(Closed) Ugh, why did we even bother then!? (Re: invites & rsvps)

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Franklin Plaza

Unfortunately these guests are now invited, which I guess I don’t really get.  You’re wedding, you’re guest list.  Thats besides the point now.  I would relax and be happy that at least you’re finding out one way or another if they’re coming or not instead of having no idea until the day of.  That would be much worse.

Post # 4
Member
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Ugh, totally understand. I keep getting verbal yes’. 

Post # 5
Member
8438 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

You can request a certain way that guests RSVP but the only etiquette is that guests RSVP. So the guests are not doing anything incorrect. They are in fact RSVPing just not in the way you wanted. At the end of the day does it really make any difference in the grand scheme of thing how they RSVP? At least they are RSVPing.

I think you are misplacing your anger here. Your dad is the one who you should be angry at for inviting extra guests.

Post # 6
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@TammieRei:  “It just screams to me that these guests do not know me enough on a personal level to email ME directly, to come to MY wedding!”

This is what really strikes me about your post. Yeah it sucks they are RSVPing through your dad… but the fact these people don’t know you (and maybe you don’t know them) and now they’re going to be at your wedding.

Arg.

I getcha.

Post # 8
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Hey if your dad is handling the extra guests’ rsvps then let him! More time for you to do other things : ) I do get your frustration though rsvps are annoying enough for guests you really want there, let alone randoms… Try to be patient though, if these people don’t know you well then it’s probably a little awkward for them too : /

Post # 9
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Franklin Plaza

@TammieRei:  No problem.  That’s what we here on the bee are for!  Also maybe make a list of each guest that you dad ‘invited’ to the wedding with a yes and no column next to the names.  Keep it by the computer and check off when you get the random emails if they’re coming or not.  Maybe less stressful?

Post # 10
Member
872 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Uhg. What a pain in the ass, and that is kind of an awkward situation too. There really isn’t anything you can do though, so I’d just take it in stride and not let this get you too down. 

Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@TammieRei:  sucks they aren’t following direcitons, but maybe they called your dad to catch up thank him for the invite and let him know their plans?

 

Post # 12
Member
13014 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

At least they responded, right?

Post # 13
Member
1021 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I went through literally the exact same thing with my planning. Like your dad, mine was excited and proud and wanted all of his friends to be there. I didn’t mind that part, but the additions to the guest list and verbal RSVPs he was giving me were driving me insane. This carried on all the way until a week before the wedding. So. annoying.

I can now say, 3 weeks post wedding, that I don’t know what I was so worked up about. Our wedding was great – perfect even – and none of those things even mattered in the end. My husband and I had a blast, and so did everyone else that was there. Even friends of my parents who I had never met before seemed just as happy for us as our friends and family, and not to mention my parents’ friends were some of the people who gave the best gifts (cash), haha. Everything that pissed me off during planning seems so insignificant now. I’m sure it will be the same for you.

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