Post # 31
I have a nearly 2 year old and a nearly 4 year old and a lot of friends with kids, so I think I have some idea how this will go.
2 year olds are barely out of the baby stage and giving them a meal is a full-time job. If I was going to my brother’s wedding, I would be mortified if someone expected my Mom to feed my 2 year old his dinner instead of enjoy her son’s wedding. It’s totally unfair to expect the grandparents to act as babysitters.
4 year olds can be pretty sensible and self-sufficient at dinner time, or they can get into a silly mood.. really depends on their level of tiredness, hunger and general atmosphere around them. In any case putting a 2 year old, two 4 year olds, 2 6 year olds and a 7 year old at a table on their own is just a hilarious idea.. total recipe for disaster.
Regardless of who’s watching the kids, the parents are going to be up and down during the meal attending to them. Wedding meals take a long time, the 2 year old will need entertaining and the 4 year olds will need reminding of their manners.
The best thing for everyone all round is to have either a sweetheart table, or a modified version of a sweetheart table. Ours was that we only had the Maid/Matron of Honor and best man next to us and then our parents. That way we had the speeches (MOH speech, father of the bride speech, best man speech) all coming from one ‘high table’ and the rest of the bridal party could sit with their SOs or family or kids at tables nearby. I’d go with that option. The wedding will be far calmer if the kids are sitting with their parents. Even if you have a babysitter, there’s no guarantee that the 2 year old won’t throw a tantrum and want Mom instead or that the 4 year old won’t get up to talk to Mom half way through the meal.
Post # 32
Easiest way to solve this is give up the head table. Secretly (or sometimes not so secretly) no one likes being separated from their partners/families at dinner anyway…
Post # 33
alexam : also another thing I haven’t seen mentioned – just because a child may be capable of sitting on their own and behaving doesn’t mean they’ll want to. If I was eating a few tables away from my son he would be yelling across the room for me “mama! Mama!” Probably right in the middle of your dad’s speech or another inopportune time. And he’d be getting up, trying to get to me, crying if he wasn’t allowed to because he doesn’t understand a seating chart
Post # 34
- Wedding: March 2020 - City, State
Could you possibly reduce the number of people on the top table ? Generally in the U.K. we have bride, groom, both sets of parents, best man and maid of honour. Perhaps something like this could work ?
Post # 35
Thank you everyone!
You guys are right, a few of the children are much too young to be sitting at a table by themselves (especially with having to get up for the buffet line and restroom breaks).
I spoke to my fiance again, and he seems much more open to the idea of ditching the head table. He is now interested in doing some kind of modified sweetheart table with us, Maid/Matron of Honor, and Best Man. So who knows…
We spoke to his sister with some of the older kids, and she didnt have much of a preference to what we decide. We just messaged his other sister to see what she thinks… I have a feeling she will want to sit next to her kids.
Post # 36
I have a 3.5 year old and there is absolutely no way I would seat her at a kid’s table without a trusted adult present.
I would just let the parents sit with their kids. It’s not that big of a deal. We did regular tables and just put ours in the center, it was totally fine.
Post # 37
- Wedding: March 2021 - Kauai, HI
Can you expand the head table to include the kids?
Post # 38
Do your Maid/Matron of Honor and best man have dates coming to the wedding? They should be able to sit with them. What’s so bad with a true sweetheart table?