(Closed) Ughh….(vent!!)

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I am so sorry that you are having to deal with this.  Planning a wedding is stress enough and then to add that on top is an added stressor.  We had something kind of like this happen with our rehearsal dinner and my FIL’s and it was a very crushing blow for me.  We ended up saying something to his parents and we have since decided to move on and let it go. 

His parents are having his aunt pay for our rehearsal but didn’t want us to find out because they wanted us to think they are paying for it.  They have asked us also not to tell anyone else that they aren’t paying for it because they want everyone to think they are doing the “traditional” thing. 

If I was you I would bring it up to your mom.  I am sure that she is ashamed over this and feels very bad about not being able to cover it and this is why she hasn’t brought it up. 

Sorry again.  Good luck

Post # 5
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

Hmmm…that is a tough situation to be in and for that I’m sorry.  I would wait a few days to approach your Mom because it sounds like you have quite a few emotions going on right now…disappointment, anger, embarrassment, etc.  When you do speak with her try to stick with the facts and not get emotional.  I would let her know that you are doing everything you possibly can to make ends meet and you’d like for her to do the same.  Although this is a difficult time for many people financially, I would ask her to do everything in her power to save up the funds and pay back your FI’s family in the future.  In the end, I think this would help everyone out and for her to “save face”. 

Post # 6
Member
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@Miss.Lace :  Actually FH’s mom broke down crying and it was a huge thing she was so upset over us finding out.  I hate to see people get upset so maybe avoiding it is best.  Good luck. 

Post # 7
Member
7173 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I think you need to gently bring it up to your mom.  She might be feeling a lot of pressure about what she feels she SHOULD be doing for you related to the wedding.  I think if you had an open and kind conversation with her about it – it would ultimately take a lot of the stress off her shoulders that she might be feeling.  Tread gently and tell her everything will be OK!!  I’m sure in a perfect world, she wanted to take care of everything – but overcommitting is NOT helping anyone (esp you and FI!).  Now that you know her financial situation, maybe you can think of other ways to include her??  Give her early deadlines for when that stuff has to be done, too. 

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