Post # 1
My fiance has 2 sisters who are both married- one has 4 children (ages 7, 6, 6, and 4) and the other has 2 (ages 4 and 2). We also will have another kid at our wedding who will be 5 at the time.
The parents of these kids are in the wedding party, so they will be sitting at the head table during the reception. My fiance is pretty set on having a head table, so a sweetheart table is not really an option.
When we decided to have the parents in the wedding party, I was concerned about who would be watching/sitting next to the kids during the reception. He assured me that his parents would be able to “keep an eye on the kids”. I thought this meant sitting at the same table as them; but they are now saying that they dont want to sit at a table with just a bunch of kids.
Do you think it would be fine to have them at a separate “kids table” next to where my fiance’s parents will be sitting? Any advice on what to do?
Post # 2
- Wedding: September 2018 - City, State
I think with the ages noted (with the exception of the two year old) a kids table near FH parent’s table would work out. Make sure to have some coloring pages or activity to keep them busy. I would point out to FH that having them seperate may mean that his sisters may not be at the head table the entire time as their children may need them.
Post # 3
Maybe put the two year old at an “adult” table with the grandparents and the rest of the kids at their own table nearby?
Post # 4
Can you hire a baby sitter?
That’s a pretty big group of very small kids to just leave at their own table – especially the 4 and 2 year olds. The kids table might work, but the grandparents (or your SILs) will likely have to spend a lot of time over there. It may depend a bit on how unruly the kids are, but the kids that I know that age would run wild if they were left at their own table lol.
Post # 5
Are you having a buffet or plated dinner??
I’d have the 2 year old with the grandparents and maybe the 4 year old too. If you are having a plated dinner, get the kids served their kids meal first so that grandparents and parents will be able to get them fed before their meals arrive. The situation is what it is and you will probably not have their parents spending much time on the head table with that many kids at that age to be watched.
Post # 6
alexam : I think a kids’ table with activities and kid food near attentive adults would be fine. The homepage has a good article about kids at weddings. Can you hire an on-site sitter?
Post # 7
Yeah….that’s not going to work. Your fiance needs to give up on his head table. Those ages are not appropriate to be sitting at the table fending for themselves. Ok, the 7 year old….MAYBE the 6 year olds if they are super good but the others are a hard no. I’m actually laughing in my head right now at the idea of a kids table full of kids under 6. That whole scenario is a recipe for disaster and it’s their parents responsibility to feed them dinner and supervise them. Grandparents should not be stuck having to deal with the kids because your fiance wants their parents at a head table.
Post # 8
alexam : I wouldn’t seat 6 children that age at a table alone, no matter what the reason. I also wouldn’t take on the responisbility of arranging child minding for other people’s kids.
If you insist on a head table, which may not be realistic at all, I would ask the parents who they plan to have supervise their children during dinner. Tell them you need that information for your seating plan.
If they can’t suggest alternative seating for the children, you really need to allow them to sit at a table with their children. Just because your fiance wants it, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.
Post # 9
LMAO! Your SO has zero experience with children, I’m guessing?
Do not listen to him. He does not know what the hell he is talking about.
I agree with PP that your SO needs to let go of the head table idea or come up with a modified version. 7 kids under 10 at a table with no adult is a recipe for disaster and I say that as someone who had 7 kids running and playing freely at our wedding because that was the way we planned it.
ETA- remember this story and, if you are planning to have children, one day, when your kids are in this age range, just look at him and say “And you wanted 7 of them sitting at a table with no adult.”
Post # 10
Tell your fiancé to let go of the head table. It’s the easiest/best solution.
Post # 11
Has he actually eaten a meal with children before? Cause it kinda sounds like he hasn’t and has a pretty unrealistic idea of how six young kids are going to be self- sufficient and well- behaved alone at a table by themselves or with a stranger if you hire a babysitter in a new and unfamiliar setting surrounded by activity and strangers. It was also pretty rude of him to assume his parents would just be de facto babysitters and wouldn’t want to maybe enjoy their son’s wedding and feel free to socialize with their friends and family.
So what do the parents of these children think about this arrangement? They know their kids best.
Honestly, I would work on convincing him a head table isn’t appropriate in this circumstance. Perhaps plan a dinner out at a restaurant with both families and see how dinnertime with six kids really goes.
Plan B is make the head table extra big with kids, too, or see if either set of parents have a trusted babysitter you can buy dinner and pay an hourly wage to who is not someone who will already be at the wedding as a guest (don’t make your guests work – don’t care how cute or well-managed the kids may be, guests deserve to enjoy the wedding as they wish without tasks or obligations).
Post # 12
Have you talked to any of the parents to let them know they will be at a head table without their children? I wouldn’t be too keen on this idea to be honest and would be rather annoyed that my child would either need to sit alone, with its grandparents or a stranger watching them. Head tables annoy me for this reason. I’d tell them your FI’s plans and ask what they would prefer happens with their children, let them be parents and make the decision. Maybe they will push back and say no head table for me?
Post # 13
temeculabride : I was thinking the same thing. Why hasn’t anyone asked the parents what they want to do with their kids?
Post # 14
The two year old absolutely needs an adult with him or her. My kid is two and will not even stay in a chair for more than a couple minutes at a time unless someone is devoting their full attention to her. And she needs help cutting her food, not falling out of or tipping a chair, not randomly throwing stuff for no reason… 2 is barely out of being a baby. Mine still uses a high chair at restaurants. The four year olds are questionable too, depending on how mature they are for four year olds. I would imagine the other kids would be fine on their own, as long as they don’t generally have behavioral problems.
Having a sweetheart table is great though, and solves so many problems. I would personally let the parents manage their own kids…
ETA: If I was seated at a wedding away from my 2 year old, I would probably end up spending most of my time away from my seat.
Post # 15
I would find it pretty inappropriate to be separated from my young children at a meal time. This is a terrible idea and your fiancé needs to give up the head table unless you’d like to 7 children up there as well.