Ugh… who will watch these kids at our wedding reception?

posted 2 months ago in Reception
Post # 16
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

i would not want to have a head table with that many kids attending, cause guess where those kids will be at all dinner, clinging to mom and dads legs for attention…. 

i dont think a kid table close or in view of the head table is a bad idea, but i dont think kids at that age are going to be spending a lot of time sitting there like you think. 

But i would think you know these kids better then us, if they are super well behaved, then a kid table doesnt sound too bad. 

Post # 17
3285 posts
Sugar bee

It really depends in the personality type and maturity level of the kids. I find that people today seem to dismiss the idea that older children can be counted on to oversee young ones on a limited basis. (In the same room but at a different table is about as limited as it gets)As a 7 year old I could have handled the behavior of a 2 year old at my table with no problem since I was called upon to do so on a daily basis at home with my sister. I was that weird kind of kid from a Germanic type of home with a strong willed father who insisted that children behave or they were made to suffer hideous punishment such as having to take a nap or having their favorite books and Barbie dolls removed from their room. As such a child, I enjoyed being told how well-behaved I was, and I was happy to play the enforcer with a gang of little hooligans. No surprise that my college fun money came from babysitting, where I was much in demand. But if the 7 year old isn’t up to the task there might be problems. A lot of kids these days are babied by their parents who assume that unless they’re right there, chaos will ensue. Consequently you have the helicopter parenting that is so popular today.

Post # 18
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Just commenting to clarify my original statement: the babysitter helps the kids eat so the parents can sit with other adults. As PPs have said, please don’t put a 1st grader, 2nd grader, three preschoolers/kindergarteners and a toddler at a table unsupervised.

Post # 19
3194 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

sunburn :  maybe you could handle your sister at that age because she was also raised by that same type of parent..? I can guarantee my two year old would not listen to a seven year old no matter how strong willed or well behaved they were, haha. 

Post # 20
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

It would be quite unusual to have both parents of all these kids in the bridal party…wouldnt it? Your finances 2 sisters and their husbands are in your bridal party? Plus both parents of another kid?
I guess its possible but if they arent, surely the other spouse can stay with the kids?

Post # 21
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

We are paying my 17 year old niece to keep an eye on the little ones during the ceremony (the kids are in the wedding so if they don’t wanna stand up there they can run off with her) and during the reception/dinner she’ll also watch them. She’d be attending anyway and I feel that 17 is a good in between age where you really would probably rather be doing something other than attending your aunt and uncle’s wedding but since your parents will make you attend regardless, might as well get paid to watch the kids that will harass you anyway because they adore you as the cool older cousin. Do you have anyone like this? Haha 

Post # 22
1105 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Hire a sitter of their choice or help them find one.  

Post # 23
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have a 2 year old and a 7 year old. My 7 year old would be fine at a kids table. I can’t imagine placing my 2 year old at a kids table. She needs help with her food and needs her diaper changed- the parents are going to have to be involved.

Post # 24
1656 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

This has disaster written all over it. You need a babysitter 

Post # 25
464 posts
Helper bee

We had a childrens entertainer during dinner, in a room just off where the main reception was. The kids were aged 9, 8, 8, 5, 5,  3 and 3. It was amazing. The entertainer helped the kids with their dinner, and then she played games with them, sang songs, painted their faces, did a magic show, helped them with crafts and let them play with a bunny. They had the best time, and their parents were so happy to be able to enjoy their dinner without worrying about their children. Though they did go off to see what was happening from time to time because it was so much fun! Unfortunately I didnt fit in the room with my gigantic dress so I didnt get to join in!

Post # 26
967 posts
Busy bee

Personally, I think it is a lot to ask of the grandparents to watch all the kids. The grandparents are entitled to relax and enjoy their meals just as much as any other guest.

I think to put children from 2-7yrs at their own table with out a sitter accompanying them is asking for trouble. The two year old especially. That little one will want to be with their mum or dad and will most likely make that known especially if they can see their parent.

I see a couple of options here:

1. Ask the children’s parents what child care they have planned. Let them know that you wish the grandparents to be able to enjoy the speeches and meal without the distraction and added task of being child minders and having to keep the kids occupied.

2. If the parents are unwilling to provide a sitter maybe look into one yourselves. One option would be a couple of teenage relatives or cousins who know the children. They could very well be willing to be paid to sit with the kids and to keep them engaged during the meal/ photos or whatever, until the parents can take over.

Unfortunately, I have been to weddings where the parents appear to absolve themselves of any kind of supervision of their own kids as they want to kick back, drink, dance and have fun and tacitly expect other members of the family or guests to watch over their kids. This may be fine at a back yard BBQ but a wedding is a different matter.

Post # 27
1836 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

alexam :  Your fiancé is being really unfair to his parents. Of course they don’t want to be at their child’s wedding sitting with a bunch of children. Their friends and family will be there, they may have even contributed some to the cost of these events, and they shouldn’t just be declared babysitters. He needs to give up his selfish vision of a head table. Not only that, but if any of your bridal party’s spouses aren’t also in the party, it gives them a chance to be able to see, eat with, and take care of their kids with their spouse. 

Post # 28
11465 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I totally agree with those who say a head table is a really terrible idea. I’d seat the kids with their parents and hire extra sitters for the times when they will be otherwise occupied. A lot of people arrange for a nearby room where the youngest ones can come and go during the reception or have them picked up early. 

Post # 29
1683 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

We invited my SIL’s parents to our wedding and they helped watch the kids. We are friends with them so it wasn’t weird, but it was also a big help. My parents didn’t want to watch them all night as it was their kids wedding, and they wanted to have fun. Your IL’s will also not want to be the babysitter for the night. And your SO needs to give up the head table idea. Since we had so many people with kids in the wedding party, we did a kings table. Everyone sat with their families and my husband and I sat at the head of the table with our Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man right next to us. It was so much easier. 

Post # 30
331 posts
Helper bee

TwilightRarity :  All of this. lol especially the bit about remembering this for future reference smile

We had a very kid friendly wedding too, but the little ones ate with their families. A kid table is fine if it’s older children, just not do-able with little ones. 

My own kids are grown now. At 8 & up they would have happily ditched me to be at a table with their cousins and other kids, but I can’t imagine being seated separately from them when they were 2 or 4.

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