(Closed) Ugh,just some moral support needed ladies….(long sorry)

posted 8 years ago in Home
Post # 3
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

He doesn’t like upheaval, but he likes YOU! If you’re truly unhappy, talk to him about it. It may be that it makes sense to work out a plan of what you can do, both of you, over a certain amount of time to make it a great home.

Can I ask where you are, in a general kind of way? I mean, coming into winter, are you going to be cold or dangerously cold in this house? You do sound like you’re kind of in shock with the situation.

We have an awful lot to do to our house as well, but we don’t have the option at all to leave.:(

If you were told in the morning that you could never ever have another home, would you freak out entirely? If so, then it’s prob best to move as soon as possible. If not, then there must be a way to make it work. Maybr a gardening party with a gang of your friends in Spring – shovels, beer & pizza?

Post # 4
Member
743 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Bummer!  From your posts, it seems like you are putting a lot of money and time into “home repairs.”  If you are renting, you should not be paying for things that improve the property – that is your landlord’s responsibility.  And it is completely reasonable to ask the landlord to make home repairs (i.e. improve the insulation).  

But bottom line, if you don’t like where you are living, then you should move!  It may take a lot money/stress up front, but in 1-2 years, you will probably feel better (just in general) knowing you have a “home” to go home to after work! 

Post # 5
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

As to how to broach the subject… only you know your man, but I would’ve thought something along the lines of    ‘Honey I know you’re happy enough with this house, but I am truly very unhappy here…’  should be a good opener…

 

ETA: I’m only after spotting the word ‘RENT’ in your post! Get the hell out of there!! I’d assumed you had bought the house together. Dammit, life is way too short to be miserable in a house you’re renting. Cut your losses and go. An old house drinks money – at least if you owned it, you’d reap the long term benefits of your sacrifice.Definitely, have that talk with him!

Post # 6
Member
608 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

You should defintely talk to your Fiance.  This is important to you and those are the things you should be open and honest with your Fiance about.  I also agree that as a renter you should not being spending money on home repairs.  Have you decorated your places and tried to make it yours?  I know I disliked the first duplex with awful neighbors that my Fiance and I first lived in.  Although I was never crazy about it, once we put up photos and add some furniture it felt like ours after that.  Also we went and got a lot of weather stripping for our house for all the outside doors and windows and that helped a ton and was pretty cheap. Also adding thick blinds sometimes helps with the heat.   I’d try making it yours first, buying a space heater for the room your are in, weather stripping, and talking to your Fiance first before you bail.  Then if your still unhappy look at your option to move.

Post # 9
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Um.. you should def not spend any money updating this house. It’s a rental. It is a complete waste of money to spend anything to make it better. Sorry. Save that money and just focus on maybe prettying it up, with pictures, cheap (or DIY) art, and other items that’ll make it feel more like home. And just count the days until you can move out.

Post # 10
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

Why are you doing work on a rental?  Isn’t that the responsibility of the owner and not you?

If I were renting, you can bet that I wouldn’t rent a fixer upper unless I was getting a huge discount on rent in lieu of doing repairs. 

Post # 12
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

It swounds to me like you are overwhelmed by all you ahve to do. I ahve the same issue ,but I know of something that can help.

Go around, room to room, and outside, and write down what you want to do. What would make it better? Write down soe big projects, but make sure you write some small ones, too.

Then use this as a checklist. Do a few small things, things that will make you feel good and will make you feel like you are on a roll! It will make it so much easier to get to the bigger things. And using a checklist helps with that overwhelming feeling. Also, stick to one or two areas at a time.

As far as the heat- would heavy drapery help? what aboutsome longjohns, or some nice blankets for the sofa?

If you try to fix everything all at once, or just stand there in tears because of all that has to be done (I’ve been there, believe me), then nothing gets done and you will continue to hate it. Take charge and make changes if you have to stay where you are.

 

Post # 13
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree though, that if this is a rental, you should not be spending a lot on it. Just decorate it and surround yourselves with things you love…maybe osme paint, if it will cheer the place up.

Post # 14
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

The place we are renting isn’t the greatest either.  I swear you were describing the place that I am living!  Is there any way that you can find a less expensive place (even if it’s not that nice?).  I think if money weren’t as tight and you could do things outside of the house, you won’t be as upset about how icky the house is since you aren’t around all the time.  Just make sure that you wait until the end of the lease since you can’t afford to pay to break the lease.

Post # 15
Member
1315 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Would a shared house with other people/friends be something you’d consider? It would prob mean living somewhere far nicer for the same rent. Our house is bloody freezing, and Fiance is constantly moaning about the lovely flat we left behind to move home!

The topic ‘Ugh,just some moral support needed ladies….(long sorry)’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors