave another coworker of ours his address for that other coworker’s wedding. He never replied to FI’s text telling him we were engaged either (he only got a text because he didn’t answer his phone for 3 days). At this point we’re only inviting him to keep harmony at the office. We’re not giving him a plus one (he’s single) and I think we’re both hoping he just doesn’t come. ugh.
The Question: Can I just stick his invitation in his work mailbox and be done with it, or do I have to try to track him down and make him give me his address?
Post # 3
If you have to invite him, I would just put it in his work mailbox. Although unconventional, there were a few people that we couldn’t get addresses for that my Fiance works with and I finally gave up and said he could just hand deliver them.
Post # 4
I think I would just put it in his mailbox. Obviously, he has some kind of block to it because he isn’t responding to the messages asking for his address.
Post # 5
If you really must invite him, put it in the work mailbox. Although why you (or your Fiance, rather) still want to invite someone who clearly does not want to be invited, I have no idea 🙂
Post # 6
I think for this I’d send him one last message that says basically hey if you want an invite for our wedding I need your address. If he doesn’t respond I’d just let it be. But if you really feel you must invite him regardless, its okay to put it in his mailbox
Post # 7
Ugh what a jerk! I guess just put it in his mailbox..he is lucky you guys are so nice and still trying to invite him! I know you want to keep the peace but really..he’s so rude!!
Post # 8
Oh, I would love it if would could just not invite him. If he were just a friend, he would have been off the list long ago. But we’re a small office and we’re inviting all the coworkers, so it would be really obvious if we excluded him. He’s also the biggest gossip I know, so if we don’t invite him it is guaranteed drama.
Post # 9
Ugh! Sorry to hear that. What a drama king. Yep, right in the work mailbox it goes.
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2010 - Tannery Pond at the Darrow School
Um, I would say that two ignored requests for an address means you don’t have to invite him.
I wouldn’t and if he really cared about being invited to the wedding, he would’ve responded so it seems like it probably wouldn’t matter that much!
Post # 11
Put it in his work mailox and just let it be!
Post # 12
i wouldnt even invite him since my rule was – if they are important enough to get invited, they should be considerate enough to fork over their address. so no address = no invite!!!
but if you MUST invite him, then yeah just throw it in his box at work. he apparently doesnt care about being proper so why should you care what he thinks!
oh and YES there is this one chick i CANT STAND at my FH’s job. dont know why. just something about her makes my red flag go up *shudder*
Post # 13
When it’s someone I don’t like, I go for direct. To me, in his mailbox = he can just not reply… but then maybe show up. I would just go up to his desk and say “hey, we’ve contacted you xx times for your address. Are you interested in giving it to us for a wedding invite or is your silence an early RSVP? Just checking so we know how much postage we’ll end up needing.” Or something snarky like that. Then he can’t ignore you- you’re right there!
Post # 14
I would just put it in his work mailbox. It sounds like he lacks serious social graces; he is not going to be bothered that you didn’t mail the invite to his house. I doubt he is even aware of that point of etiquette.
Post # 15
haha kjpugs, that would be so satisfying 😉
But yeah, I’m just going to drop it in his mailbox. If he refuses to rsvp and dodges our calls on that one, I’ll just send him an email saying something like “since you won’t get in touch with us about your rsvp and menu choice, we’re assuming that you can’t make it.” but I figure to keep the peace I’ll give him this one last chance.
Post # 16
I wouldn’t invite him personally.